


For Now And Always

by RaeDMagdon



Series: Now [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-12-06
Packaged: 2017-12-31 04:52:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 66,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeDMagdon/pseuds/RaeDMagdon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Liara T'Soni is rescued by a dashing human stranger, she has no idea that she is about to leave her old life as a broke, unappreciated archaeologist behind and join a race to save the Galaxy from the greatest threat it has ever known... and perhaps fall in love along the way. FemShep/Liara, retelling of ME1 from Liara's perspective</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a retelling of ME1 from Liara's POV, although I might introduce the sex a little bit earlier than in-game. I haven't decided yet, so let me know what you think. Expect the usual sex, although it comes a bit later in the story, since this is a retelling of ME1. D/s, strap-ons, etc. Probably some light spanking and bondage, too.

Graduate school had not prepared her for this. 

Upon her departure from Thessia several months ago, Liara T’Soni had made meticulous preparations: checking and double-checking lists of supplies, securing transportation, and - most important of all - submitting all of the correct paperwork to the University of Serrice. Since she had drifted apart from her mother and stopped accepting an allowance, her funds were running dangerously low, but she had managed to scrape together just enough for one last solo dig to validate her research. She had even managed to persuade the University of Serrice’s financial office to reimburse her for some of the costs if she found anything of value. Now, more than likely, she wouldn’t live to see that badly-needed payment hit her account.

Once again, Liara tried to get a proper look at her surroundings, but it was difficult. She couldn’t move much more than her head, and the blue energy humming in front of her face blurred some of her view. The technology was fascinating, and if she hadn’t been trapped inside it, she would have been desperate to study the strange security device. Right now, though, she just wanted to escape the mine with her life. “I never should have pressed that button,” she muttered, even though she knew that talking to herself was useless. “No, I never should have taken the elevator. I never should have gone into the mine to begin with! Why is it that my first instinct when I see creepy, abandoned ruins is to explore them?” She sighed and hung her head the few inches that the security device keeping her suspended would allow. “Actually, I never should have come to Therum at all.”

But she had been desperate. Despite her careful studies of the available data and her discoveries on previous digs, her colleagues had dismissed her findings as irrelevant. After decades of careful research, she was no better off than she had been upon receiving her diploma. A nobody. If she hadn’t agreed to teach some of the introductory archaeology and history courses at the University during the last semester, she wouldn’t even have a stipend. Therum had been her last hope, a final ditch attempt to come up with conclusive proof of her theory - that the protheans were only the first in a long line of great civilizations that had been wiped out.

Liara sighed. None of that mattered now. The krogan and his geth had managed to chase her into this trap, and it was a miracle that she had managed to stop them with the small panel she had discovered. She had enough working knowledge of prothean technology to erect the barrier curtains, although some of it had been dumb luck. Unfortunately, the suspended-in-the-air part had been an accident. Now, she was trapped in a blue bubble with no way to get out and enemies surrounding her. She couldn’t see them anymore, but she could occasionally hear them moving through the dark levels of the mine, trying to discover a way to get her out. And when they did… she shuddered. She didn’t want to think about it.

A flicker of movement over to one side caught her attention, and Liara turned her head as best she could, squinting to make out the strange shape moving towards her in the dark. At first, she feared that it was the krogan again, but as it drew closer, the blue light illuminated something completely unexpected. 

A human. 

That was only slightly less surprising than the appearance of the geth. Liara did not know much about humans, and she hadn’t expected to see a friendly face on the mostly-abandoned planet. At least, she hoped the human was friendly, despite its raised gun. _No, she,_ Liara thought. This one had long hair, and although her jaw looked strong and rather masculine, there was a slight softness to the rest of her face. 

Liara decided to risk it. The human might be working with the krogan and the geth, but it wasn’t like she had any better options. “Can you hear me out there?” she shouted, unsure whether her voice would even travel through the barrier curtain. “I’m trapped, I need help!”

The human stepped forward, further into the light, and Liara was relieved when the gun stayed at her side. Not a threat, then. “Are you okay?” she asked. “What happened to you?”

Liara breathed a sigh of relief. Apparently, the human could hear her. Thank the Goddess. Hopefully, she would be capable enough to follow instructions as well. “Listen, this thing I’m in is a Prothean security device. I cannot move, so I need you to get me out of it, all right? Please!”

The human seemed to consider her words for a moment, brow furrowing in thought. “Your mother is working with Saren,” she said. “Whose side are you on?”

“What?” Liara’s eyes widened as she tried to understand. The name ‘Saren’ sounded somewhat familiar, but she could not quite place it, and the mention of her mother threw her completely. They had not been in contact at all recently, partially because Benezia had never fully approved of her career choices. “I am not on anybody’s side!” she insisted. “I may be Benezia’s daughter, but I am nothing like her. I have not spoken to her in years! Please, just get me out of here!”

“How did you end up in there?” the human asked, turning her attention to the blue barrier.

Grateful that the human seemed to believe her, Liara’s explanation came out in a tumble. “I was exploring the ruins when the geth showed up, so I hid in here. Can you believe that? Geth, beyond the veil! I activated the tower’s defenses. I knew the barrier curtains would keep them out. But when I turned it on, I must have hit something I wasn’t supposed to. I was trapped in here. You must get me out, please!”

“We’ll find some way to help you,” the human said. 

“There is a control in here that should deactivate this thing,” Liara explained. It was the same one she had used before foolishly trapping herself. “You’ll have to find some way past the barrier curtain. That’s the tricky part. The defenses cannot be shut off from the outside. I don’t know how you’ll get in here.”

The human smiled, and Liara was surprised when the gesture actually helped to reassure her. “Don’t worry,” she said, putting her helmet back on her head and covering her curious red hair. “I’ll figure it out.”

“Be careful,” Liara urged, suddenly remembering that they were not alone in the mineshaft. “There is a krogan with the geth. They’ve been trying different ways to get past the barrier.”

The human nodded, but her face was still obscured by the helmet. “Got it. Hang tight - um… I mean… just… stay there. Yeah. I’m going to pretend I didn’t say that.” She trotted down the left side of the catwalk, disappearing back into the darkness. Feeling even more alone than she had before her would-be rescuer’s arrival, Liara hung her head. She waited, trying not to think too much about the human trying to save her, or what would happen to her when - if - she finally escaped. It would be far too dangerous to stay on Therum, and her digsite was ruined thanks to the geth. She would have to start from scratch, assuming she even got out of here alive. 

Suddenly, after what couldn’t have been more than a few minutes, Liara felt the blue light around her jolt. There was a low rumble, and the barrier curtains winked out of existence. She strained, turning her head over her shoulder despite the pain in her neck, and breathed a sigh of relief. It was the human again, and she wasn’t alone. There was a turian behind her, as well as another human. It had its helmet on, but based on size and the shape of the chest armor, she guessed that it was female as well. 

“How did you get in here?” she asked, honestly surprised that her savior had managed to lower the barrier curtains so quickly. She had struggled with it herself, although that might have been because of the geth shooting at her. Fortunately, her biotics had been enough to fend them off. She had never been more grateful for the biotic training her mother’s servant, Shiala, had forced on her. “I didn’t think there was any way past the barrier.”

The human ignored her question. “We have to get you out of here before more geth arrive,” she said brusquely.

Liara blushed, embarrassed at how easily she had been distracted. “Yes, you’re right. I’ve seen enough of them to last a lifetime. That button should shut down my containment field.” She gestured with her head as best she could, nodding over at the control panel that she had accidentally misused. 

The human turned away from her and slammed her hand into the glowing button in the middle of the screen. When Liara fell, her pride hurt worse than the ankle she nearly twisted trying to catch her weight. She stood up quickly, brushing herself off and turning to face the three aliens.

“Any idea how we get out of this place?” the turian asked before she could even utter a ‘thank you’. Liara cleared her throat. There would be time for that later.

“There is an elevator back in the center of the tower. At least, I think it’s an elevator… it, ah, sort of worked when I tried to use it.”

“What do you mean, sort of?” the other human asked, and from her voice, Liara could tell that her first guess had been right. This one was female, too. “That doesn’t sound very reassuring.”

“It only fell a little,” Liara insisted. “And, anyway, we don’t have much of a choice. I think it’s the only way to leave the mine. Come on, I’ll show you.” She began walking, and the first human left the panel to fall in step beside her, keeping a careful grip on her gun.


	2. Chapter 2

Liara couldn't help feeling nervous as they stepped onto the platform of the elevator. When she had used it to descend into the mine earlier, it had shuddered and jolted the whole way down, actually dropping the last several feet and nearly sending her stomach with it. The strange red-haired human and her companions all took their helmets off again, and for a moment, Liara considered bringing attention to the unwise decision. Then, she decided that questioning her rescuers was probably a bad idea.

Reluctantly, she followed them onto the platform, crossing her arms nervously below her breasts and hoping that she wouldn't embarrass herself by throwing up all over their boots. And, sadly, that was the least of her worries. There were still the geth and the krogan to contend with. Her eyes flicked towards her savior, and she hoped that the human's fighting skills were as formidable as they appeared from a casual glance. She was certainly outfitted like a warrior. Her assault rifle appeared to be top of the line, although Liara did not consider herself very knowledgeable about weapons. Her armor was expensive-looking, too, but the design was also practical, and Liara suspected that underneath it, the human's body was incredibly muscular.

A blush crawled across Liara's cheeks as she realized that she was staring awkwardly, and she blinked to clear her head, looking slightly away from the human. "I still cannot believe all this," she said, pretending to stare up at the ceiling. "Why would the geth come after me? Do you think Benezia's involved?"

"Saren's looking for the conduit," the other human said. "Think fast, Miss Prothean Expert. He probably wants you to help him find it." Her tone was anything but pleasant, almost accusatory, and Liara felt herself flinch.

"The Conduit? But I don't know -"

A low rumble echoed above them, making the elevator platform vibrate beneath their feet. This time, Liara had a good reason to stare at the ceiling, and she felt her heart shoot up and lodge somewhere in her throat. "Um, excuse me…" she murmured, looking at the red haired human.

"Shepard. Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy," she said, joining Liara in looking for the source of the noise. It came again, shaking some of the loose rocks just beyond the platform.

"Um, how did you manage to lower those barrier curtains?"

Shepard smiled. "It was pretty cool, actually. There was this mining laser, and -" The low rumble came a third time, making the elevator shudder. "Oh, shit. I did this, didn't I?"

Liara swallowed nervously, but she did not answer. Fortunately, the turian spoke up for her. "So, what the hell was that?" he asked. "Whatever it is, it doesn't sound good."

"Not good at all," Liara agreed. "These ruins are not stable. That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event." Her heart had returned to her chest, but it was now pounding mercilessly against her ribcage in an effort to escape. She hoped she wasn't visibly shaking as she hurried over to the elevator's operating panel and began fiddling with the buttons, hoping she wouldn't press the wrong ones this time. "We have to hurry, the whole place is caving in!"

When the elevator started to rise, Liara only felt the knot in her stomach tighten. The rocks were shaking even worse than before, and the low booms echoing all around them were growing louder. She turned just as Shepard lifted one hand to her ear, a frown pulling at her lips. "Joker, get the Normandy airborne and locked in on my signal, on the double!"

"Aye Aye, Commander, secure and away," a slightly garbled voice answered over the comm. "ETA is eight minutes."

"We need to move faster," the turian said, staring at the slowly approaching ceiling. "At this rate, we won't make it out in time."

Liara didn't want to admit it, but she was starting to believe that he was right. She sighed. That would be just her luck, too. Rescued from her own accidental imprisonment only to die in some kind of earthquake. At least that death would be more fitting for an archaeologist than being shot by...

At that exact moment, the elevator shuddered to a stop at the upper level. The large, hulking shape of the krogan was blocking the only exit. Liara winced. Her bad luck had just turned to terrible luck. The krogan stomped towards them, lifting his own rifle as two white geth platforms followed him. A larger red one slunk off to the left, apparently trying to get behind them. Beside her, she could see Shepard and the other two warriors putting their helmets back on, preparing for a fight.

"Surrender!" the krogan bellowed. "Or don't." He chuckled, making Liara's flesh crawl as his gaze fixed directly on her. "That would be more fun."

"In case you didn't notice, this place is falling apart!" Shepard snapped. As if to prove her point, another thunderous roar shook the mines.

The krogan only smirked at them. "Exhilarating, isn't it? Thanks for getting rid of those energy fields for us." He stuck out one hand, motioning with his gloved fingers. "Hand the doctor over."

Liara tried to summon her biotics, but she was too exhausted from her imprisonment to manage more than a brief blue flicker of light around her fists. Still, she was not about to submit to the krogan before he had even captured her, especially when an earthquake threatened to swallow them all up. "Whatever it is you want, you are not getting it from me!" she said, hoping that he wouldn't notice the slight break in her voice.

To Liara's immense relief, Shepard popped the heat sink from her rifle, aiming it directly at the krogan. "She'll stay with us, thanks."

"Not an option," he grunted. "Saren wants her, and he always gets what he wants. Kill them! Spare the asari if you can. If not, it doesn't matter."

Then, the world around them exploded into gunfire. Knowing she was useless without her biotics or a weapon, Liara stumbled back towards the elevator, making herself as small as possible as she tried to find cover. After a few sickening, breathless moments, she managed to crouch down behind one of the low metal corners of the platform. From there, she caught a glimpse of blue light, and her eyes widened in surprise.

Shepard was a biotic.

Liara had never seen any creature other than an asari use them in combat before, although she knew that both humans and turians could develop them to a lesser extent if they were exposed to enough eezo. She watched in awe as Shepard surrounded herself with a pulsing blue shield, careless of the bullets from the geth that rained off her. With a loud shout, she charged forward, ramming directly into one of the geth platforms. It crumpled before her after one hit, sparking on the ground, and she fired her rifle into its chest for good measure. Meanwhile, the turian and the other human were shooting at the red geth. There was a small, brief explosion, and Liara gasped, throwing her hands over her head just in case the ceiling decided to come down on them. Apparently, someone had launched a grenade.

When she looked up again, Liara saw that Shepard had turned her attention to the krogan. Careless of the danger, she bolted forward, throwing up her shields at the last second and colliding with the larger alien. Both of them grunted and staggered backwards, but Shepard recovered faster. She fired, shooting directly into the krogan's chest. It barked in pain as the shots dented its armor, but managed to lower its head for a charge. Shepard threw up her shields just in time. The force of the krogan sent her sprawling, but she managed to stay on her feet and cling to the grip of her rifle. "Vakarian! Williams! Take out that other geth!" she shouted. "It keeps lowering my shields!"

"On it, Skipper," the other human hollered back, immediately reaching for another grenade.

"Don't!" Liara said, praying that they could hear her from where she was hiding. "This place is already unstable!"

Even from a considerable distance, Liara could sense the death glare that the human sent her through her helmet's visor. Still, she reluctantly put away her grenade. "Garrus, can you hack that thing?"

"Who do you think I am, Tali? No, but I can overload its shields and give you a good shot. Just don't miss." There was a spark, and the other geth began going haywire, its limbs jerking as its programming tried to fight whatever the turian had done. After a few seconds, it exploded as the human put a shot directly through its chest, revealing its wiring.

Off to the left, Shepard was still battling with the krogan. She sent him stumbling with another loud, bright charge, finally succeeding in knocking him over. The krogan struggled beneath her, roaring in anger, but Shepard ignored him, planting her boot directly onto his armored stomach and raising her rifle. She didn't waste any time. One shot into his unprotected face, and he began bleeding out onto the floor of the mine.

Liara finally felt safe enough to crawl out from her hiding place, slightly embarrassed and angry with herself for not being able to help. She was still shaking as Shepard approached, and she nearly collapsed with exhaustion and fear. When the human offered her an arm, she took it gratefully. "You okay?" Shepard asked, helping her to stand up.

Liara nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but the other human interrupted them. "Commander? We gotta move!"

Another rumble nearly drowned out her voice, but Shepard got the meaning. "Come on," she said to Liara, "let's get out of here."

Together, all four of them started sprinting towards the exit as the ground shook beneath their feet. Rocks fell around them, and Liara tried to follow Shepard's example, weaving back and forth to avoid the rubble. One of the chunks of earth nearly hit her head, and she stumbled, but Shepard managed to catch her elbow and haul her along, not once breaking her stride. Panting and out of breath, Liara put on a burst of speed to match Shepard's pace.

Finally, they reached the small bridge that led to the open mouth of the mines. Liara lifted her arms to shield herself from the dust that rained down from cracks in the ceiling. She could barely see, and she fixated on Shepard's back, trusting the human to guide her. The loud roar of the earthquake drowned out their pounding footsteps over the shaking metal bridge, and Shepard had to stop short at a turn, barely dodging a large boulder as the ceiling collapsed. "Move!" she shouted, shoving Liara up the stairs.

Coughing with every breath, Liara did her best to scramble up the steps, occasionally relying on her hands to push upwards. The dust had stopped falling down on them, and she suddenly realized that they had broken out into a short tunnel. Light shone at the end, and for a moment, Liara felt just hopeful enough to break out in another run. She burst into the sunlight just ahead of Shepard, pulling in greedy breaths of air, but it all came whooshing out again in a sigh of relief. Sitting at the entrance to the mine, was a small, sleek ship, its engines already firing. There was text printed on the side, but her eyesight was too blurry to make it out. Her run became a stagger, and when she nearly collapsed through the ship's open door, only Shepard's grip on her arm managed to keep her upright. She was too overwhelmed to notice the doors closing behind them.

"We're in, Joker," she heard Shepard say as she sagged against the human's chest, "double time it out of here."


	3. Chapter 3

"I - I want to thank you again, Commander. For… for saving my life." Liara blushed, taking another step away from the human. Shepard had taken off her helmet again, and her red hair was clinging to her slightly sweaty cheeks. She looked almost exhilarated, and Liara felt her heart rate spike again briefly. The Commander's embrace had shaken her, even if it was only to prevent her from collapsing with exhaustion. Now, her legs were finally steady again, and Liara wasn't sure whether she felt relieved or disappointed at the new distance between them.

Shepard reached to rub the back of her neck, offering Liara a smile that made her stomach flutter. "Well, I couldn't leave you hanging, could I?"

Liara simply stared, unsure what Shepard was talking about. So far, even though their interactions had been brief, she had found Shepard's behavior very strange. She wasn't sure whether it was because Shepard happened to be a human, or whether she was simply odd all on her own. Still, there was something strangely compelling about her, a sort of force or pull that Liara could not quite describe. She would have to think about it later.

"Sorry," Shepard muttered a moment later, still grinning. "Bad joke."

"She does this all the time," the turian said, shaking his head slightly. "Just ignore her lame deliveries. That's what we've learned to do."

"Oh," Liara murmured, unsure what else to say. She had nearly forgotten that the turian and the other human were still with them in the decontamination chamber. She laced her hands in front of her, gripping a little too tight out of nervousness. "Have you been with Commander Shepard long?"

"No more than a few weeks," the turian said. "Garrus Vakarian, former C-Sec. Shepard here cut through some red tape for me, so I'm tagging along with her crew." He offered her his talons, palm-forward, and Liara was surprised to receive the asari gesture from a different species. She let go of her own hands and placed her palm against his.

"Doctor Liara T'Soni. It is good to meet you, Garrus Vakarian." She paused, considering whether it would be appropriate to ask more questions, but she couldn't help wondering how these strange people had come across her all the way on Therum, deep in an abandoned mine. Eventually, her curiosity got the better of her. "You say you were a former C-Sec officer. What are you doing away from the Citadel?"

"Chasing a slippery bastard named Saren," the other human said, pulling off her own helmet. Her skin was slightly darker than Shepard's, and she didn't have the same pleasant dots on her face. She also had longer hair, although it was tied up in a frizzy bun. Briefly, Liara wondered what human hair felt like. She had never touched it before, and she had to admit that it fascinated her, especially the short, choppy strands of red on Shepard's head. "Name's Ashley Williams," she added as an afterthought. "My unit used to be the 212, but they were wiped out on Eden Prime. Now, I'm with Skipper here." She glanced at Shepard, and Liara could plainly see the admiration in her gaze.

"Eden Prime?" she asked. "I'm afraid I don't know anything about that world. Is it a human colony?"

"Was," Shepard said. "Saren destroyed it."

Suddenly, Liara remembered where she had heard Saren's name before. "Oh! Of course! He's a Council SpecTRe, isn't he? One of their more famous turian operatives. Goddess, how could I be stupid enough to forget -"

"Wait," Ashley said, her brow furrowing, "you mean you don't know about him? I thought your mother -"

Liara noticed the glare that Shepard gave Williams, and she couldn't help being grateful for the silent gesture. Still stammering a little, she tried to offer an explanation. "I'm sorry, I really have no idea what's going on, why I was attacked, or why you showed up to rescue me. Does my mother have something to do with it?"

"We don't know much yet, but we think so," Shepard said reluctantly. Liara could see sympathy in her eyes, and she was momentarily taken aback by how green they were. "Anyway, we managed to prove to the Council that Saren is responsible for some geth attacks on that colony Ashley mentioned, Eden Prime."

Liara gasped. "You - you mean, the geth on Therum were not an isolated pocket? There are more of them?" It was almost unthinkable. Geth had not been seen beyond the Perseus Veil since… well, longer than she had been alive. "And were they trying to kill me on Saren's orders?"

"A little slow picking up on that, aren't you?" Ashley said, rolling her eyes.

"Come on, Williams, give her a break," Shepard interrupted, taking a step closer to Liara. "It's obvious she has no clue about this."

"What about Matriarch Benezia?" Ashley asked, her eyes narrowing with suspicion. "Her voice was on that recording with Saren."

Liara swallowed, hoping her word would sound truthful to Shepard, at least. "As I said, Benezia and I have not spoken in years. She does not approve of my chosen profession," she added in a mumble, lowering her head.

"Your profession is going to be useful," Garrus said. "The reason Saren attacked Eden Prime was to get his talons on some Prothean tech. I wasn't there, but I have a feeling we're going to run into more Prothean connections before long."

Liara was about to ask further questions, her face brightening at the thought of discussing her favorite subject, but a voice over the comm interrupted them. "Commander? You've been standing in the decontamination room for five minutes. There some kind of problem I should know about?"

"Oh!" Shepard hurried to pick up her helmet and weapon. She stared sheepishly at the green light and slammed her fist against the door-open panel. "Sorry, Joker. Got distracted. Come on, we need to brief the rest of the crew."

Sticking close behind Shepard, Liara found herself boarding a small but surprisingly spacious ship. The design was unfamiliar to her, but aside from a few standard transports designed to shuttle travelers through the relays, she had not been a passenger on many ships, especially military ones. Most of the crew was human, and she tried not to appear as if she was gawking as Shepard led her past a large, circular navigational map. She had never seen so many aliens before in her life.

"Welcome to the SSV-Normandy SR-1, Liara," Shepard said, stopping to let Liara draw even with her.

"This is your ship?" Liara asked in disbelief, still staring, wide-eyed, at everything around her. "This is fascinating! I would love to study -"

"Damn, she's almost as bad as the quarian," Ashley muttered behind them, but Liara noticed that she was smiling.

"Hey, Tali's all right," Garrus said. "A little, uh, enthusiastic, but…"

Ashley shrugged. "Cool it, Garrus. I was just teasing. I know Tali isn't trying to steal our technology or anything now. I trust her." She gave Liara another searching glance, and the asari could tell that the same obviously did not hold true for her.

Together, the four of them walked into yet another room, this one wide and circular. It had several chairs, and half of them were already occupied. A krogan, another human, and a quarian - probably the one Ashley had mentioned - were sitting down, as if waiting for their arrival. "Commander!" the human said, rising from his seat and saluting. From his voice, Liara guessed that he was a male of the species, although he did not have any hair growing from his face as some of them did. "Good to see you alive and unharmed."

"At ease, Alenko," Shepard said. When he didn't look convinced, she added, "We're all fine, Kaidan. The mission was a success."

"Heard you were nearly blown up by a volcano," the krogan rumbled. "Nice." Unlike the others, he did not bother to rise from his seat. Liara could not help being a little intimidated by his size, nevertheless. Perhaps it was because another krogan had nearly killed her only a few minutes before. However, if Shepard trusted this one, then so would she. It wasn't like she had any other choice.

"I wouldn't call that nice, Wrex," the quarian said.

"It wouldn't have been nice if she was eaten by the lava," Wrex amended, a little sulkily. "What kind of death is that? No honor."

"Um, thanks, I guess," Shepard said, shaking her head at Wrex and gesturing for Kaidan to take his seat again. Then, she turned to Liara. "Why don't you sit down? We all need to pool our information and figure out what to do next. I bet you have a lot of questions…"

Liara looked nervously around the room, but saw that there were only three open chairs. Since Shepard had not taken one of them, she suspected that the Commander would choose to remain standing. Feeling like a shy child in grade school trying to decide where to sit for lunch, she glanced at the quarian, the krogan, and the human. One of her choice was taken away when Ashley sat down next to her fellow human, and the other a few moments later, when Garrus sat at the back of the circle next to the last open chair. The only remaining space was between him and the krogan. Reluctantly, Liara crept over to the chair and sat down, ignoring the numerous eyes watching her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike Chapter 3, Chapter 4 borrows quite a bit of dialogue from the game, but there are some important expansions/changes as well, particularly in regards to the Conduit. Chapter 5 will have lots of original material. This entire story will borrow quite a bit from the Liara cutscenes in ME1, but I also want it to go well beyond that. As always, tell me what you think.

Satisfied, Shepard walked to the center of the room. "Well, today's mission was a close call," she said, addressing the crew, "but all of us got out alive. That's the important thing."

"Too close, Commander." The voice of the pilot came in over the comm, nearly making Liara jump in surprise. She settled back down into her chair, slightly embarrassed by her startled reaction. "Ten more seconds, and we would have been swimming in molten sulfur. The Normandy isn't equipped to land in exploding volcanoes. They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull, just for future reference."

Liara's eyes widened in surprise. She was slightly hurt by the pilot's cavalier attitude towards the danger they had barely escaped. "We almost died out there, and your pilot is making jokes?" she asked incredulously.

"Joker pulled our asses out of there," Shepard said with a shrug. "I think he's earned the right to a few bad jokes."

"I see. It must be a human thing. I don't have a lot of experience dealing with your species, Commander." Liara regretted the words as soon as she spoke them, and she resisted the temptation to shove her fist into her mouth, just in case anything even more embarrassing came out. "But I am grateful to you," she added quickly, hoping she could save herself from further humiliation. "You saved my life back there, and not just from the volcano. Those geth would have killed me, or dragged me off to Saren."

The male human, Kaidan, leaned forward in his chair to get a better look at her. "What did Saren want with you?" he asked, lifting his hands and gesturing at her from across the room. "Do you know something about the conduit?"

Liara's jaw dropped in shock. "The conduit? How do you know about… I mean… are you a Prothean scholar as well?" she asked, studying Kaidan with much more interest. "It is mentioned in several ancient texts, and -" Liara caught Shepard staring at her, and she blushed, lowering her eyes to the floor. "I'm sorry, I was rambling. May I ask what you know about the Conduit, Commander?"

"Not much," Shepard admitted, folding her arms over her chest. "We were hoping you'd be able to fill in some gaps for us."

A short wrinkle creased Liara's forehead as she considered the best way to explain. "It is a source of great power that is mentioned several times in the records of Prothean history we have managed to uncover. However, it is never described in great detail. Most references to it have been erased or damaged, and the only ones remaining are vague and unhelpful at best." Liara sighed wistfully. "It is considered a true loss in my field of study. Scholars cannot even agree on what it is. The most popular theory is that the conduit is some kind of weapon, or the source of whatever killed the last of the Protheans… or both. " Suddenly, Liara connected the dots. She glanced up at Shepard again, slightly panicked. "If it is, in fact, a weapon, or the cause of the Prothean extinction, do you think Saren -"

"I think if this conduit thing wasn't dangerous, Saren wouldn't be looking for it," Ashley said, interrupting her.

Shepard gave her a brief, chastising look before turning back to Liara and giving the asari her full attention. Liara found herself blushing, although she did not know why. "So, you can't tell us any more about the conduit?" Shepard asked, looking a little disappointed.

Liara felt her stomach drop. "I'm sorry, but no. All I know is that it is closely tied to the Prothean extinction. I have spent the past 50 years trying to figure out what happened to them."

Shepard did a double take. "Fifty years? Just how old are you, exactly?" she asked.

Liara sighed. She always dreaded this moment when meeting new people, although it was unavoidable. Perhaps this time she would be lucky, since all of the aliens around her except for the krogan had short lifespans. Reluctantly, she answered the question. "I hate to admit it, but I am only a hundred and six."

"Damn," Ashley snorted, giving her an up-and-down. "I hope I look that good when I'm your age."

Liara blushed, unsure whether that was a compliment or an insult. She decided to take it as a compliment, if only to make herself feel better. "A century may seem like a long time to a short lived species like yours, but among the asari, I am barely considered more than a child," she said, hoping the hurt she felt did not show in her voice. She forced down a surge of unpleasant memories, trying not to think about the dismissive and outright disdainful way some of the older faculty-members at the University of Serrice often treated her. "That is why my research has not received the attention it deserves. Because of my youth, other asari scholars tend to dismiss my theories on what happened to the Protheans."

If Shepard noticed her discomfort with their current topic, she did not let on. Instead, she gave Liara a searching look. Liara shivered. This strange human's gaze almost seemed as if it could penetrate her skin and peer straight into her heart, putting all of her inner workings were on display. "I've got my own theory on why the Protheans disappeared," she said at last.

"With all due respect, Commander, I have heard every theory out there. The problem is finding evidence to support them. The Protheans left remarkably little behind. It is like someone came along after the Protheans were gone and cleansed the galaxy of clues. The conduit is a good example. It was obviously something very important, especially since it is mentioned so many times in Prothean texts, but all useful information on what it is has been erased." For a moment, Liara paused, waiting for the objections and disbelief that usually came when she explained her theories. When none came, her lips twitched up on her smile. The entire room was listening to her, and apparently, they trusted her expertise on the subject. She decided to continue. "But here is the incredible part. According to my findings, the Protheans are not the first galactic civilization to mysteriously vanish. This cycle began long before them."

"Where'd you come up with this theory?" Shepard asked. "I thought there wasn't any evidence?" Her tone was soft and curious, obviously not an attack, and Liara hurried to explain.

"I have been working on this for fifty years. I have tracked down every scrap and shred of evidence. Eventually, subtle patterns start to emerge. It is difficult to explain to someone else," she said, her voice dropping a little. At least this time, someone was actually listening to her instead of simply tearing down her theories. "I cannot point to one specific thing to prove my case. It is more… a feeling derived from a half-century of dedicated research. But I know I'm right, and eventually, I will be able to prove it. There were other civilizations before the Protheans. This cycle has repeated itself many times over."

"If the Protheans weren't the first, then who was?"

"I don't know. There is barely any evidence on the Protheans, and even less on those who came before them. The galaxy is built on a cycle of extinction. Each time a great civilization rises up, it is suddenly and violently cast down. Only ruins survive. The Protheans rose up from a single world until their empire spanned the entire galaxy, yet even they climbed to the top on the remains of those who came before. Their greatest achievements, the Mass Relays and the Citadel, are based on the technology of those who came before them. And then, like all the other forgotten civilizations throughout galactic history, the Protheans disappeared. I have dedicated my life to figuring out why."

Shepard uncrossed her arms and took a step closer to Liara's chair. Her gaze was intense. "They were wiped out by a race of sentient machines. The Reapers."

"The - the Reapers?" Liara stuttered in disbelief. "But I have never heard of…" But even as she tried to form a response, the pieces were fitting together. Machines could erase data. Machines could meticulously wipe out an entire civilization without leaving a trace. Machines could disappear afterwards, leaving the galaxy empty for the next-comers without building an empire of their own. The geth were living proof that sentient machines existed. Surely, creatures like that on a larger scale could destroy an empire. "How do you know this? What evidence do you have?"

"There was a damaged Prothean beacon on Eden Prime," Shepard said, raising a hand to her forehead and briefly rubbing it with her fingers. Liara was slightly disconcerted by the fact that she couldn't see the human's eyes. "It burned a vision into my brain. I'm still trying to sort out what it all means."

"Visions?" Liara repeated, her voice growing in volume as her excitement took over. "Yes, that makes sense! The beacons were designed to transmit information directly into the mind of the user! Finding one that still works is extremely rare. No wonder the geth attacked Eden Prime! The chance to acquire a working beacon, even a badly damaged one, is worth any risk."

Shepard removed her hand, folding her arms across her chest again, and Liara could not help admiring the muscles that showed beneath the rolled-up sleeves of her shirt. "But the beacons were only programmed to interact with Prothean physiology," she said, lowering her voice again. Still, she could not manage to tear her eyes away from Shepard. The thought that this strange human held the key to the Prothean extinction seemed impossible, but at the same time, she hoped it was true. "Whatever information you received would have been confused, unclear. I am amazed you were able to make sense of it at all. A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the process. You must be remarkably strong-willed, Commander."

"This isn't helping us find Saren, or the Conduit," Kaidan said, and Liara broke her fixed gaze, immediately embarrassed at having been caught staring by an entire room full of people.

"Of course, you are right," she whispered guiltily. "I am sorry, my scientific curiosity got the better of me. Unfortunately, I do not have any information that could help you find the conduit, or Saren."

Shepard gave her a reassuring smile. "I don't know why Saren wanted you out of the picture, Liara, but I think you'll be a lot better off if we bring you along."

Liara let out a breath as a wave of relief washed over her. She had been desperately hoping that Shepard would offer to let her stay for a little while, particularly after her near-death experience. Strangely, the thought of leaving the human made her chest tighten with feelings she could not identify. "Thank you, Commander," she said, standing up and approaching Shepard. "Saren might come after me again. I cannot think of anywhere safer than here on your ship, and my knowledge of the Protheans might be useful later on."

"And her biotics will come in handy when the fighting starts," a low voice said from behind her. The krogan, Liara knew without even turning around.

"Good to have you on the team, Liara." Shepard smiled, and again, Liara experienced the strange, weightless feeling in her stomach again. This time, it was much stronger, and she wondered if it was something serious instead of just her usual nervousness around strangers.

"Thank you, Commander, I am very gratefu…" Her vision began to blur as her voice trailed off, and for a moment, Liara thought she could see two Shepards overlapping with each other. "Ooh, I am afraid I am feeling a bit lightheaded," she said, gauging the distance between herself and her chair. Perhaps she should sit back down...

"When was the last time you ate? Or slept?" Kaidan asked. Liara turned to look at him, but fared no better with her new target. There were three strange human faces in front of her this time. "Dr. Chakwas should take a look at you."

"It is probably just mental exhaustion, coupled with the shock of discovering the Protheans' true fate," she said dismissively even as her legs began to shake beneath her. The last thing she wanted to do was faint in front of all these people. "I need some time to process all this. Still, it could not hurt to be examined by a medical professional. It will give me the chance to think things over." She sent a pleading glance back at Shepard. "Are we finished here, Commander?"

"We can talk again after you've seen the doctor. The rest of you, dismissed."


	5. Chapter 5

“There you are, my dear. All finished.” Liara looked up just in time to watch Dr. Chakwas, the ship’s medical officer, turn away from the examination table and scrub her hands in the nearby decontamination sink. Dr. Chakwas had been nothing but kind and professional throughout her brief examination, and Liara was relieved that everything had gone so smoothly. Meeting new people always made her nervous, but the doctor’s relaxed attitude helped to put her at ease. 

“Thank you, Doctor,” Liara said, still holding the empty tube of nutrient paste that Chakwas had been kind enough to give her. Even with a taste somewhere on the border between bland and unpleasant, it was far better than an IV, and Liara already felt much better after consuming it. She had burned through most of her calories with her biotics while trying to escape the geth. 

Dr. Chakwas turned back around, throwing her used gloves into the waste bin beside the sink. “No need to thank me. All I did was feed you and patch up a few scrapes.”

Liara instinctively lifted a hand to touch the bruise on her head. Medigel had sealed the light wound, but there was still a small mark that would take a few days to fade. Now, all she needed was a quick shower, and she would be good as new. “I appreciate it nonetheless,” she said. “I am a stranger, and you have treated me with great kindness.”

“I would hope anyone stationed on the Normandy would do the same,” Dr. Chakwas said, taking a seat in the chair at her desk. She spun it around to make sure she had a clear view of Liara. “Are you planning on staying with us for a while, Dr. T’Soni?”

Liara thought about it for a moment. Although she and Shepard had reached something of an agreement, Liara still did not know how long she would be traveling aboard the Normandy, or for what purpose. Her expedition was obviously ruined, and there was no way for her to go back. She heaved a sigh. It hurt to think about all the time, effort, and credits she had wasted on a failed dig. “Commander Shepard has been kind enough to offer me a place on her ship. I think she wishes for me to be a member of her crew.” She swallowed as she remembered Wrex’s offhand comment. “And - and I think she expects me to follow her into combat situations. I suppose my biotic training will have to suffice.”

“Do you know anything about weapons?” Dr. Chakwas asked her. “If you don’t, I’m sure the Commander would be willing to teach you. I have it on good authority that she’s an excellent instructor in firearms, as well as hand-to-hand combat.”

“I’m sure she is,” Liara murmured, remembering the way that Shepard had charged the krogan without a second thought back at the entrance to the mines. It took an incredible amount of bravery and strength to ram into a fully-grown male krogan with nothing but a narrow biotic forcefield as protection. “Perhaps you’re right. If Saren and his geth really are trying to kill me, I need to be prepared to fight. Besides, if Shepard comes across any more Prothean technology, she will need me in the field to study it.”

“That sounds reasonable to me…” Chakwas let her voice trail off as the Omnitool on her wrist buzzed, and she glanced down at the screen. “Instructions from the Commander,” she explained, still scanning the contents of the message. “She wants you to have a comfortable space to yourself on the ship, and suggested the small, empty office just behind the med bay if it’s all right with me.”

Liara smiled with relief. The thought of having a small space to herself sounded very appealing. That way, she could escape if the constant interaction with the crew became too much. “I wouldn’t want to be a bother, but I think that would suit me very well. You don’t mind, do you?”

Dr. Chakwas shook her head. “Of course not. Come on, I’ll show you in. Perhaps you can get settled before the Commander comes to check up on you.”

“Check up on me?” Liara asked. “Do you think she will?”

“I don’t just think she will. I know she will. Commander Shepard is very closely involved with her crew.” Dr. Chakwas stood again, striding to the back of the medical bay and pressing her palm to the touchpad next to the door. Liara had thought it was just a closet until Dr. Chakwas had mentioned the existence of the spare room, and she pushed herself off the examination table to get a better look.

The room was surprisingly spacious given its location, and she made a pleased noise as she noticed a small desk and terminal. Certainly not extravagant, but more than suitable for her needs. “This is perfect,” she said happily, beaming at Dr. Chakwas. “Thank you for allowing me to use it.”

“I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful neighbor,” the doctor said, stepping back out through the door. “Try and sit down for a few more minutes. Your color’s still a little off, if I’m not mistaken. I promise to send the Commander in when she stops by to see you.”

As Liara murmured her thanks, Dr. Chakwas turned and let the door close, leaving her alone with her thoughts. For a moment, she simply stared at the ceiling. Then, she paced in a slow circle around the small room, still thinking. These accommodations were really not so bad. Neither would joining the crew of the Normandy. The idea of fighting more geth was somewhat frightening, but the chance to find more working Prothean technology might finally help prove her theories, dig or no dig. And then, there was Commander Shepard. Her mind had been touched by the beacon, and surely she would provide a wealth of information. Although they had only known each other for several hours, Liara already felt strangely drawn to her.

“She is truly fascinating,” Liara murmured to herself, taking a seat in front of the terminal. The motion was comforting and familiar, even in strange surroundings. It made her feel more at home. “And she is also kind to let me stay on her ship.”

“You aren’t talking about me, are you?” a voice said from behind her, and Liara jumped in surprise, flinching and nearly falling out of her chair. After a moment, she realized it was only Shepard and began to pick herself up, brushing off her pants even though she had not hit the ground. Dr. Chakwas had been kind enough to throw her clothes in the laundry during her examination, so they were mostly clean.

“Oh, Commander… I’m sorry. You startled me. I wasn’t expecting you to drop by for a little while. Are you coming to check up on me?”

Shepard nodded, giving Liara the same open smile that she had used while guiding her through the Normandy. “Yeah. You look much better. How are you feeling, huh?”

Liara felt her cheeks heat up, and she folded her hands behind her back, standing up a little straighter. She wanted to appear confident before Shepard instead of embarrassed and shy if the human was going to allow her to join the rest of the squad. “Dr. Chakwas assures me I am going to be fine,” she said. “I was impressed with her knowledge of asari physiology.”

“You’re in good hands. Dr. Chakwas knows what she’s doing.”

There was a brief moment of silence, and Liara hurried to try and fill it. “I never properly thanked you for saving me from the Geth, Commander. If you hadn’t shown up, I…”

“It’s all right,” Shepard said, picking up where her sentence had trailed off. She folded her arms across her chest, shifting back slightly and studying Liara with obvious curiosity. Although she was a little embarrassed at being scrutinized by a human - having eyes on her in general was normally enough to make Liara nervous - nothing about Shepard’s interest in her seemed threatening. “I’m just glad we got there in time.”

Liara breathed a sigh of relief. “So am I. I know you took a chance bringing me aboard this ship.” She frowned a little, remembering the hostile reception she had received from Ashley Williams. “I have seen the way your crew looks at me,” she said, unwilling to mention the Gunnery Chief’s name directly. “They do not trust me. But I am not like Benezia. I will do whatever I can to help you stop Saren. I promise.”

Shepard gave her another smile, and Liara felt a brief flutter in her stomach that was something other than nervousness. “Don’t worry, Liara. I trust you. I know you won’t let me down. And I’ll talk to the rest of the crew, make sure they know.”

“It means a lot to hear you say that, Commander,” she said. “Thank you.”

“Do you know why Benezia joined up with Saren? I’m not asking because I think you’re involved,” she added quickly. “It just seems out of character based on what I’ve heard about her from other people.”

“I don’t understand it,” Liara admitted. “She was always outspoken about the need for the asari to become more involved in shaping Galactic events. Maybe she thought allying herself with Saren would somehow be for the greater good in the long run. At least, I hope so...” 

Shepard took a step forward, and her hand moved, almost as if she was about to reach out and offer comfort. However, she stopped herself at the last moment. “This hurts you, doesn’t it?” she said softly, giving Liara a sympathetic look.

“None of this makes any sense to me. I have not spoken to Benezia in many years, but this was not like her! Something has changed.” Liara averted her eyes. “It frightens me to think about what it might be. And I cannot help feeling a little guilty.”

“Guilty?” Shepard raised her eyebrows, and Liara’s gaze was instantly drawn to them. They were similar to the natural markings on her own face - a fairly common one among asari - and she wondered if they felt the same as the hair on Shepard’s head. “Why?”

“Perhaps if I had remained closer with her, I would have realized that something was wrong. I could have tried to dissuade her, or asked for help…”

“It’s not your fault, Liara. You didn’t know. But why were you out of touch with her?”

Liara bit her lower lip. “Benezia never really approved of my career choice, although she did nothing to prevent me from following my passions, either. I suppose I just got tired of all the expectations that came with being her daughter, even if they were not entirely of her making.”

 

“But you like it, right?” Shepard asked. “Being an archaeologist?”

“I do, although I’m afraid most people would not find my work very interesting. I spend most of my time on remote digs, unearthing mundane items buried in long-forgotten Prothean ruins.”

“Sounds dangerous. And lonely.”

“Sometimes, I would run afoul of indigenous life-forms or stumble across a small band of mercenaries or privateers, but I was always careful. Until the geth followed me to Artemis Tau, I never found myself in any situation my biotics could not handle.”

“Really?” Shepard said, giving her a quick once-over that included more than just her face. Liara fidgeted, and her blush began to return, spreading past the neck of her shirt. “Think you could bring those biotics into the field? We could always use another member for my squad. I generally take at least two with me on every mission.”

Liara hesitated, then nodded. “Yes. My biotic training was very thorough. However, I might need your help learning how to handle a weapon properly.”

Her answer had Shepard grinning. “I can definitely help with that,” she said. “But we’ll worry about it tomorrow. What else do you like about being an archaeologist?”

“The solitude,” Liara answered instantly. “Sometimes I just need to get away from other people.”

“What? You don’t like other people?” Shepard teased. “Might be a problem on a large ship.”

“I do like people. Sometimes, I just get nervous in social situations. I feel as though everyone is judging me. I suppose it comes from being a matriarch’s daughter. People expected me to follow in Benezia’s footsteps. They wanted me to become a leader of our people. Matriarchs guide their followers into the future. They seek the truth of what is yet to come. Maybe that’s why I became so interested in the secrets of the past.” She paused, wondering why she was confessing some of her deepest thoughts to a near-stranger, but when she looked at Shepard’s face, it seemed as if the human was actually interested in what she had to say. “It sounds so foolish when I say it out loud. It sounds like I became an archaeologist simply to spite Benezia.”

Shepard shrugged. “All children rebel against their parents. It’s a natural part of growing up. I know I did the same thing with my mother, even if I did end up enlisting and following in her footsteps once I got a bit older.”

“Aha. You share the wisdom of the matriarchs, Shepard. That is exactly what Benezia said when I told her of my decision. But there was more to it than that. I felt drawn to the past. The Protheans were these wondrous, mysterious figures I wanted to know everything about them.” Liara took another step forward, unable to resist drawing a little closer. “That is why I find you so fascinating, Shepard. You were touched by working Prothean technology!”

“Sounds like you wanna dissect me in a lab somewhere,” Shepard snorted.”

Liara’s eyes shot open, and she instantly pulled away again. “What? No!” she stammered, resisting the temptation to lift a hand and cover her mouth. Her stomach lurched. “I - I did not mean to insinuate… I never meant to offend you, Shepard! I only meant that you would be an interesting specimen for an in-depth study, uh - no, that’s even worse!”

Then, Shepard did something that surprised her. She reached out, clasping Liara’s shoulder with her hand. “Calm down, Liara. I was only joking again. Guess I need to work on that around you, huh?”

“Joking?” Liara repeated as she processed what Shepard had just said. “Oh, by the Goddess! How could I be so dense?” As Shepard’s fingers trailed down the side of her arm, not breaking contact with her sleeve, Liara reached up to smack her own forehead. “You must think I am a complete and utter fool. Now you know why I prefer to spend my time in the field with data disks and computers. I always seem to say something embarrassing around other people. Please, just pretend this conversation never happened.”

“Well, I actually like talking with you.” Shepard gave Liara’s hand a brief squeeze before stepping back. “And I’d like to do it again. If you don’t mind, of course. I know you said you liked to be alone.”

“Your company makes me a little nervous,” Liara admitted, “but I enjoy it as well. I would… like to talk again.”

The beam that Shepard gave her before saying goodbye and walking out the door had Liara’s stomach in knots for the rest of the evening. It stayed with her as she finally fell into an exhausted, well-deserved sleep on the cot that Dr. Chawkwas had moved to the corner of her new room. Her last thoughts before the darkness took her were about what interesting things she might say to the Commander during her next visit.


	6. Chapter 6

"You need to relax your stance this time…" Liara shivered as Shepard's hands touched her elbows. The Commander's solid chest was already pressed against her back, and even though the compression shirt under her uniform pushed her breasts flat, Liara could feel the slight swell just above her shoulderblades. "There. Now, breathe and shoot."

Liara narrowed her eyes and lifted her pistol, aiming it at the makeshift target in the cargo bay that Shepard had set up. Unfortunately, the Normandy did not have much in the way of firearm training equipment, so they had to make do with a few empty crates and a human-shaped figure pasted on one side. So far, she her training had been mixed. Sometimes, she was successful in hitting the target. Other times, she only hit the crates.

"No, don't narrow your eyes. You want to be able to see the target." Liara widened her eyes again, and they began to sting until she realized that she was forgetting to blink. Hoping she didn't look ridiculous, she allowed Shepard to lift her other hand, positioning it as support beneath the first. The Commander smiled. "There you go. You won't need to do this after a while, and I have to admit, it's impossible if you're shooting and running and ducking behind cover at the same time, but it's a good way to begin."

"All right," Liara said, turning her attention to the paper target. She was slightly embarrassed by her lack of knowledge with firearms, but her biotics had always been enough to prevent anyone from attacking her before. She hoped that she would be able to develop at least a basic proficiency quickly, because she found herself wanting to accompany Shepard on missions. So far, the Commander had left the Normandy twice with a two-person squad to complete small tasks for the Alliance. But apparently those 'small tasks' often involved getting shot at by enemies, so Liara wanted to be prepared.

Shepard pulled back, leaving Liara feeling strangely disappointed at the loss of contact. She grinned, and the fluttering sensation in Liara's stomach returned full-force, making her shake slightly. Then again, it also could have been because she was trying to hold perfectly still. "Okay, give it another try. Pull the trigger and shoot."

Liara pulled the trigger and shot.

There was some mildly unpleasant noise, the splintering of wood, and then several small holes appeared in the paper cutout. "Hey, not bad this time!" Shepard said, clapping her on the shoulder. Liara flinched a little, but found that she did not really mind the rough touch, either. "You hit it."

Liara smiled with satisfaction. She had, indeed, hit the target, although she was surprised by the lack of damage to the crates. "Shouldn't the holes be… bigger?" she asked, lowering the gun, but making sure to keep it pointed in the direction of the crates.

"Nah. I only put in some practice rounds. If you were firing with a real heat sink, it'd do a lot more damage."

"Of course, if you really want to blow a guy's chest open, you need a shotgun," said a familiar voice from behind them.

Liara was rather pleased with herself when she did not startle. Instead, she turned around calmly, switched on the pistol's safety like Shepard had showed her and pointed it towards the floor. "Hello, Chief Williams," she said neutrally. "Is the shotgun your favored weapon, then?"

She was slightly surprised when Ashley's lips curled up in a genuine smile. It was the first one Liara had seen from her. "Hell, yeah. Nothing can stand up to my boomstick, even with armor." Ashley folded her arms across her chest as she examined the paper target and the crates. "A little primitive for target practice, huh, Commander?"

Shepard shrugged. "If it works, it works. I'll take her to a real combat simulator once we swing back to resupply on the Citadel. After that, we need to swing by Feros, see what's going on there with the geth attacks. I'd like to take Liara along if she seems ready." Liara felt a warm glow at Shepard's words. It was nice to be wanted.

"Right, Commander." Ashley glanced at the pistol still held in Liara's hand. "Hey, T'Soni," she said, holding out her palm and wiggling her fingers demandingly. "Give that here." Liara looked to Shepard for permission, but when the Commander nodded yes, she reluctantly handed Ashley the pistol.

Ashley instinctively fell into a shooting stance, taking a few moments to aim at the paper cutout before the pistol fired. Liara pulled slightly closer to Shepard at the noise, even though it wasn't very loud. A few moments later, they were all staring at several small, black holes set neatly in the middle of the target's chest. "And that's how you do it," Ashley said, smirking with some amount of pride as she offered the still-hot pistol to Liara.

"Nice demonstration, Ash," Shepard said, although her words seemed a little strained. "Here, give me that." She took the pistol and popped out the practice heat sink, letting it fall onto the metal floor of the cargo bay. Liara kept staring at Ashley. Although she was not normally prone to frustration when it came to her colleagues - and, in a way, this strange human Marine was her colleague now - she felt a surge of… something… inside of her that called for action. She glanced at the targets. Perhaps...

She extended her hand out with a sharp snap, the flat of her palm facing the crates. Warmth tingled along her arm, and she let out a small sigh as power coursed through her. Now, this was something she knew how to do. She focused the waves of energy she could feel within her mind and body, the subtle vibrations in the air around her, and _tugged_. Purple-blue light surrounded the crates, lifting all of them effortlessly into the air. They scraped against each other as they bobbed up and down, sucked into the singularity field that she had just thrown at them. Then, she brought her hand down sharply, and the crates followed, smashing into pieces on the floor.

Liara remained still until she heard a long, low whistle from beside her. "Damn," Shepard muttered, staring at the pile of splinters and torn paper. It was all that remained of the temporary target. "Think you could repeat that on a live target?"

"Easily," Liara said, feeling incredibly satisfied with herself.

"Then you're definitely on for Feros. I'll keep working with you on the firearms, but… damn."

Liara noticed Ashley staring at her, but to her relief, the human seemed more impressed than annoyed. "Not bad, T'Soni," she said, giving a small nod of approval.

The moment was ruined when the lift dinged and its doors flew open to reveal Wrex's large, plated head. He stepped out into the cargo hold, staring at the pile of broken crates. Then, he glanced at Liara, approaching the small group. "You did this?" he grunted, looking a little surprised. Liara smiled, then nodded without saying a word, surprisingly confident after hearing Shepard's praise. Wrex snorted once, and then reached out, poking the top of Liara's crest. "Did you headbutt it? Your head is kind of squishy, but I guess it could break some crates."

Liara was surprised to feel Wrex touch her, and she took a step backwards, her eyes widening. "No! Oh, um, I mean… No, I did not headbutt anything. I -"

Wrex looked disappointed, but only for a moment. "Singularity, then?"

Liara nodded mutely.

The krogan let out a low, gruff bark of laughter. "Good for you. I've seen your people fight, asari. I'm not afraid of anything, but a squad of asari Huntresses is on the short list of things that make me cautious in battle." He glanced at the crates again. "Do that on a real target next time, and I'll share some of my ryncol with you."

That suggestion made Liara blanch, although she supposed she should be grateful for the offer. Krogan were not well-known for their generosity or friendliness towards strangers, and if Wrex wanted to accept her as part of the crew, it was a good sign.

"I think she'll pass, Wrex," Shepard said, coming to Liara's rescue once again. "That stuff will rot your guts out. But I'll make sure you get the chance to see some of her biotics on a mission."

Wrex gave them a satisfied grunt and turned away, lumbering towards the weapons locker. "Think I'll go up to the mess hall, Skipper," Ashley said, making her excuses as well. "You know, since there are no more targets to shoot." She gave Liara a strange look that was somewhere between mistrust and reluctant approval. Then, she nodded goodbye and headed towards the lift that Wrex had just exited, leaving Liara and Shepard alone.

"Don't worry about her," Shepard said, watching Ashley's retreating form. "She's never worked with aliens before. Still getting used to it."

"Neither have I," Liara said.

"If she keeps needling you, tell me. I'll have a talk with her."

"I am grateful for the offer, Shepard, but I suspect that Chief Williams is the type of person who is only impressed when she has the opportunity to observe someone's skills for herself over a period of time. Perhaps after a few weeks pass and she realizes that I am not going to betray this crew to my mother, or falter if you take me out on a mission, she will begin to accept my presence."

Shepard unfolded her arms, letting them swing loosely at her sides. "You know, I think you have a pretty good read on her, Liara. Give her some time. Meanwhile, you've definitely managed to impress _me_. I'll take you out on my next mission after our trip to the Citadel, see how you handle yourself in a real combat situation. If everything goes smoothly, I'll let you be a part of my squad on Feros. The world is full of old Prothean ruins. You might come in handy for more than just your biotics."

"I look forward to it, Commander."

"Shepard."

The single word made Liara's heart jolt again. She smiled. "Very well then... Shepard."


	7. Chapter 7

“How long do you think she’ll be in there?”

The question surprised Liara, mostly because it was exactly what she had been thinking. She turned to glance at Kaidan Alenko, who was seated at the other end of the luxurious couch where Nelyna, the greeter, had seated them. He was frowning, and his expression was a mixture of impatience and discomfort, a contrast to the comfortable, relaxed attitudes of the other patrons that had come to visit the consort today. They were waiting somewhat unhappily for Shepard, who had gone up to tell Sha’ira that her problem with Septimus Oraka was now resolved. The consort had turned them away at the door, insisting that she wanted to meet with Shepard in private this time.

“I am not sure,” Liara said after a long pause. She glanced around the room, watching the various acolytes move to speak with their assigned customers. She could not quite put her finger on why the atmosphere of this place bothered her. Perhaps it was simply because there were so many people conversing all around her in a relatively small space, or perhaps it was the fact that Shepard was no longer with them. Over the past few weeks, Liara had discovered that she always found a certain measure of comfort in the Commander’s presence.

When Liara realized that Kaidan was still staring at her, waiting for her to say something more, she blushed and looked away from him. “I am sure she will not be very much longer.” 

Honestly, she had been on-edge ever since Shepard’s first visit to Sha’ira’s chambers. She and Kaidan had been permitted to stand back and observe Shepard’s meeting with the consort, but part of Liara wished they hadn’t. Her presence had almost felt like an intrusion on a private moment. Something about the way Sha’ira stood too close to Shepard as she spoke, even reaching up to brush aside a lock of her red hair, made Liara extremely uncomfortable, although she could not quite articulate why.

Kaidan shifted restlessly on the couch, looking just as uncomfortable as she felt. That soothed some of Liara’s nerves. At least she wasn’t the only one. “Hey, do you want to go look at the statue outside? I’ve gotta get out of here, or I’ll go stir-crazy.”

It took Liara a moment to process what Kaidan had said, but then she remembered the large krogan statue in the Presidium’s lake. “Very well,” she said, standing up and brushing the wrinkles from her pants. “I think that might be a more pleasant way to pass the time.” Kaidan stood up alongside her, and together, they walked towards the door. Once they reached Nelyna, Kaidan murmured a few brief instructions to her so that Shepard would know where to find them once she was finished with Sha’ira. Then, they stepped back out into the Presidium.

Liara had never been to the Citadel before, and upon her arrival, she had been slightly overwhelmed. There were so many people, and bright lights illuminated everything, at least on the upper levels. She had been adjusting to it slowly over the past several hours, although she still took a sidestep that was wider than necessary to avoid a group of turian C-Sec officers passing by over one of the bridges. 

Finally, they arrived at the edge of the water, and Kaidan leaned against the railing, staring out at the large statue on its pedestal in the water. Hesitantly, Liara joined him. She had not formed much of an opinion on the silent, neutral Kaidan Alenko so far, although he seemed pleasant enough. She had noticed that, like her, Kaidan prefered to spend as much time in the company of Commander Shepard as possible. However, she had not yet heard the human call Shepard by her first name. Secretly, that made Liara happy.

When she realized that she was studying Kaidan instead of the statue, Liara looked out over the lake to observe the monument instead. Although the face of the krogan looked rather angry, she supposed that wasn’t entirely out of character. “I have read about this piece,” she said, trying to make conversation and hoping she would not fail miserably. “After the Krogan Rebellions, there were many petitions to remove it from the lake. The Council rejected them.”

“I think that was the right choice,” Kaidan said, turning his head casually to look at her. “You need to remember everything about history, good and bad, even if it doesn’t fit with your personal views.”

Liara smiled. “I could not agree more. Unfortunately, there is no completely unbiased way to view history, although scholars have struggled to take a neutral stance since there was history to record.”

Kaidan was silent for a while, staring down into the water instead of out at the statue. “Have to admit, going on missions with Wrex has improved my opinion of the krogan. He’s a bit rough around the edges, but a good squadmate. I trust him to watch my back if someone’s shooting at it.”

“That is good to know,” Liara said. “I am afraid I don’t have much experience with krogan… or humans, to tell you the truth.”

“You seem to be getting along with the Commander just fine,” Kaidan said, although his tone was a little abrupt. For a moment, Liara wondered why, but before she could pause to consider the problem further, a voice called out from behind them.

“Liara!” Liara whirled around, her face breaking into a warm smile as she saw Shepard striding towards them. “Alenko! There you are. Why didn’t you just stay downstairs? It’s probably more comfortable than out here…”

“Dr. T’Soni was just telling me a little about the statue, Commander,” Kaidan said, folding his hands behind his back and straightening his spine as Shepard stopped in front of them. “And it was getting kind of crowded in there.”

Liara was only half-listening to Kaidan’s explanation. Instead, her attention was focused on Shepard. She did not look the same as she had when entering Sha’ira’s quarters. Her hair was mussed, sticking up at strange angles, almost as if fingers had been running through it. The points of her freckled cheeks were also flushed, and she was grinning wider than usual. Liara felt her stomach drop to her boots. Although she was no particularly fluent in social interaction, she was very observant. It did not take a particularly astute person to realize why Shepard had taken so long.

“Sorry about the wait,” Shepard said, although she didn’t sound truly apologetic. “Come on, let’s go meet the others at Chora’s Den. They should be waiting for us there by now.”

Liara sighed. She did not want to go back to Chora’s Den at all. There were far too many people, the music was too loud, and the atmosphere was even more unpleasant than the consort’s chambers. She knew that she would feel extremely out of place there, especially since most of the other asari in the club would be working the poles above the bar. Although she was aware of the misconceptions other species had about asari, she had never seen the stereotypes presented so blatantly before.

Reluctantly, Liara and Kaidan followed Shepard towards the nearest Rapid Transit terminal. Liara could not help observing Shepard’s large, square hands and the dexterity of her fingers as the Commander punched in their destination. Something about them was strangely compelling, and she felt slightly sick as she imagined them touching Sha’ira, stroking the side of the consort’s face much as she had stroked Shepard’s before, trailing down the slender column of her throat, then - … Fortunately, their cab arrived, and Liara’s thoughts broke off just in time. She did not want to imagine any further.

“So, what did the Consort want with you?” Kaidan asked as the cab arrived, its door sliding up and open. Hurriedly, Liara slid into the cab first, taking the far seat next to the window. Shepard took the middle space, with Kaidan following to sit on her other side.

Shepard shrugged dismissively. “She gave me a few things,” she said. “A trinket… don’t know what for… but she said I might need it in the future. She also offered me ‘a gift of words’.”

Liara’s eyes widened in surprise. “A gift of words? That is a rare treasure indeed, Shepard. The consort does not offer her wisdom lightly.” She ended the statement there, trying not to consider what else Sha’ira might have offered Shepard in the privacy of her chambers. 

Shepard turned to look at her in the back seat of the cab, and as she did, Liara felt their thighs brush. For a moment, she forgot to take in air. “I didn’t really understand it, but she seemed to… I don’t know… read me or something. She knew about my past, although that isn’t unusual. An extranet search would have told her that. But there was more. It was like she could sense my emotions. I guess it was a bit like seeing a shrink.”

“Shrink?” Liara repeated, her brow furrowing in confusion.

“Psychologist,” Kaidan explained. “So, that was it, Commander? Nothing else interesting happened?”

Liara turned her attention back out the window, wondering why Kaidan was so insistent on pressing Shepard for details. She certainly did not want them. Perhaps… perhaps she had been oblivious, and Kaidan knew the Commander better than she thought. If they had some sort of understanding, his irritated behavior and intrusive questions would make sense. She stared down into her lap, twisting her hands together and trying to avoid looking at Shepard and Kaidan. She had thought… She wasn’t sure what she had thought. It was rather embarrassing to contemplate. Suddenly, she thought she understood how the turian general, Oraka, had felt when Sha’ira politely brushed aside his feelings.

“Nothing I feel like sharing,” Shepard said neutrally as the cab came to a stop. “Come on, we’re here. Let’s go find the others and have a drink before we get back to the Normandy.”


	8. Chapter 8

A week later, Liara desperately wished that they had spent more time on the Citadel, however unpleasant it was. Even Flux was better than this, and she could have used the extra practice at the shooting range.

Dust from the battlefield blurred her vision. Her muscles burned from constant running. The high speed winds buffeted her whenever she moved, and she always seemed to be charging into them instead of away from them. She gasped constantly for air, but every breath was toxic, even filtered through her helmet. The planet was hazardous, and Liara supposed that was why the pirates had chosen to hide there.

The pirates. Of course, the first mission Shepard had elected to bring her on had to do with pirates, not unlike the mercenaries that had tried to kill her on Therum. The first wave of ground forces even contained a krogan, which Shepard charged without a second thought. At least there were no geth with them this time, Liara thought as she stayed several yards behind the rest of the squad. 

She had found that her best strategy was to hang back, tossing out lifts and singularities as quickly and accurately as she could while trying not to get shot. The others usually took care of the helplessly dangling targets before she even had to lift her pistol. Unfortunately, that meant she had to sprint towards the rest of the group once all of their enemies were incapacitated, exhausting herself by the time the next wave came. Honestly, Liara doubted she would be able to stand after this was all over. Shepard would have to carry her back to the Mako. Finally, after Liara thought she couldn’t stand another moment in the toxic winds and pressurized atmosphere, they arrived at the door to the pirates’ stronghold.

“Everyone, inside!” Shepard hollered, waving her arm above her head in a forward motion to make her meaning clear. Liara squinted, swiped at her visor with her equally dirty glove, and heaved a ragged sigh as she began running yet again. She really needed to improve her cardiovascular endurance if this was what a typical mission with Shepard would be like. No wonder the human was so muscular, if this was what she did every few days.

“I’ve almost got the door,” she arrived in time to hear the quarian - Tali - say as she fiddled with the security system. Watching her fight had been fascinating, although Liara hadn’t been able to observe her for long. She could send shocks through her enemies, disable their machines, and even program her drone to defend them. It had saved Liara a few minutes earlier, and she thought she had heard Tali shout encouragement to it over the sounds of gunfire and wind. “There! Unlocked.”

“Stay close,” Shepard said. “We don’t know what we’re going to find in there. Wrex, I want you on my left. Tali, right. I’m on point. Liara, behind us. If you lift them up, we’ll tear them apart. Just keep doing exactly what you’re doing. ” 

It wasn’t exactly praise, but Liara decided to take it as such, smiling beneath her helmet as Shepard slammed her fist into the pressure pad next to the door. It slid open, and then she was forced to run inside after the rest of the squad. Shepard was gone in a flash of blue, setting her sights on yet another pirate, and Wrex thundered after her with a battle cry that made Liara shudder. She was relieved that the giant krogan was on her side, because if she had seen Wrex barreling towards her like that with his weapon drawn, she probably would have fainted before he reached her.

Directly in front of the door was a slightly curved wall, and Liara ducked behind it, unwilling to abandon cover. She saw Tali do the same on the opposite side, punching furiously at the Omnitool on her fist. The small drone whirred and opened fire as it floated towards the pirates. Then, there was a loud shout, and Shepard fell back, her shields flickering as she stumbled over the corpse of the pirate she had just crushed. “Sniper, left balcony!” she barked, letting Wrex stand in front of her and using his giant body as cover. “Take it out, Tali!”

“Can’t, Shepard! I’m in trouble!” Tali yelled from behind the opposite wall. Frantically, Liara turned towards her just in time to see an asari closing in on her position, covering her advance with timed shots from her assault rifle. Realizing she was cornered, Tali tried to duck further behind the wall, but the asari raised her fists, pushing a surge of crackling blue energy directly towards her. The force of the throw sent Tali flying into the wall, and she slid down towards the floor, still and unmoving.

“Oh Goddess,” Liara murmured as she summoned a burst of her flagging energy. With a gesture of her arm, she sent a lift spinning towards the asari, trying to knock her off course before she could reach Tali and finish what she had started. The attack missed, and the asari only stumbled backwards. She rounded on Liara instead, light flaring around her as she summoned her biotics for another attack.

Liara acted on instinct. She stepped out from behind the wall, feeling for the network of energy that always existed around her, and gave a sharp tug. Her hand snapped out, and rippling white light exploded in front of her palm, shooting directly into the asari’s chest and knocking the assault rifle from her hands. 

That stopped her. She fell to her knees, swaying dangerously, and then collapsed onto the ground, the front of her sleek black armor punched in from the force of the warp. This time, Liara withdrew her pistol. Her hand shook, but she fired several times into the back of the asari’s head, aiming for just below her crest. She jerked, then went still.

“Shepard, I got the sniper! You’re clear!” Wrex shouted as Liara stared down at the gun in her hand, then at the growing pool of purple blood on the floor beneath her. She had killed someone. Actually killed someone. Granted, it was a pirate who had been trying to kill her, but still. She had ended a life. Before, the others had always taken the final shot after she lifted the enemies into the air. But this time…

The gunfire around them cut out, and Liara heard rapid footsteps approaching her from both sides. A large hand clapped her on the back, nearly sending her sprawling, and she heard Wrex let out a pleased grunt of approval. “Was that your first kill, asari? Not bad! Just one warp to the chest!”

Liara tried to summon up a ‘thank you,’ but she was still shaking, unable to look away from the dead body in front of her. Her head was twisted at an unnatural angle. The force her warp must have snapped the pirate’s neck, too.

“Thanks, Liara,” Tali said as she picked herself up from the ground, seemingly none the worse after her trip through the air. Unlike Wrex, she appeared to realize that Liara was shaken by her experience. “She probably would have killed me if she got in another attack while I was down.”

“I did not - I mean…” 

Liara took an unsteady step backwards, away from the dead pirate, and found herself colliding with a solid chest. Shepard. There was no one else it could be. Large, strong hands gripped her upper arms, holding her in place until she stopped trembling. “Hey,” Shepard said, and for some reason, the sound of her voice made Liara’s breathing ease. “Are you okay? We need to keep going. There might be more enemies upstairs. If you want, I’ll leave Wrex with you and take Tali to do a sweep…”

The thought of disappointing Shepard was more frightening than facing more pirates. Liara shook her head, stepping reluctantly out of Shepard’s embrace. She turned to face the Commander and took a deep breath. “No, I am fine. I can keep going.”

“Are you sure?” There was a pause, and Liara could tell that Shepard was scrutinizing her, trying to see if she was telling the truth. “I won’t be disappointed in you if you need a minute to recover.”

“Yes,” Liara said, even though the answer was no. She was tired, exhausted, and shocked by the fact that she had actually killed someone, but she couldn’t break down. Not here, and not in front of Shepard. With steadier hands, she gripped her pistol tighter and popped the heat sink, just the way Shepard had showed her in the cargo hold of the Normandy, and then again on the Citadel. “I am ready to go.”

“Good!” Wrex bellowed, obviously pleased with her answer. “We’ll make a fighter of you yet.” They headed towards the lone staircase leading up to the second floor, and Liara’s spirits lifted slightly when Shepard’s hand brushed the side of her arm. Even through the sleeve of her protective jacket, it made her skin burn.

The second floor had only one room, and Liara watched as Shepard immediately went for the medical kit hanging on one wall. “Here,” she said, opening the door of the white metal box and looking at Tali. “Do you need this?”

“No,” the quarian said. “My pride and my backside might be bruised, but otherwise, I’m fine. I could use a refill on my medigel, though.

“Grab one, then,” Shepard said, leaving the way clear for Tali and striding over towards the desk tucked into one corner of the room. She picked up one of the datapads and began scanning the text, and Liara could see the expression on her face darken beneath her visor. “Well, fuck me. You know the kidnapped sister we’re supposed to be looking for? I think Liara just killed her.”

Liara’s eyes flew open, and she took a step back, wringing her hands nervously. “I - I killed the woman we were supposed to be rescuing?” she blurted out. The nausea that had nearly overwhelmed her before returned full-force. Suddenly, she felt dizzy. “Oh, Goddess, I had no idea… I ruined -”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Shepard said, activating her Omnitool to sync it with the datapad. “That asari was trying to kill us. You did what you had to do as a part of my squad. Next time I go back to the Citadel, Nassana Dantius and I are going to have a little talk. And you...” Shepard turned towards her, and this time, her lips pulled into a smile. Liara swallowed thickly. Guilt still churned in her stomach, but Shepard’s obvious approval of her actions helped calm her racing heart. “You’re going with me on my next mission to Feros. I think you’re ready.”


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, Liara stared blankly at the flickering screen of her terminal. She had not been able to sleep the night before, and the ache of exhaustion throbbed through every muscle of her body. All of the running yesterday probably had something to do with it. Yesterday… when she had killed someone for the first time.

In some moments, it did not bother her at all. In others, she wondered if it was a dream. Perhaps she was still back on Therum, hallucinating because of dehydration. Or maybe that had all been a part of the dream as well, and she was actually asleep on Thessia, having one of her frequent nightmares. But surely someone like Commander Shepard would not appear in her nightmares.

After Liara convinced herself that the mission had been a very real, she cried instead. Sometimes for the asari slaver, and sometimes for herself. Shepard had shown her the datapad in the Mako, probably to make her feel better. It had helped a little. At least, Liara thought when she felt weak, she had killed a lying slaver instead of someone innocent. But who was she to make that determination? To choose who was worthy of death, and who wasn't? There were no answers to those questions.

Liara was just about to leave the safe isolation of her room and ask Dr. Chakwas if she had any suitable sleeping aids when the door opened. The light streaming in from the medbay cast the standard figure in silhouette, but Liara recognized Shepard immediately. She smiled despite her tiredness. "Hello, Commander. Did you come to check up on me again?"

The doors closed, and Liara could see Shepard more clearly in the faint glow of her terminal. "Of course. I was worried about you."

Instead of making Liara feel better, Shepard's words only made her nervous. Although it was nice to think that the Commander was worried about her, she did not want Shepard's impression of her to change for the worse. She stood up, folding her hands behind her back in something of a military pose, just as she had watched Shepard do countless times over the past several weeks. "I appreciate your concern for me, Commander, but I assure you, I am fine."

"You don't need to be 'fine' after killing someone for the first time, Liara," Shepard said, taking a few steps forward. "I've killed a lot of people over the years. It's good to revisit that feeling of doubt and regret once in a while. Keeps you human. Or, well, asari in your case."

Liara tugged at her lower lip with her teeth, although she kept her shoulders pulled back and her spine straight. "But the mission..." Her voice trailed off, and for a moment, she had no idea what to say.

Thankfully, Shepard responded to her unfinished thought. "As long as you can keep your focus in combat, you'll be fine. And from what I've seen, you can."

Liara let out an audible sigh of relief as the tight ball of tension in her chest finally began to break apart, allowing her to breathe again. Some of her exhaustion faded, and she realized that it had been mental as well as physical. "Thank you, Commander. I feel better now."

Shepard gave a disapproving click of her tongue. "That's the third time you've called me Commander instead of Shepard. It's fine in the field, but for these talks, I'd prefer Shepard."

Warmth crept up Liara's neck, spreading across her face, and she let her hands fall to her sides again. "So, these talks are going to become a regular occurrence?" she asked hopefully.

"I hope so. I like talking with you, Liara."

"I enjoy talking with you as well, Shepard. What would you like to discuss?" Liara winced as soon as the question came out, disappointed at how stilted the request sounded.

Fortunately, Shepard seemed a little unsure as well. "I don't know. You're the first asari I've met. Well… not the first asari I've met. But the first one I've actually gotten to know. The first asari to become a friend. You get what I mean, right?"

Liara's stomach fluttered again at the prospect of being Shepard's friend. The idea was exciting, although she had very little experience with friendship to draw upon. "You are the first human to become my friend as well, Shepard," she said, deciding that if Shepard considered them friends, then so would she. But a memory niggled at her, and she could not help adding, "Although you seemed to get along very well with the Consort during your visit."

Shepard cleared her throat. "Well, maybe. But two meetings don't exactly make a friend. I doubt I'll be seeing her again any time soon." Liara did not even bother to question the wave of relief she felt. She was beginning to understand why the thought of Shepard spending more time with the Consort bothered her, and why simply being near the Commander made her heart rate spike and her stomach flutter.

But now wasn't the time to sort through her feelings. She could do that later, when she was alone again. Instead, she refocused her attention on Shepard and changed the subject. "You seem to be very good at making friends with other species. I have never been aboard a military vessel before, but I imagine that most of them are not as diverse as the Normandy."

"Maybe they should be," Shepard said, crossing over to Liara's desk and perching on the edge, supporting her weight on the heels of both palms. Following her lead, Liara took a seat back in the chair in front of her monitor, wanting to stay close to Shepard. "This squad is the best I've ever had. Everyone brings something important to the table. Once we track down Saren, I'm going to try and convince the Council and the Alliance to fund more joint-species ventures. Even if they're only half as successful as the Normandy, the galaxy will be a lot better off."

Liara sat forward in her chair, unable to look away from Shepard's face. She was radiating excitement, and Liara felt a powerful pull towards her. Perhaps this was part of the reason Shepard was able to convince so many different people to join her cause. "It is very refreshing to hear such words from a human, Shepard. Your attitude reminds me of the asari. My people believe we are all part of a single galactic community. Each species contributes something to the greater whole." She paused, lowering her head slightly, although she still could not turn away from Shepard. "Although we seek to understand other species, it seems few of them seek to understand us. The galaxy is filled with rumors and misinformation about my people."

"Like what?"

Liara hoped that her blush was not too obvious in the dim light. "Most of the inaccuracies are centered around our mating rituals. My species is monogendered. Male and female have no real meaning for us."

"Does it bother you that other species usually read you as female?" Shepard asked, sliding back further onto the desk and resting her hands on her thighs. "I mean, it's certainly how you come across to me. But if it bothers you…"

"No, of course not. Most aliens see us that way."

Shepard smiled, and Liara's stomach fluttered again. "Good. Because I prefer thinking of asari as female, even though I know they really aren't.

"Why?" Liara asked, watching Shepard closely. She was strangely fascinated with the way the human's hair fell around her face. Her old desire to touch it resurfaced, and she folded her hands tightly in her lap. "I know some species occasionally feel uncomfortable when their gender binary is challenged…"

To her surprise, Shepard laughed. "It's nothing that complicated, I promise. It's just that I'm a lesbian. The existence of an entire species of beautiful women increases my chances."

Liara frowned as she tried to analyze Shepard's strange explanation. She had assumed that Shepard was attracted to asari because of Sha'ira, but she had no idea what 'lesbian' meant. "I'm sorry, I don't understand…"

"It means I'm attracted to human women instead of men," Shepard said, immediately picking up on Liara's unspoken question. "And asari," she added a moment later. "I know you aren't female the way humans use the term, but you read that way to me."

"When you use the word 'you'..." Liara began, her voice softer than she had intended and a little tight from nerves. She shifted an inch further back in her chair. "Do you mean my species, or do you mean me?"

Shepard shrugged. "Both. It isn't strange to you, is it? The idea of two women being together? It's not exactly common for humans."

"Of course not," Liara said quickly, crossing her legs as she leaned back in the chair and finally pulling her hands apart. They were relaxed now, and most of her nervousness had faded away. "In fact, I might understand better than you think. Matriarch Benezia's partner - my father, if you want to use that term - was another asari."

A small line appeared in the center of Shepard's forehead, and Liara was struck with the sudden impulse to smooth it away with her thumb. "But if your species is technically monogendered, why does it matter?"

"Union with our own kind is no longer... common. Not for the purposes of reproduction, anyway. Most asari believe it weakens our species." Liara hesitated, wondering how much she should share. Shepard would understand, she decided. The human had shown her nothing but kindness and empathy so far. "I am what is sometimes called a 'pureblood', though no asari would ever be cruel enough to say the word to my face. It is a great insult among my people."

"Really? No asari would ever be cruel enough?" Shepard asked doubtfully.

Liara stared down at her lap and sighed. "You're right, Shepard. Many of them were cruel enough. School was… difficult for me, especially since I had no idea who my father was. I never got to meet her. It is possible she was embarrassed by her union with Benezia. She may have been too ashamed to publicly acknowledge me as her offspring."

Suddenly, Liara felt warmth cover her hands. Even though she was staring down into her lap, it took her a moment to realize that Shepard had reached out, folding her fingers in the warmth of her square palms. "Maybe she wanted to meet you but couldn't. Something could have happened to her. Maybe she passed away."

Liara looked at their joined hands a little longer before smiling up at Shepard. "You might be right. I hope you are, but I have no way to know for sure. Benezia never spoke of her partner. Whatever happened, it caused her too much pain to dwell on it. She raised me by herself, though that is not uncommon."

"And now she's with Saren, and we don't know why. That must be hard for you."

"It is… but I hope that by joining your crew, I will be able to help her."

"I'm sure you will -" Shepard began, but she was interrupted by a loud buzzing at her wrist. Liara could feel the vibrations through their joined fingers, and she pulled her hand back reluctantly, standing up from her seat.

"Go ahead, Shepard. I'm sure it's important…"

"To be continued," Shepard said, pushing off the desk in one smooth motion and heading towards the door. "Tomorrow, in the cargo hold. I want your shooting skills in top shape for Feros. We're only a few days out now."

A smile spread across Liara's face even though Shepard was leaving. "You still want me to come with you?" she asked, praying that the Commander would say yes.

"After what I saw on your first mission? Definitely. You're ready."


	10. Chapter 10

“Do most of Shepard’s missions take place in frightening, badly-illuminated tunnels?” Liara asked Garrus Vakarian as she popped the heat sink in her pistol. They were currently climbing up a narrow set of stairs, and the faint light around them glowed an eerie shade of red. Shepard was a few paces ahead of them, taking point while they watched the steps below.

Garrus nodded, and his mandibles vibrated with amusement. “More often than not, yeah,” he said, checking the scope of his rifle. Apparently, he was satisfied with what he saw, because he continued on after Shepard without adjusting it. “She has a knack for getting her squad in tight spots, and hauling all our asses out of the fire at the last minute.”

So far, the mission on Feros had not gone as smoothly as Liara could have hoped, but they had not been in any truly tight spots yet. There were the geth, of course, crawling above and below Zhu’s Hope, and the varren, prowling around stagnant pools of water that gathered deep beneath the tunnels. Then, there were the colonists. The most polite word that Liara could use to describe them was ‘mistrustful’, and for some of them, that was being overly generous. Still, the human woman with the pulled-back hair had been grateful when they returned to tell her that the water had been turned back on. The others had not been much better than the insane, tortured madman they had discovered next to the last broken water valve. None of Shepard’s entreaties had convinced him to return with them.

But, sadly, those were not the worst of the past day’s trials.

“I am just relieved that we are no longer riding in the Mako,” Liara admitted softly, making sure to keep her voice low so that Shepard would not be able to hear her. That had been the scariest part, in her personal opinion. The constant jolting whenever Shepard gunned the engine, the screaming of the brakes while they careened beside treacherous ledges, and the sickening thuds as Shepard ran over her targets instead of shooting them blurred together into sheer terror, where death could come at any moment.

That got a laugh from Garrus, and Liara felt slightly better about nearly vomiting all over her own lap. Apparently, she was not the only one who thought Shepard’s skills in the Mako were questionable. “She’s an awful driver, but she has her uses.”

“What’s that, Vakarian?” Shepard said, slowing her pace so that she could listen in on their conversation. “I thought I felt my ears burning.”

Liara’s eyes widened, and she glanced frantically at Shepard’s ears, which were covered beneath short, choppy strands of red hair. “What? Why!” To her surprise, Shepard laughed, and Liara began to blush. “Oh. Another joke…”

“Human saying,” Shepard explained. “Not a joke. I know better than to tease you now. It just means I could tell you were talking about me.”

“Well,” Liara said, slightly embarrassed that Shepard had overheard them, “Garrus did say that you had your uses…”

Shepard stopped on the stairway, switching out her pistol for her shotgun. She liked to carry both, but Liara had noticed that the shotgun was better for right after the Commander’s biotic charges. “Oh, I do. Like helping damsels in distress.”

Liara noticed the pointed look that Shepard gave her and cleared her throat. “Damsels in distress?”

“Beautiful women in need of my timely assistance,” Shepard clarified. “Like our new friend Lizbeth, for example… or you on Therum.”

“Hopefully, that was a one-time occurrence,” Liara said, following Shepard as she continued up the staircase, “because I have no desire to be in distress aga- mmf!” Suddenly, a warm glove covered her mouth, cutting off the rest of her sentence. Liara swallowed a squeak of surprise, and when Shepard finally removed her fingers, she remained silent. She followed the motion of Shepard’s other hand, which was gesturing up around a bend in the stairs. Although she could not see anything, Liara picked up the sound of a low, irritated voice.

“Stupid machine! Access - … No! I don’t want to review protocol!”

As whoever it was continued shouting, Liara crept up the stairs behind Shepard. Finally, they reached the top, and all three of them took cover just outside the doorway to a small room. Liara did a double take as she saw the source of the glowing red light coming from within. It was a holographic figure, human in appearance, and standing in front of it was an angry-looking krogan, almost as large as the one that had tried to kill her back on Therum. 

“I am unable to comply,” the hologram said in a smooth monotone. “Please contact your supervisor.”

“Damn it!” the krogan roared, thrusting out his chest in challenge, “tell me what I want or I’ll blast your virtual ass into actual dust!”

“Please contact your supervisor for a Level 4 security exemption, or make an appointment with -”

“Stupid machine!” 

The krogan aimed its assault rifle at the hologram, but its features remained frozen in a placid expression. “If there is nothing else, please step aside. There is a queue forming behind you for the use of this console.”

Suddenly, the krogan whirled around to face them, and Liara stepped out from cover, lifting her arms and letting biotic ripples flow from her hands. During the course of the mission, she and Shepard had fallen into a routine: she lifted, and Shepard charged. They did it again now, and Liara felt a sense of pride as she watched the giant shape of the krogan float up into the air, dangling helplessly as Shepard sped forward in a blur of blue. There was an explosion, and the body fell limp. Liara tried not to look at it as she approached the hologram a step behind Shepard and Garrus. Although she was becoming accustomed to destroying the mindless geth, killing organic beings still made her slightly sick to her stomach. Even a krogan could cause her to react, it seemed.

“ExoGeni Corporation reminds all staff that the discharging of weapons while on company property is strictly forbidden,” the hologram said as Shepard stood in front of it. “Welcome back, Research Assistant Lizbeth Baynham. What can I do for you?”

Shepard frowned. “Uh, how do you know I’m Lizbeth?”

“Your access card identifies you as Lizbeth Baynham. Is there something you require, Dr. Baynham?”

“What information was the last user attempting to access?”

The hologram paused, its eyes scanning to the side. “Fetching data. The previous user was attempting to access details on the study of Subject Species 37, the Thorian.”

“Tell me everything you told the krogan.”

“I was unable to provide the previous user with any relevant data. Aside from lacking proper access, there has been no new data available on Species 37. All sensors monitoring the observation post at Zhu’s Hope have been inactive for several cycles.”

Liara’s stomach dropped at the mention of Zhu’s Hope. “‘Observation post’ and ‘monitoring sensors’ do not sound promising,” she whispered to Shepard. 

“Yeah,” Shepard said, “especially considering we’re in a creepy abandoned lab.” She turned back to the hologram. “What does Zhu’s Hope have to do with the Thorian?”

“Species 37 is located within the substructure of the Zhu’s Hope outpost.”

“This is what Saren wants,” Garrus insisted. “We’ve got to be getting close.”

Shepard made a noise of agreement before speaking to the hologram again. “Tell me everything you know about the Thorian.”

“The Thorian is a simple plant life form that exhibits a sentient behavior uncommon with other flora. Through dispersion and the eventual inhalation of spores, it can affect and control other organisms, including humans. The Zhu’s Hope control group has yielded interesting results. Before sensors went offline, almost eighty five percent of all test subjects were infected.”

“Are you saying ExoGeni knew its people were getting infected?” Shepard said, raising her voice slightly with suppressed anger.

“It was deemed necessary to assess the true potential of Species 37.”

Liara stared at the toes of her combat boots for several long moments as she digested the new information. Pieces were coming together again, and she felt a strange mix of exhilaration and dread as they fell into place. “That explains their strange behavior. The Thorian is influencing the colonists. And if Saren knows about it, that means…” Desperately, she reached out and gripped Shepard’s elbow. “Ask the hologram if the Thorian can influence asari as well. Ask it if -”

“I’ll ask,” Shepard said. She did not remove Liara’s hand from her arm. “Can the Thorian’s spores influence asari, too?”

“I’m sorry. The only available data concerns human test subjects.”

“I suppose it was worth a try,” Liara said, swallowing a thick knot of disappointment that had lodged itself in her throat. Despite her strained relationship with her mother, she felt the need to latch on to any excuse for her recent behavior, no matter how flimsy or far-fetched. And mind-controlling plants definitely fell into the ‘far-fetched’ category.

“Benezia?” Shepard asked.

“It would explain her recent behavior…” Liara’s voice trailed off uncertainly, and she bit her lower lip. She did not know what she wanted to believe. The thought of Benezia as Saren’s puppet was only slightly less terrifying than the thought of Benezia joining his cause willingly. “But perhaps I am overly optimistic, thinking that Saren has found some way to control her.”

To Liara’s surprise, Shepard gripped her fingers briefly before moving them off and freeing her arm. “If you believe it, I believe it, Liara - whether it’s the Thorian, or something else. We’ve got to learn everything we can about this thing.”

“We might not have time for that, Shepard,” Garrus interrupted. “You should contact Joker. We need to get over to Zhu’s Hope as fast as possible.”

Shepard lifted a palm to her ear, activating her implant. “Joker! Come in, Joker! Damn it… that field’s still blocking us!”

Liara lifted her pistol, tightening her grip on its handle. If there was any chance that finding the Thorian would lead to answers, she was more than ready to face it. “Then we must find a way to Zhu’s Hope.”


	11. Chapter 11

Finding their way back to Zhu’s Hope, and the Thorian, was more difficult than anticipated. 

First, Ethan Jeong nearly shot them before they could get to the colony. Only Shepard’s impressive diplomatic skills had prevented him from firing. Then, the geth almost destroyed what was left of the battered, charred Mako out on the skyway. Liara could only close her eyes and try not to throw up while Garrus muttered sulkily about all the time he would undoubtedly spend fixing the vehicle once they got back on the Normandy. Honestly, Liara was not sure she wanted the Mako repaired at all if Shepard was going to make her ride in it again.

Their welcome back at Zhu’s Hope was even more unpleasant this time around. The entire place was full of strange, possessed things with sickly green skin. Liara screamed when the first one splattered into goo after a few rounds from Shepard’s shotgun. “What, don’t you know the first rule of zombies?” Shepard had asked, trying to make her feel better. “Shotgun to the chest. Double tap. Guess it’s a human thing.” 

Still, at least the green creatures were not human, and Liara had no mixed feelings about killing them. Thankfully, Shepard decided to spare the possessed colonists, and her aim with the paralyzing grenades was much more accurate than her driving.

Liara was relieved when the area was finally clear enough for them to descend into the tunnels. Surely the Thorian could not be as much of a headache as incapacitating sixteen violent colonists without killing them.

“All right,” she said as they reached the bottom of the decaying staircase, stepping out into a large, dimly lit space. “We just need to find this creature and determine what - what it…” Her voice trailed off as she stared up at the large, towering thing that dominated the center of the tunnel. It was a plant, but it seemed to breathe, its gigantic body shuddering as it exhaled. The smell of wet, damp, and rot assaulted her nose. Something wet and unpleasant dripped from its hanging, writhing tentacles, spattering onto the uneven floor. “That is… disturbing.”

“That doesn’t look like any plant I’ve ever seen,” Shepard muttered from a pace ahead. Obviously, she was just as disturbed by the sight of the Thorian. “This may be… problematic.”

Suddenly, the Thorian began to quiver. There was a sickening squelching sound, and its tentacles began to part as liquid burst from some kind of opening in its huge, bulbous body. Something slimy dropped out from underneath it, falling to the floor. At first, Liara thought it was another of the green things, but when it straightened, she saw its crest, the markings on its face. It was another asari, almost familiar…

“Invaders!” it shouted, glaring at them. Her skin glistened with moisture. “Your every step is a transgression. A thousand feelers appraise you as meat, good only to dig or decompose. I speak for the old growth as I did for Saren. You are within and before the Thorian. It commands that you be in awe.”

Shepard raised her gun, squaring her shoulders as one foot dropped slightly behind the other. “You gave something to Saren. Something I need.” Liara tried to move, to flare her biotics, to raise her own weapon, but something stopped her. As she looked into the asari’s blank face, it hovered on the edge of her mind.

“Saren sought knowledge of those who are gone. The Old Growth listened to flesh for the first time in a long cycle. Trades were made. Then cold ones began killing the flesh that would tend the next cycle, flesh fairly given. The Old Growth sees the air you push as lies. It will listen no more.”

“I won’t let you keep your thralls!” Shepard shouted to the asari and the Thorian. “Release them, now!”

“No more will the Thorian listen to those that scurry. Your lives are short, but have gone on too long! Your blood will feed the ground where it grows! You must die!”

The asari’s body began to glow with blue light, and this time, Liara reacted. She hurled energy at the strange green figure, sending it flying backwards through the air. It collided with the Thorian, crumpling to the floor for a moment before slowly picking itself back up. That was enough time for Garrus to fire, sending a shot right through her head. Like the other creatures of the Thorian, it exploded into green slime, drenching the floor with more liquid. Liara breathed a sigh of relief, her body still humming as her heart hammered in her chest. At least that meant it was one of the Thorian’s creatures, and not a sentient being it had possessed.

Then, she felt Shepard at her side, shoving her towards a ramp along one wall. “Come on, let’s move, before we find more of those things!”

“You think there are more?” she asked fearfully, stumbling towards the ramp.

Shepard gestured at the tiny, hunched, half-formed figures on the ground. More of the Thorian’s creatures. “We must have killed over a hundred of these so far. Who knows how many asari versions it’s had time to make.” As Shepard finished, Liara heard another squelching sound and the familiar hum of more biotics. Up ahead, just as Shepard had predicted, was another of the strange-looking asari clones, accompanied by several creepers. Liara clenched her fist, flaring her own biotics. She could already tell that was going to be difficult.

The next several minutes were a blur of throwing and shooting. Normally, Shepard charged her targets after Liara lifted them, but she was occupied with shooting the Thorian’s many nodes, destroying the large, powerful vines that kept its huge body suspended over the floor. Liara had to finish her targets off herself, exploding them in showers of green goo with a warp or splattering them into the wall with her pistol. It was disgusting, and the smell of rot and decomposition only got stronger each time she killed one. Garrus saved her life more than once, taking out the constant stream of creepers as she tried to deal with a particularly stubborn asari clone.

By the time they got to the top of the winding ramp, Liara had used half her supply of medigel simply to stay upright. She collapsed against the wall, breathing heavily as she watched Shepard aim her shotgun at the final twitching node. It exploded, showering all of them with a foul-smelling slime, and a low, groaning sound echoed throughout the cavern. It swelled to a roar as the walls shook, and then, there was a loud, decisive thud.

“I think… we got it…” Shepard panted, staring over the edge of the ramp. 

“I hope so,” Liara said, still struggling to pull in air. “I am not sure how many more of those asari clones I can destroy!”

She got a little of her wind and confidence back when Shepard patted her between her shoulderblades, helping her off the wall. “You took out enough already, Liara. Come on, let’s get back down there.”

When they reached the floor again, they were just in time to see the giant, crushed form of the Thorian quiver, releasing another gush of sticky green goop from its side. The bulk of its body had caught fire, although the blaze was slow and controlled as it began to devour the ancient plant. With stone all around them, it had nothing else to consume. The Thorian began to tremble and pulse as it burned, and Liara raised her pistol, afraid that it had somehow survived the fall and the fire, but then, it went still, and a figure clawed its way out of the dripping tentacles, away from the flames.

This time, Liara finally recognized her. “Shiala!” she gasped, unsure whether to take a step back or rush forward. 

Shepard whirled around to look at her, although she kept her weapon trained on the asari as she staggered to her feet. “What? You know her?”

Liara hurried to explain, still a little breathless with surprise and exhaustion. “Yes! She was one of my mother’s most trusted students. I knew her growing up, but it has been years! Shepard, I do not think she is a threat. Please, do not shoot her!”

“I - I’m free,” Shiala - the real Shiala - said in amazement as she looked around the cavern, taking in her surroundings with a mixture of relief and surprise. She turned to Shepard first, barely noticing the gun pointed at her. “I suppose I should thank you for releasing me.”

Shepard gave Liara one last look, and then lowered her shotgun. “Is everything all right? Are you hurt?”

“I am fine, or I will be in time. My name is Shiala. I serve - I served Matriarch Benezia. When she allied herself with Saren, so did I. Benezia foresaw the influence Saren would have. She joined him to guide him down a gentler path, but Saren is compelling. Benezia lost her way.”

Liara felt a sudden surge of hope. “Shiala, please,” she said, stepping forward to stand beside Shepard. “Tell us everything you know. Benezia-”

“Liara?” Shiala’s eyes widened with recognition. “So you are alive! My memories are… not my own. I was not sure whether you survived.” After a moment, her lips turned up in a weak smile. “I am glad to see you here.”

“And I am glad to see you,” Liara said, “but what about Benezia? Is she still with Saren?”

Shiala’s expression fell, and when she addressed Liara, the guilt was audible in her voice. “I am afraid so. His hold on my mind has loosened, but she is still aboard his ship. She underestimated him, as I did. We came to believe in his cause and his goals. The strength of his influence is... troubling.”

Simply hearing that her mother had originally wanted to stop Saren lifted a weight from Liara’s shoulders, one that she did not even know she had been carrying. “Benezia sought to turn the river and was swept away,” she said, relief outweighing her worry for a brief moment.

Shepard’s eyes narrowed at Shiala. “Asari Matriarchs are among the most intelligent and powerful beings in the galaxy. How did Benezia fall under Saren’s control?”

“Saren has a vessel, an enormous warship unlike anything I have ever seen. He calls it Sovereign. It can dominate the minds of his followers. They become indoctrinated to his will. There is... an energy about Sovereign. You are drawn to the ship. It makes Saren’s arguments more persuasive, more compelling. Spend enough time in Sovereign’s presence, and you will lose yourself. There is no other way to explain it.”

“Goddess,” Liara murmured. “Well… I suppose it is no stranger than the idea that a plant could be controlling her mind.” She lowered her eyes away from Shiala’s face. “I do not know whether to be glad at the news, or afraid. If it could happen to Benezia, it could happen to anyone...”

Shiala nodded. “The process is subtle. It can take days, weeks, but in the end, it is absolute. I was a willing slave when Saren brought me to this world. He needed my biotics to communicate with the Thorian, to learn its secrets. Saren offered me in trade. I was sacrificed to secure an Alliance between Saren and the Thorian.”

“Saren’s pretty quick to betray his own people,” Shepard said, giving Shiala a once-over. “Guess it’s not a surprise that he traded you.”

“He was quick to betray the Thorian, too. After he had what he wanted, he ordered the geth to destroy all evidence of its existence. Saren knows you are searching for the conduit. He knows you are following his steps. He attacked the Thorian so you could not gain the cipher.”

“You know about the conduit? Can you tell us what it is?” Liara blurted out just as Shepard asked, “What’s the cipher? Why did Saren need it?”

Shiala answered Liara’s question first. “I know nothing of the conduit, other than the fact that Saren wants to possess it. As for the cipher…” She turned to Shepard. “I know what happened to you on Eden Prime, Commander Shepard. The beacon gave you visions, but the visions are unclear, confusing. They were meant for a Prothean mind. To truly comprehend them, you must think like a Prothean. You must understand their culture, their history, their very existence. The Thorian was here long before the Protheans built this city. It watched and studied them. When they died, it consumed them. They became a part of it.”

“That makes perfect sense,” Liara said, her excitement growing. “An organism as old as the Thorian surely would have been able to study them, to form an impression, to learn how they view the universe and see through their eyes.”

“So,” Shepard said, “the Thorian taught Saren to think like a Prothean. How?”

“The cipher is the very essence of being a Prothean. It cannot be described or explained. It would be like explaining color to a creature without eyes. To understand, you must have access to endemic ancestral memory, a viewpoint spanning thousands of Prothean generations. I sensed this ancestral memory, the cipher, when I melded with the Thorian. Our identities merged, our minds intertwined. Such knowledge cannot be taught. It simply exists.”

For a moment, Liara felt a stab of disappointment. “Goddess, all that knowledge,” she whispered to Shiala. “Gone forever. I know the Thorian was trying to kill us, but… Is it strange that I feel disappointed?”

“I understand,” Shiala said. “The Thorian was a unique life form, a sentient being that lived for fifty thousand years or more. There is nothing remotely like it in the known galaxy. I cannot help but feel some sorrow for the loss of such a rare and remarkable creature.”

“And that isn’t our only problem,” Shepard said, sighing with frustration. “If the Thorian is dead, I can’t get the cipher.”

Liara watched as Shiala studied Shepard. The intensity in her old friend’s gaze was almost frightening. “There is a way,” Shiala said at last. “I can transfer the knowledge from my mind to yours, as I did with Saren.”

Shepard did not hesitate. “Do it. I need every bit of help I can get.”

Shiala moved forward, her footsteps falling in time with the crackling of the fire as the Thorian’s body burned behind them. “Try to relax, Commander. Slow, deep breaths. Let go of your physical shell. Reach out to grasp the threads that bind us, one to another. Every action sends ripples throughout the galaxy. Every idea much touch another mind to live. Each emotion must mark another’s spirit. We are all connected, every living being united in a single glorious existence. Open yourself to the universe, Commander. Embrace eternity!”

When Shiala’s eyes went black, Shepard’s body jerked, and Liara instinctively reached out to take her arm. But Shepard did not even seem to process her touch. She shuddered, her eyes moving rapidly as she stared at the ceiling, jaw hanging slack. 

“That’s not like any meld I’ve ever seen!” Garrus said, reaching out to take Shepard’s other arm with his talon. “Liara, we have to stop her -”

“No!” Liara said, shaking her head. “Breaking a meld suddenly can be very dangerous. Besides, Shepard needs the cipher. Just hold her. The bond cannot be sustained for long…”

She was right, and a few seconds later, Shepard snapped back into herself, breathing heavily. Liara could feel the rapid, heavy thump of her heartbeat where their bodies were pressed together. “Shepard… are you all right?”

Shiala stepped back, giving the three of them more room. “I have given you the cipher, Commander, just as it was given to Saren. The ancestral memories of the Protheans are part of you now.”

“Are you all right?” Garrus asked, repeating Liara’s question. “What just happened?”

Shepard blinked, obviously still shaken by what she had just witnessed. “I saw… something. It still didn’t make any sense.”

“You have been given a great gift: the experience of an entire people,” Shiala said. “It will take time for your mind to process this information.”

Liara tightened her grip on Shepard’s arm, although she was relieved that the Commander seemed able to balance on her own again. “We should get you back to the ship, where you can be monitored,” she said. Shepard looked even paler than usual beneath her freckles.

“I am sorry if you have suffered, but there is no other way. You needed the cipher. In time, it will help you understand the vision from the beacon.”


	12. Chapter 12

Liara glanced around the room as the crew took their seats for the mission debrief. Once again, she was slightly unsure of where to sit. Ashley and Kaidan were on the other side of the room with Shepard, sticking close to their commanding officer, and Liara supposed she could not blame them. Both of them had been slightly disappointed that Shepard had not chosen them for the Feros mission, perhaps because it was a human colony. 

Too nervous to go to the other side of the room, Liara took the empty chair between Garrus and Wrex again. She frowned as she watched Shepard lower herself slowly into her own seat across the circle, hands resting on her thighs for support. Shepard had been weak ever since Shiala’s meld, and although Liara was no expert on human complexions, she could tell that the Commander’s was all wrong. 

“Commander, you look… pale,” she said hesitantly. “Are you suffering any ill effects from the Cipher?”

Shepard nodded, still bracing her elbows on her knees. “Yeah,” she sighed, rubbing at her eyes for a moment. “It shook me up a bit.”

“I might be able to help you,” Liara found herself suggesting before she had even thought it through. “Shiala said the cipher was the ancestral memories of the Protheans. Since they are my area of expertise, perhaps I could…”

“Could what?” Shepard asked, pulling her hand away. 

“If I join my consciousness to yours, maybe we can make some sense of it.” Tugging at her lower lip with her teeth, Liara laced her fingers together nervously in her lap. Perhaps it was foolish after she had just survived her first major mission as part of Shepard’s squad, but she was afraid of overstepping her boundaries. Besides, her motivations were suspect in more ways than one. Her recently-admitted attraction to Shepard and her insatiable curiosity about the Prothean memories she had been gifted with muddied the waters.

Just as she was about to rescind the offer and apologize, Shepard stood up. “Do it. Hurry, we don’t have much time.”

For a moment, Liara froze, unsure what to do. Then, she forced herself to stand, hoping that her nervousness did not show on her face. She had melded before, of course, but only with people she knew well, like her mother and some of the acolytes who had helped raise her. Despite everything they had been through together, Shepard was still something of a stranger to her, and she belonged to a completely different species. Liara felt eyes burning into her, and noticed Ashley Williams viewing her with suspicion. Although the Gunnery Chief was still seated, Liara had a feeling that if Shepard showed any signs of distress, she would be up and out of her chair in a flash.

Liara closed her eyes, took a deep breath in through her nose, and centered her mind. “Relax, Commander,” she said as she summoned her biotics, feeling them vibrate beneath her skin. When her eyes opened again to look at Shepard, they were coated over with blackness, and she reached out into the empty space between them. “Embrace Eternity!”

It took Liara several moments to orient herself in the unfamiliar landscape of Shepard’s mind, but even though she had never been there before, Liara knew that something was very, very wrong. There was pain, fear, a chaotic whirlwind that nearly made her pull back from the meld and retreat into herself. But she refused to let go, clinging to Shepard with all the strength she had.

The visions came in a barrage. 

_Red everywhere. Wires. Metal teeth. Screaming - so much screaming._

_She heard wings, then a loud, all-consuming buzz. A dying planet burned against the empty blackness of space._

_Then… It was enormous, the largest thing she had ever seen, descending from the sky with extended pincers._

_Another flash of red, and -_

_‘Liara...’_

The thought was faint, but clearly not a part of the visions. 

_‘Liara… help-’_

Liara tried to force both of their minds back under control. Abruptly, the cipher and the beacon’s message of death began to fade, and she felt Shepard’s emotions rush in to take their place. Panic, worry, and - strangely - affection. 

_‘Shepard. I’m here.’_

_‘You’re here,’_ Shepard’s mind repeated. Then, again, _‘you’re here...’_

Liara let herself fall deeper into the meld, forming a bond that was both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Shepard was afraid. She could sense the rawness of her terror. But there was strength as well, strength so incredible that it nearly swept Liara away. Remembering that she was supposed to be guiding the joining, she redirected Shepard’s focus to that strength, the determination that was already beginning to rise within her. ‘Here. This is yours. Use it.’

There was a moment of hesitation, and then instant relief as Shepard reconnected with herself, forcing the images of death into a sealed corner of her mind. Liara helped her, drawing Shepard’s attention back to her whenever their minds went back to the cipher. Finally, the chaos subsided, and Liara began to pull back into herself.

 _‘No.’_ It took Liara a moment to realize that the thought had come from Shepard. _‘Don’t go.’_

Liara felt her heart surge, although she did not know why. _‘I’m right here, Shepard.’_

This time, Shepard let her go, and Liara suddenly found herself standing back in the comm room. Not all melds were powerful enough to make an asari completely forget her surroundings and lose all physical sensation, but she had been swept away. She blinked, stepping back as she tried to catch her breath.

“That was… incredible! All this time, all my research, yet I - I never dreamed…” She stopped, looking over at Shepard, and was pleased to see that the Commander’s color had returned to normal. “I am sorry. The images were so vivid. I never imagined the experience would be so intense. You are remarkably strong willed, Commander. What you have been through, what you have seen would have destroyed a lesser mind.

Behind them, Kaidan looked on with a worried expression, although his attention was mostly focused on Shepard. “Did you see anything?” he asked hopefully.

“The beacon on Eden Prime must have been badly damaged,” Liara said, piecing together what she had seen in her head. Now that she was no longer melded with Shepard, the images were already beginning to fade, although it was easier to analyze them. Unfortunately, there were gaps, open places that she could not close together. “Large parts of the vision are - are missing. The data transferred into the Commander’s mind is incomplete.”

Shepard’s chin dipped, and she frowned, clearly disappointed. “You sure you didn’t come across any kind of clue or hint? Something we might have missed?”

Liara shook her head. “Everything I saw, you already know. You were right about the Reapers. The Protheans were destroyed by a race of sentient machines…” She shivered as she remembered the giant pincers descending from the sky. If she had not already been desperate to stop Saren before, simply witnessing Shepard’s vision would have made her even more determined. “I think it is obvious there is a connection between the Reapers, the Prothean extinction, and the conduit, but I did not see anything that would help us find it.”

“Then what’s our next move?” Shepard asked, folding her arms over her chest.

“I was able to interpret the data relayed through your vision… what was there, at least,” Liara said, stalling slightly as she tried to come up with some kind of answer. Honestly, she had no idea what they should do next. There were still too many gaps. “The cipher Shiala gave you was not enough to help us understand the vision. Something else is missing. Saren must have the missing information.”

“Then we’re no better off than before,” Ashley said, shaking her head. “We still need to find out where that bastard’s hiding and take him down.”

“Yes,” Liara said, hoping that Ashley’s anger was not directed at her, but at their situation. She turned back to Shepard, staring into the Commander’s vivid green eyes. She had never looked at them so closely before. “Hopefully, finding Saren will provide more answers. Perhaps he found another beacon. If we can find the missing data from your vision, I can…” Suddenly, Shepard’s face began to blur, swimming unsteadily in front of her. Liara raised a hand to her head and blinked, hoping the sudden sense of vertigo would pass. “I can… uh…” Her stomach lurched, and for a moment, Liara thought she would fall forward into Shepard’s arms. 

“Liara, are you all right?” Shepard said, but Liara could only focus on the way her lips seemed to move several seconds ahead of her voice. She swayed slightly, desperately trying to regain her balance. 

“I am sorry, the joining is... exhausting. I should go to the medical bay and lie down for a moment.” She breathed a sigh of relief as the worst of her double vision began to clear. This time, she could see Shepard’s concerned expression clearly.

“I’m taking you to Dr. Chakwas, Liara. The Council can wait to debrief me for a few hours.”

“That will not be necessary,” Liara protested, her cheeks flushing at the thought of Shepard seeing her in such a weak state, not to mention the rest of the crew. This was the second time she had nearly fainted in front of them during a debriefing. “I just need some rest… somewhere quiet.”

“Well, I’m at least going to make sure you get back to your room all right,” Shepard insisted, reaching out to take Liara’s elbow. Liara was surprised when her first instinct was to push further into the touch. When Shepard slid an arm beneath her shoulders, she let herself sag against the Commander’s side, grateful for the extra support. “We’re done here,” she heard Shepard say as she addressed the rest of the crew. “Dismissed.”


	13. Chapter 13

“There,” Shepard said as she pulled one of the spare blankets over Liara’s shoulders and tucked it beneath her chin. “Comfy?” She gave the pillows under Liara’s head one last fluff before sitting back in her own chair.

Honestly, Liara was not comfortable at all. She was sore all over from the mission on Feros, she was frustrated with herself for nearly fainting a second time in front of the crew, and fragments of Shepard’s vision intruded on her thoughts. If they could create such chaos in her own mind, it was a miracle that Shepard’s had not been destroyed. Still, she resolved to put on a brave face despite what she had seen.

“I am much better, thank you,” Liara said, snuggling back into the pillows. “I was already tired from the mission, and I simply overexerted myself. It will not happen again.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you really helped me,” Shepard said, giving Liara an encouraging smile. “My thoughts are the clearest they’ve been in a long time. It’s like… I don’t know, like a bad headache finally went away.” She paused, and Liara saw the worry return to her face. “But how are you holding up? You say you’re fine, but…”

“I am, relatively speaking,” Liara said. “Fighting a giant sentient plant, finding out that my mother is being controlled by Saren’s ship, and witnessing the destruction of the Protheans was probably too much for one day.”

Shepard snorted. “Well, when you put it like that, it’s a miracle you haven’t passed out yet. I’m not disturbing you, am I? Because I can leave if-”

“No!” Liara said, a little too quickly. Even though she was exhausted, she wanted Shepard’s company for a little while. The strength she had sensed earlier through the meld seemed to surround the Commander at all times, and in her current state, Liara knew she could use the extra reassurance. Still, she felt guilty for monopolizing Shepard’s time. “Unless you need to brief the Council…”

“I told you, they can wait. It’s not like they’re hurrying to help me anyway.” Shepard scooted forward a little in her chair. “So, do you want me to get you anything? Just sit here until you fall asleep? Talk to you?”

Liara nodded once. Despite her tiredness, she did not think she would be able to fall asleep. Her thoughts, and Shepard’s thoughts that still lingered inside her mind, were too active. “Talk, please,” she said softly, turning onto her side to find a more comfortable position. She kept the blanket tucked under her chin, remembering how warm Shepard’s hands had felt when she had put it there.

“Well, I’ve decided that we’re heading for Noveria next. Captain Anderson says there were strange geth attacks, but I know there has to be more to it. If they’re working for Saren, we might find another piece of the puzzle.” Shepard paused for a moment, and then leaned forward. “Then, I was thinking we’d head back to the Citadel. See if we can get some intel on where your mother is.”

Liara’s eyes widened in surprise. “You would do that for me, Shepard?” she asked, trying not to let the offer raise her hopes too high.

“Well…” Shepard rubbed the back of her neck. “Yes, but it’s not just for you. Benezia is working for Saren, so we have to stop her. Maybe we can figure out how his ship managed to control her mind. There might be a way to fix it.”

“I am worried for her, Shepard,” Liara found herself confessing, even though she had not expected the conversation to become serious so quickly. “Part of me is relieved that she is not helping Saren willingly, but the thought of some outside force controlling her mind is… terrifying.”

To Liara’s surprise, Shepard reached out to stroke her arm beneath the blanket. “She’s your mother, no matter what differences you had in the past. I’d be concerned if you weren’t afraid for her. Would it help to talk about it?”

“No,” Liara said after a moment’s thought. “Until we finish the mission on Noveria, there is nothing we can do to help her. I just need some time to process this. Could we talk about something else instead?”

“Sure. Maybe we could pick up where we left off. You were telling me about the interest in the Protheans.”

Liara blushed as she remembered her first incredibly awkward conversation with Shepard just after her arrival on the Normandy. Fortunately, her social interaction skills had improved over the past few weeks with the help of the crew, although she still had moments of embarrassment. “Actually, I think I was talking about my interest in you, and making a fool of myself in the process. As I said, I am not used to dealing with people, especially humans.”

“I don’t know,” Shepard said, leaning back into a more relaxed pose and folding her arms over her chest. “You seem to be doing a pretty good job so far. I like our talks.”

“So do I,” Liara admitted. “I have thought about you a lot lately, Shepard.” She paused, deliberately looking away as she remembered the numerous occasions when Shepard had intruded on her thoughts. “Sometimes, I even think about you when I should be thinking about other things, like finding my mother and stopping Saren.”

“Well, if you thought about those things all the time, you’d go crazy,” Shepard pointed out. “So if you want to think about me instead… I don’t mind.”

“You really don’t mind?” Liara asked hopefully. Until Shepard had said the words, she had not realized how much her recent infatuation - there was no other word for it - had bothered her. “I looked into your history,” she confessed, sitting up a little on the cot and letting the blanket drop to her waist. “I know what you did during the Blitz. It was a remarkable display of courage and heroism.”

Shepard’s expression faltered for a moment, and where Liara expected to see pride, there was a brief flash of hurt instead. “You didn’t need to go behind my back,” she said, a wrinkle forming in the middle of her forehead. “I would have told you whatever you wanted to know if you just asked.”

Liara sucked at her lower lip briefly. “I apologize, Commander. After our last conversation, I was afraid I would say something stupid again…” Her eyes darted down into her lap, following the uneven wrinkles of the sheet. “It seems I have anyway, despite my best efforts. I just wanted to know more about you, to understand what made you into the woman you are.” Finally, she found the courage to look up again, directly into Shepard’s eyes. “There is something… compelling about you, Shepard.”

“Are you sure you’re interested in me?” Shepard asked softly, “or is it my visions of the Protheans?”

“I admit, your connection to the Protheans had something to do with my initial interest, but it has grown beyond that. You intrigue me, Shepard, but I was not sure if it was… appropriate to act on my feelings. I thought that there might already be a relationship between you and Lieutenant Alenko.”

Suddenly, Shepard burst out laughing, her face shifting from sadness to bewildered amusement. “What? No! Didn’t I already tell you I was a lesbian and explain what that was? I guess I wasn’t clear enough. The Lieutenant and I are just friends, nothing more.”

Liara knew that this probably should have been another embarrassing moment, but she could not bring herself to be upset about it. She felt a wave of relief instead, and was tempted to join Shepard in her laughter. “My mistake, then,” she said with a smile. “I suppose that I am not as adept at understanding human relationships as I thought.”

“Eh, you aren’t as far off as you think. I can tell that Kaidan has a thing for me. I’ve been gently trying to discourage him without being mean about it.” Shepard leaned forward, lowering her voice as if she was about to reveal a secret. “It’s not working. At all.” 

“I suppose that explains some of his behaviors,” Liara said thoughtfully. “But what about us, Shepard? Is there a mutual attraction, or... was I wrong about that, too?”

Shepard took in a deep breath through her nose, then released it slowly. For the first time, Liara thought that maybe confessing your attraction to someone else might remain difficult, even with practice. And someone like Shepard certainly had practiced, if Sha’ira was anything to go by. “No, you were right. There is something between us.”

“I knew it! And I knew you felt it, too. But... does this not seem rather strange? Why do I feel so close to you? We have only known each other a short time. We are from two different species. We have almost nothing in common. This makes no sense!”

Shepard only smiled at her. “These things never make sense. They just happen, and we get swept up in the storm.”

Liara felt her heartbeat pick up, and she shifted to the edge of the bed, swinging her legs over the side so that she could face Shepard. “You make it sound so… chaotic,” she murmured, and this time, she had no trouble meeting Shepard’s eyes. “So... dangerous.” 

“I’ll keep you safe.”

“I am not looking for a protector. Requiring a rescue on Therum was more than enough for me realize that I did not want to be… how did you refer to it? A damsel in distress?”

Shepard pretended to pout. “Aw, come on. You have to admit, being rescued by a handsome, dashing soldier made you swoon at least a little.”

“Perhaps.” Still staring into Shepard’s eyes, Liara found her courage. She reached out, resting her fingers over Shepard’s hand. “You make me feel things that are completely new to me. It is exhilarating, but also a bit overwhelming. I am not used to… this… you. I will need some time.”

Shepard turned her hand so that their palms could touch, lacing their fingers. “Take all the time you need, Liara. I’ll be here.”


	14. Chapter 14

As the woman at the front desk watched them approach with a slightly guarded look, Liara felt her queasiness return. Her stomach had been bothering her ever since they disembarked the Normandy at the Port Hanshan docking bay. So far, their welcome had not exactly been friendly. They had been met with guns and orders instead of smiles, even though they were theoretically here to investigate geth attacks. “It is surprising that the people here are so cold towards us, since we are here to help them,” Liara said to Kaidan, who was walking beside her.

“It’s not a surprise at all,” he said. “I know a little about this place. Never been here before, but I read the reports Captain Anderson forwarded to the Commander. It’s a corporate hellhole. They generally don’t like it when strangers go poking their noses around.”

“Are human corporations always so unfriendly?”

“All corporations are unfriendly,” Shepard said from a few paces in front of them. “Doesn’t matter what species runs them.”

“I suppose that is true,” Liara agreed softly. “If the corporate world is anything like academia, the competition can be fierce.” 

She abandoned the thought as they reached the front desk and the woman in the pink dress finally greeted them. Fortunately, she was friendlier than her earlier expression had suggested she would be, although her tone remained formal. “I am Gianna Parasini, assistant to Administrator Anoleis. We apologize for the incident in the docking bay.”

“I appreciate the help,” Shepard said, and Liara could tell that she was deliberately trying to be friendly in hopes of defusing the tension.

Parasini’s expression softened slightly. “You’re welcome. You understand our security chief was only doing her job.”

“She could have done it a little more nicely,” Kaidan muttered, but his voice was soft enough for Parasini to pretend not to hear. 

“One of my duties is orientation of new arrivals,” she continued. “Do you have any questions?”

“Pretty heavy security for such a small port,” Shepard said, placing both of her hands on the desk and leaning forward. Liara watched, fascinated by her body language. Somehow, Shepard had managed to insert herself into the other woman’s space without appearing aggressive. This, Liara realized, was just a glimpse of how the Commander operated. It reminded her a little of the way she had talked down Jeong back on Feros. “Any reason why, aside from the geth sightings nearby?”

“Security is always heavy here. The executive board does everything in its power to protect the privacy of our client corporations.”

“I can’t have my investigation hampered,” Shepard began, but corrected course when she saw Parasini’s expression fall. “But I’ll try not to step on any toes.”

“Tread lightly,” Parasini said, but it sounded more like a friendly warning than a veiled threat. “The board can bury you in litigation.” She cast a brief glance at Liara. “You’d need an asari lawyer to see the case through.” 

Liara’s eyes widened slightly. “I am afraid that my speciality is archaeology,” she said softly, hoping to direct the attention off of herself. “We will simply have to avoid offending the board.”

“Has anyone unusual passed through here recently?” Shepard asked, immediately sensing Liara’s discomfort and trying to change the subject. 

“Unusual?” Parasini thought for a moment. “An asari matriarch passed through a few days ago, Lady Benezia.” 

Simply hearing her mother’s name made Liara’s blood turn cold. At the same moment, her heart leaped with hope. The conflicting sensations served to make her sick again, and her pulse began racing as her stomach lurched uncomfortably. “Benezia,” she breathed, casting a nervous glance at Shepard. “She is here?”

Shepard seemed just as surprised as she was, but leapt on the information. “Can I speak with her?”

“Benezia left for the Peak 15 research complex days ago. To the best of my knowledge, she’s still there.”

“Could you tell me how to get there?”

Parasini nodded. “Yes, but you’ll need to ask Administrator Anoleis for clearance to leave this port.”

“Where can I find the Administrator?”

“His office is on the main level, left at the top of the elevator.” Parasini gestured with one of her hands, offering them nonverbal directions.

“Understood.” Shepard pushed herself away from the desk again. “Can we go in now?”

“Of course. If you need any other assistance, you can ask me at the Administrator’s office.” With that, Parasini turned around and left her post, heading down the stairs in the direction she had indicated before. 

That left the three of them alone, and Liara suddenly felt nervous, even though no one but Shepard and Kaidan were observing her. “Benezia is here,” she whispered, partially to herself. “I cannot believe it.” There was a pause, and she forced herself to look up and meet Shepard’s curious gaze. “I imagine you want to talk to me, Shepard. About my mother…”

Shepard shook her head. “No, I don’t. I trust you, Liara. You may not be military, but you’re a part of my crew.”

Some of the sickness receded, and for a moment, Liara felt breathless instead. “Thank you, Shepard. That means a great deal to me.”

“I just hope we can do something to help your mother. If Saren really is controlling her, maybe we can find a way to stop it. Come on, let’s get clearance to leave from Anoleis so we can go find her.”

Unfortunately, getting clearance from the Administrator turned out to be an exercise in frustration. He was no help at all, and Liara left his office with a sour taste in her mouth. His references to Benezia had been even more confusing than his secretary’s, but despite the terse information he had given them, Liara felt just as confused as ever. 

“Well, looks like we need to find a garage pass,” Shepard said as the door to the Administrator’s office sealed behind them. 

“Yeah, and figure out what Benezia had in those crates Anoleis mentioned,” Kaidan added. “Not to mention the commandos…”

Liara swallowed nervously. “That makes me nervous, too. Benezia rarely travels without an escort, but usually, she is accompanied by her followers. Some of them are trained as commandos, but she does not typically hire bodyguards… something is very wrong here.”

“Our first step is to get to the research facility at Peak 15,” Shepard said, heading around the corner and towards the next door. “We’ll just have to figure out the rest when -” 

“Administrator Anoleis isn’t the only one with a pass to leave Hanshan…”

Shepard stopped speaking, and she turned around abruptly, nearly running into Liara. When their shoulders brushed, Liara did not pull away. Instead, she turned to look at who had spoken. Gianna Parasini was standing behind her desk, watching them with apparent interest. “You’ve never worked in the corporate world, have you, Commander? You can’t bludgeon through bureaucracy.”

“So it would seem. I need an alternative.”

Parasini glanced to either side, obviously making sure that no one was listening in. “Talk to Lorik Qui’in,” she whispered, leaning in a little closer to the three of them. “He’s a turian that spends his days at the hotel bar since his office was closed. Can’t say more, not within earshot of Mr. Anoleis.”

Shepard nodded briefly in thanks and began to turn away. “I’ve taken up enough of your time…”

“Not at all, SpecTRe. This is my job, after all.”

“Somehow, I do not think the information that she just gave us falls within her job description,” Liara said as they stepped back into the main port, turning right at the stairs. 

“Me neither,” Shepard agreed. “This sounds too good to be true. There must be a catch. We just have to wait and figure out what it is.”

She was right, of course. Lorik Qui’in did have a garage pass, but he was unwilling to part with it until they had retrieved some vital information from his office computer. Apparently, Administrator Anoleis was even more unpleasant than he had first appeared. 

“I was hoping we would at least be able to leave the port before we needed to shoot anything,” Liara said, raising her voice so that she could be heard over the gunfire. She threw out her arm, launching a singularity at the nearest cluster of security guards in black armor and flinching a little as Shepard began picking them off with her pistol. Kaidan made the rest of them explode by igniting her biotic energy with a warp of his own.

“Bad luck,” Shepard said once the area was clear, stepping out from behind a crate. “I wish we hadn’t had to kill them. At least I managed to reason with that group at the front, and we have the evidence-”

“Looks like we’re in for more trouble, Commander,” Kaidan said.

Liara instinctively followed his gaze, her biotics surrounding her with a humming blue glow as she recognized the same security guard that had been so confrontational towards them in the docking bay. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be in here, Shepard,” she said, stepping forward.

Shepard’s expression remained neutral, although her hand began drifting towards her gun. “I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage, miss…”

“Oh, now you want to show some respect? I’m Sergeant Kaira Sterling, Elanus Risk Control Services. Anoleis would throw you offworld for what you did here. I won’t. You know what we did to cop killers on my world?”

“Being a cop doesn’t give you the right to break the law yourself,” Kaidan snapped. “You accepted bribe money.”

“I didn’t want to shoot them,” Shepard protested, even as her own biotics began to flare. “They fired first.”

“And I’m firing last,” Sterling snapped, drawing her gun. “Kill them!”

The world exploded in gunfire again, and Liara ducked back behind the crate, tossing a fresh singularity into the air. This time, Shepard charged forward as Sterling and two of her guards began to float through the air, knocking all of them back in a shower of blue and white sparks. The two guards didn’t pick themselves up, but Sterling leapt back to her feet, instinctively throwing up a biotic barrier. She aimed her gun at Shepard’s chest, and the Commander stepped backwards, looking for cover that was not there while her shields were done.

This time, Liara did not hesitate. Even though she usually disabled live targets and let Shepard or one of the other squadmates kill them, she popped up from behind the crate and felt energy surge along her arm. A warp flew through the air, colliding directly with Sterling’s face. Liara watched as her neck pulled back with a sickening snap, and she collapsed into a heap on the floor, her barrier winking out.

Suddenly, everything became unnaturally quiet. No one was firing at them. Liara glanced around, and realized that all of the other soldiers had been killed. Kaidan had taken care of them. “Goddess,” she murmured, shaking her head as she stared at Kaira Sterling’s limp form. At least the body was not bleeding.

“Harder than killing clones and geth, isn’t it?” Shepard said as she walked back over to them, putting her gun away. 

Liara nodded shakily. Killing someone the first time had been a sobering experience, and her second kill had not been much easier, although at least this time, the sickness in her gut was fading a little faster. She felt her legs wobble beneath her as Shepard’s hand clapped her shoulder. “Thanks for having my back.”

“You’re welcome, Shepard,” Liara said, exhaling loudly as they turned towards the door. Perhaps killing people would not get any easier, but if it kept Shepard alive and helped them stop Saren and find her mother, she would keep doing it.


	15. Chapter 15

The tunnels beneath the maintenance area at Peak 15 were cold, the kind of cold that made Liara’s hands ache even through her gloves. She shivered, moving as fast as she could over the ice without slipping, following Shepard even though all of her joints hurt. Her mother was here. Actually here, beneath this building. And soon, they would have to face her.

Stepping over the dead body of the rachni they had just killed, the small group stopped in front of the next door. That had been another nasty surprise. Apparently, all of Peak 15 was infested with the creatures, and had been for some time. Liara did not want to think about what they might have done to her mother, given the opportunity. The maintenance area had clearly been shut off for a reason. Still, the man back at the entrance had said they were sensitive to biotics. Perhaps there was still some hope...

The door opened, and they passed into a hallway free of snow, although the chill did not improve. Liara could still see her breath hanging in front of her in puffs of mist. Her boots clanged loudly over the metal grill of the walkway, snow sloughing from the sides. She shivered, instinctively pulling a little closer to Shepard even as she tightened her grip on her pistol. She had lost count of the times she had been forced to use it since their arrival on the tram. 

They stopped in front of the last doorway, which was marked with a hazard radiation symbol, and Liara watched Shepard turn to look at her. “Are you ready for this?” she asked. “I won’t think any less of you if you want to stay back and guard the door.”

Liara shook her head. “If my mother is in there, I am going after her. I have to finish this, Shepard, no matter what happens.”

Shepard gave her a nod, and her expression seemed almost proud. “Understood. I’ll take point. Kaidan, right. Liara, left. Let’s move.” She slammed her hand on the pressure pad, and the door groaned open, protesting at being forced to move in such frigid air.

Together, they stepped inside.

The room had a high ceiling, and Liara had to resist the temptation to stare. More grilled metal walkways stretched out in front of them and to the right, forming something like a square. The center of the room was elevated, with stairs leading the way, and so their view was partially blocked, but Liara thought she could make out a glass tank with something - she could not sure what - inside. Movement came from near the head of the stairs, and Liara’s breath caught. There, standing only a few yards away, was Benezia.

She did not look as Liara remembered. Instead of wearing the bright colors she usually chose - yellow, orange, green - she was dressed from head to toe in black. The cut was revealing, almost uncomfortably so, and the tall black headdress on her head made the ensemble even stranger. For a moment, Liara was so startled by her mother’s uncharacteristic appearance that she forgot to raise her gun. When she noticed that Shepard and Kaidan already had their weapons trained on Benezia, she hurried to lift her own, even though it felt unnaturally heavy in her hand.

Benezia turned away from the giant glass tank, stroking her fingers over it. “You do not know the privilege of being a mother. There is power in creation. To shape a life, turn it toward happiness or despair.” She began moving towards the stairs, and Liara was struck with the sudden desire to step back and away. “Her children were to be ours, raised to hunt and slay Saren’s enemies. I won’t be moved by sympathy, no matter who you bring into this confrontation.” 

Liara began shaking. That voice. It was not her mother’s voice. There was something strange about it, something artificial in the cadence of her words. This thing that looked like her mother but was not her mother stared directly at her with eyes that were colder than the snow. 

“Liara’s here because she wants to be,” Shepard said, “not because I asked her to.” That much was true, Liara knew. She had insisted on coming. Shepard had given her every opportunity to back out, but she had been determined to see this through to the end.

“Indeed?” Benezia’s eyes only glanced toward Shepard for a moment, barely acknowledging her. “What have you told her about me, Liara?”

“What could I say, mother?” Liara found herself saying, the words coming in a jumbled, unplanned rush. “That you’re insane? Evil?” She felt sick even as her lips formed ‘evil’, but she managed to keep the nose of her pistol up, already feeling the hum of biotics crawling beneath her skin. “Should I explain how to kill you? What could I say?”

Benezia ignored her, finally shifting those cold eyes away and fixing her attention on Shepard instead. “Have you faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have.”

“I can’t believe you’d kill your own daughter,” Shepard spat, obviously losing patience. 

Benezia laughed, and her entire body began to glow. “I now realize I should have been stricter with her,” she said, throwing her arms up and summoning a rippling blue barrier to protect herself. There was a soft hiss as doors around them opened, and suddenly, figures began rushing in from all sides, pouring into the room.

Liara barely had time to think. The enemy was on them in moments - asari commandos, all armed and firing. She surrendered herself to instinct, tossing up her own barrier to protect herself from the warps. A few of them exploded around her, splintering the nearby crates so that they could not take cover.

Shepard was a blue blur of destruction, rushing the nearest group and sending them flying with the force of her charge. This time, Liara was prepared for the moment when her shields dropped. She threw a singularity as the commandos picked themselves back up and began to shoot, lifting them into the air. Beside her, Kaidan threw out a warp, igniting her biotics and sending them flying again. It stalled them just long enough for Shepard to bring up her shields again and charge the next squad.

The doors opened again, and Liara was not sure whether to be relieved or terrified as geth began prowling along the walkways. At least these were not truly alive, and this time, she attacked with warps, tearing through their metallic bodies with no remorse. Benezia had retreated somewhere near the glass tank, and Liara fought her way up along the stairs, following Shepard more closely than usual to try and see what had happened to her. But more asari commandos were running through the doors, and the spark and flash of biotics coming from all directions made seeing clearly impossible.

Something came flying at her from the right, and Liara barely managed to throw herself to the ground in time as a glowing blue crate shot through the air, nearly taking the upper half of her body with it. As it slammed into the wall behind her and broke apart, Liara finally caught a glimpse of Benezia, still maintaining her powerful barrier. One of her hands was outstretched, and the bottom of Liara’s stomach dropped open. Her mother had just tried to kill her.

Suddenly, the sound of gunfire stopped, and Benezia slumped backwards, falling out of sight. Liara forced herself back up, rushing up the stairs. Somehow, Shepard was a few steps ahead of her, but Liara could still see Benezia over her shoulder. She had braced herself against the glass tank, and this time, Liara could see what was inside it: a rachni, larger than any of the others she had seen. 

“This is not over,” Benezia insisted, turning away from the tank and regaining her strength. “Saren is unstoppable. My mind is filled with his light. Everything is clear! I will not betray him. You will… you -” She paused, and suddenly, the harsh lines of her face softened. “You must listen. Saren still whispers in my mind. I can fight his compulsions briefly, but the indoctrination is strong.”

Liara froze. There, at last, was her mother’s real voice. She felt the pain of recognition gather in her chest, and she let out a shuddery cloud of breath into the cold air. 

“Why are you able to break free of his control now?” Shepard asked, still glaring at Benezia suspiciously.

“I sealed a part of my mind away from the indoctrination, saving it for a moment when I could help destroy him. It will not last long.”

“So you could turn on me again.”

“Yes, but it would not be my will, Shepard. People are not themselves around Saren. They come to idolize him, worship him. They’ll do anything for him. The key is Sovereign, his flagship. It is a dreadnought of incredible size, and its power is extraordinary.”

“It did this to you?” Liara asked softly, even though she already knew the answer. After what she had witnessed, there was no doubt. Something was controlling Benezia, manipulating her. Shiala had been right. “Where did it come from?”

“I cannot say. The geth did not build it. Its technology is more advanced than that of any known species. The longer you stay aboard, the more Saren’s will seems correct. You sit at his feet and smile as his words pour into you. It is subtle at first. I thought I was strong enough to resist. Instead, I became a willing tool, eager to serve,” Benezia said, and Liara felt hot, stinging tears well in her eyes despite the biting cold. She opened her mouth, wanting to apologize, to say she was sorry for not being there to help, but no words came. Instead, Benezia turned to Shepard. “He sent me here to find the location of the Mu Relay. Its position was lost thousands of years ago.”

“How does something that big go missing?” Shepard asked.

“4000 years ago, a star nearby went supernova. The shockwave propelled the Relay out of its system, but did not damage it. Its precise vector and speed are impossible to determine. As millennia passed, the nebula created by the nova enveloped the Relay. It is difficult to find any cold object in interstellar space, particularly something swathed in hot dust and radiation.”

“And someone on Noveria found it.”

Benezia turned to look over her shoulder, at the large rachni sitting inside of the glass tank. “2000 years ago, the rachni inhabited that region of our galaxy. They discovered the Relay. The rachni can share memories across generations. Queens inherit the knowledge of their mothers. I took the location of the relay from the queen’s mind…” She hesitated for a moment. “I was not gentle.”

Liara knew that she should not have been surprised by such a revelation. Her mother was corrupted, indoctrinated by Saren and his ship, but hearing that she had deliberately abused the privilege of the meld added another sickening layer to her betrayal. Her stomach twisted into knots, and finally, the tears spilled out, running down her cheeks and leaving cold streaks on her face as the air hit them.

Shepard looked at her briefly, and Liara caught the flicker of compassion on her face. Somehow, it only made her feel worse, and she was relieved when Shepard spoke to Benezia instead of her. “Why does Saren need the Mu Relay?”

“He believes it will lead him to the conduit,” Benezia said. “I would tell you more if I could, but Saren did not share his council with me. I was merely a servant to his cause.”

Shepard stepped forward, lowering her shotgun at last. “You can still make it right. Give me the information.”

“I was not myself, but I should have been stronger.” Benezia walked forward, reaching into her dress and pulling out something from its pocket. “I transcribed the data to an OSD. Take it, please.” She stretched out her hand, offering it to Shepard.

“Knowing the Relay’s coordinates is not enough,” Liara said as she watched Shepard take the OSD. “Do you know where he planned to go from there?” 

“Saren would not tell me his destination, but you must find out quickly. I transmitted the coordinates to him before you arrived. You have to stop - me…” Benezia’s voice broke into fragments, and she lifted her hands to her head, as if fighting off a stab of pain. “I ca - I can’t… his teeth are at my ear! Fingers on my spine!” She stumbled backwards, towards the tank, collapsing against it for support as her body began to twitch. “You should… you should… Ah! You should…”

Liara could not help herself. She pushed Shepard aside, stepping forward and rushing towards Benezia. Only a firm hand on her arm stopped her, tugging at her elbow to hold her back. “Mother! I - don’t leave!” she said, the scream tearing at her throat as she struggled. “Fight him!”

Benezia lifted her head, and for a moment, Liara thought she could see her mother crying, too. “You have always made me proud, Liara.” Then, her chin slumped against her chest, and biotics surged around her hands. “DIE!” 

Liara tried to lift her pistol, to summon her own biotics, but she could not move. She was rooted to the spot, frozen with horror as she watched Shepard raise her shotgun. 

One loud blast, and it was over. Benezia collapsed into a heap of black on the floor. “I cannot go on,” she whispered, and as Liara looked at her, she could see a trickle of dark blood seeping onto the ground. “You will have to stop him, Shepard.”

“Hold on!” Shepard said, dropping her gun completely and activating her Omnitool. “We’ve got medigel, maybe we can -”

“No, he is still in my mind. I am not entirely myself. I never will be again.”

Liara continued sobbing, not wanting to believe, refusing to accept. “No, mother!”

But Benezia only shook her head. “Good night, little wing. I will see you again with the dawn…” She turned away, and in that moment, Liara wondered if it was because Benezia did not want her to look as the life left her eyes. “No light. They always said there would be a…”

This time, when Benezia slumped over, she did not raise her head again.


	16. Chapter 16

Liara felt numb as she took her usual seat in the debriefing room with Garrus and Wrex on either side of her. Both of them gave her sympathetic looks as she lowered herself into the chair. Kaidan had radioed the Normandy with a preliminary mission report on the tram ride back from Peak 15, but she had not been listening. Instead, she had fought to suppress the image of her mother bleeding out on the ground, interspersed with flashes of Shepard’s strange visions from the Prothean beacon and the cipher. 

“What’s our next move, Commander?” Ashley Williams asked, and Liara snapped back into the present as she realized that the debrief had started. “Head for the Mu Relay?”

Shepard shook her head. “The Mu Relay could link to dozens of systems. Unless we know exactly where Saren is going, we’d just be wasting our time.”

“How are we going to find out until we go there, Commander?” Ashley said, frustration adding an extra edge to her voice. “It seems like we’re always trailing one step behind Saren, and with a fresh lead like this, maybe we can finally get the jump on him for a change, before he can do any more damage.”

Liara spoke up in agreement with Shepard, hoping that participating in the meeting would give her something to think about besides Benezia. Watching her mother die over and over again in her head was becoming exhausting, but she could not seem to break the thought loop. “The Commander is right, we cannot just rush off blind. We still need to learn more about Saren.”

“Who put you in charge?” Ashley asked, narrowing her eyes. “Did the Commander resign when I wasn’t looking?”

Before Liara could respond, Shepard shot Ashley a reprimanding look. “We’re all on the same team here, Williams. She’s just trying to help.”

Ashley had the decency to look embarrassed by her outburst. “Sorry, Commander,” she said, lowering her head slightly.

Shepard sighed and looked around the room, addressing the entire crew. “Look, this is a tough mission. We’re all on edge. Everyone, go get some rest. We can finish this debrief later. Crew dismissed.”

Relieved that she no longer had to put on a brave face for anyone else, but also terrified that she would break down once she was alone, Liara remained seated as the rest of the crew drifted towards the door. In one ear, she could hear Shepard talking to Joker about reporting to the Council, and reluctantly, she stood and followed the rest of the squad out of the comm room. Part of her wanted to remain near Shepard, but she knew that the Commander needed to make her report.

As the door shut behind her, Liara was surprised to see Ashley Williams lingering just outside. Her eyes widened, and she considered trying to avoid a confrontation by ducking back into the comm room. She was too emotionally exhausted to deal with any more of the Gunnery Chief’s cruel comments. But Ashley did not say anything, and when Liara finally bothered to look, her expression seemed almost repentant. “Hey, T’Soni -” Ashley cleared her throat and corrected herself. “Liara. I owe you an apology. What I said in there… it wasn’t right. You’re a member of this squad, and you’re allowed to offer up an opinion just like the rest of us.”

Liara froze, unsure what to say. Then, she decided that the simplest response would probably be the best. “Thank you, Chief Williams,” she said hesitantly. 

“Ashley. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry about your mom, too. You’ve got to be hurting. I wish we could have found a way to free her from Saren instead.”

“Me too,” Liara sighed, “although I am surprised that you are so willing to believe my mother was indoctrinated.”

Ashley shrugged. “I didn’t trust you when you first came onto the Normandy, but now, I’m not sure you’d recognize a lie if it bit you on the ass. If you say Benezia was indoctrinated, I believe it. And that’s not even counting the fact that Skipper says so.”

“Bit me… where?” Liara stammered, slightly overwhelmed by Ashley’s sudden change in attitude towards her, and confused by her strange phrasing. “I am afraid I do not -”

“Human expression,” Ashley said. “What I mean is, do you want to grab some food in the mess? The rest of the crew is already headed there. We don’t have to talk about the mission. We - I just thought you might want to be around other people for a little while.”

Liara considered the offer for a moment. She did not really want to spend time with anyone else, except perhaps Shepard, but she wanted to be alone with her thoughts even less. The vivid memories of Benezia’s death were already pressing in on her mind again. “I… think I would like to go with you,” she said slowly, feeling a little more confident once she had given her answer. “I could use the company.”

Ashley smiled, reaching out to give her a friendly pat on the shoulder. “Good. Come on. Alenko tells me you biotics can really pack it away after a mission.”

Although Ashley had warned her in advance, Liara was still a little shocked to see the entire squad waiting for them in the mess. Most of them had already grabbed their plates, and Liara’s lips twitched up in a weak smile when she noticed that there was already a place reserved for her. This time, there were no divisions between the humans and the other species, and Kaidan was actually seated between Tali and Garrus.

“Liara,” Wrex bellowed when he saw them, patting the bench next to him. “Come eat!” 

Eager to sit down again and give her shaking legs a chance to recover, Liara took her place beside Wrex, and Ashley slid onto the bench after her. 

“Tough mission on Noveria,” Wrex continued, shoving a nutrient bar in Liara’s direction. As a biotic himself, Liara suspected that he knew how much she needed the extra calories. “Never easy, having to kill your own blood.”

Liara was a little shocked by his bluntness, but before she could grope for some kind of response, Kaidan spoke up in her defense. “She probably doesn’t want to talk about it, Wrex. We’re supposed to be making her feel better, not worse. Let it go.”

“I’m just saying that I know how it feels,” Wrex insisted. “When my father tried to kill me, I had to kill him first.”

Strangely touched by Kaidan’s empathy and Wrex’s concern, even though his attempts at comfort were slightly off the mark, Liara smiled slightly as she unwrapped her nutrient bar. “I appreciate it, Wrex. But actually, Shepard was the one who…” Liara could not bring herself to finish the sentence. She swallowed down the sudden thickness in her throat, surprised that she wanted to talk about this at all. Still, the words came. “I am grateful that the Commander took the final shot instead of me. Benezia and I were estranged, but I am not sure I could have…”

Tali removed the straw sticking through her suit’s filter, and even through her mask, Liara could tell that the quarian was looking at her. “You were estranged? Unreasonable expectations?” she asked, and something about Tali’s voice told Liara that she knew what she was talking about.

Liara nodded. “My mother does n- did not approve of my career. Everyone assumed I would study politics and follow in her footsteps once I had gathered the necessary experience. Such a path did not appeal to me.”

“My father is an Admiral back on the Flotilla. The position isn’t hereditary, but everyone expects me to be one, too, someday.” Tali pulled her glass a little closer. “I’m not sure I want that. He was hardly ever around while I was growing up.”

“Guess we have a theme for the week,” Garrus said as Liara took another bite of her nutrient bar. She realized with some surprise that she had already eaten half of it, although she could not remember doing so. “My father was C-Sec. I followed the career path he laid out for me, and he still wasn’t satisfied with my attitude.”

“Why not?” Ashley asked. “You’d think he would be proud of you for going into law enforcement.”

Garrus shook his head. “He’s old-school, by the book, and I wasn’t, so I ended up being a disappointment. He would probably blow up if he knew I was off chasing Saren around the galaxy with a SpecTRe.”

Liara finished chewing. With food in her stomach, she was already starting to feel a little stronger, and it was actually nice to hear the rest of the squad share their stories. Perhaps it would help to share a little more of hers. “Before she… before she died, Benezia told me that she had always been proud of me.” She glanced down at the surface of the table, which was littered with empty wrappers from the rest of the crew and a few wet rings from Tali’s glass. “I wonder if she meant it, or if she was simply trying to make me feel better.”

“Why can’t it be both?” Kaidan asked. “I didn’t know her, but it sounded to me like she was being genuine.”

“I - I suppose it could be both,” Liara said after a moment’s consideration. “At least, I hope it was. It is comforting to think that my mother would be proud of what we are doing to stop Saren.”

Wrex pounded one of his large, heavy fists on the table, making Tali’s glass shake. “And we’re going to stop him,” he rumbled. “I didn’t think it was possible, but I want to kill Saren even more now.”

“Right,” Ashley said. “And Liara gets the kill shot if I have anything to say about it.”

Liara was not sure whether to smile or cry. For once, the idea of killing someone did not seem so unappealing.


	17. Chapter 17

Despite her best efforts and a mild sedative from Dr. Chakwas, Liara was not able to sleep when the ship’s night cycle came. Her dreams were haunted by visions of fire and ash, with her mother’s face amidst it all. When she abandoned the small cot in the corner of her room, things did not improve. The day dragged by. Liara could not bring herself to leave her room, and although several members of the crew dropped by to check on her for short periods, the person she truly wanted to see never came through the door.

Liara was not entirely surprised by Shepard’s avoidance since Noveria. The Commander had been the one to kill Benezia, and though Liara was grateful, Shepard had no way of knowing how she felt. The two of them had not talked since their return to the Normandy the day before.

By the time dinner came and went, with Liara rejecting several offers to eat in the mess, Shepard was still nowhere to be found. In her darker moments, Liara wondered why she cared. It seemed stupid to worry about a human she had only met a few months ago after she had just watched her mother die. She felt torn between two very separate halves of herself, and she did not know how to reconcile her grief with whatever feelings she had been developing for Shepard. 

Liara had just about given up and decided to return to her cot for another round of fitful nightmares when she heard the familiar whoosh of the door opening. This time, when she turned around, Shepard’s familiar figure was braced in the doorway. She was not smiling, and even from a distance, Liara could see pain in her eyes.

“If you are here to talk about Benezia’s death, you need not bother,” she said, turning her chair and getting up from her desk. “She brought it upon herself.” The words came out colder than she had intended, but she had no idea what else to say. Part of her wanted to keep Shepard separated from the mess inside of her, even though she knew that was impossible. 

Shepard approached her cautiously, only leaning against the other side of the desk after she had taken careful note of Liara’s reaction to her presence. “You don’t need to pretend it doesn’t bother you. She was your mother.”

“She was, but she was not. I prefer to remember Benezia as she used to be, before she was corrupted by Sovereign’s power.”

“The best of your mother lives on in you,” Shepard said. “Her determination. Her intelligence. Her strength.”

Liara sighed, feeling strangely uncomfortable with the compliments, even though she could tell that Shepard meant them. “That is... kind of you to say. I appreciate your concern, but I am fine. Benezia chose her path, just as I have chosen mine.” She folded her hands behind her back, straightening her shoulders. “I am with you until the end, Shepard.”

Shepard looked at her for a moment, and then sighed, staring down at her knees. Her hands clutched tighter at the edge of the desk. “I wish you didn’t have to be,” she said softly. “You never should have been dragged into this, and I…” Shepard swallowed, and for the first time, Liara realized that perhaps her infatuation with Shepard had blinded her to the woman beneath the hero. She was not simply a dashing stranger who had swept her away. She was a person, and right now, she was burdened with guilt. “And here I am, focusing on my own feelings when I killed your mother. Talk about selfish. I just - I hope you know I wanted to save her. If there had been another way, I would have…”

Instinctively, Liara reached out, putting her hand on Shepard’s shoulder. It was strange, but somehow, offering comfort to someone else dulled her own pain a little, just as talking with the crew had eased some of the hurt yesterday. “I know, Shepard. There was no other way. I am grateful that you took the shot for me. To add that pain on top of everything else… I am not sure I could have dealt with it.”

Shepard pushed herself off the desk, and Liara let her hand fall away. Liara could not be sure which of them opened their arms first, but soon, they were wrapped in an embrace, clinging tight to each other. Finally, the tears that Liara had tried to hold back since returning to the Normandy came streaming down her cheeks. She buried her face in Shepard’s shoulder, fingers clutching at the fabric of her shirt as soft strands of the human’s hair brushed the top of her crest.

“God, Liara, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Somehow, Liara knew that this time, Shepard was feeling her grief, not just the guilt of being forced to kill Benezia. Shepard was sorry for her, not herself. She took comfort in the strong, square hands rubbing up and down on either side of her spine, pulling her close. The embrace was an offer to share, to take some of Liara’s pain. And Liara accepted, pulling away from Shepard’s shoulder and cupping both sides of her face. 

“Shepard?” she murmured, asking without asking. But Shepard understood, and she nodded her head yes, letting her own hands settle around Liara’s waist. “Embrace Eternity…”

_Back on Noveria, in cold that ached beneath skin, the bark of a shotgun shattered the frigid air. Benezia’s black form slumped to the ground._

_“You have always made me proud, Liara.”_

_If only she had known sooner, if only there had been some way to find her and help her before…_

_Benezia’s head tilted up one last time to meet her eyes. “Good night, Little Wing. I will see you again with the dawn…”_

_It was her fault. Her fault for running away, for abandoning -_

_‘No.’_ Liara was a little surprised to hear Shepard’s voice in her head. _‘This was Saren’s fault. Not yours.’_ Once again, Liara felt the sureness and strength that she had sensed beneath the chaos of the cipher during their last meld. She clung to it like a lifeline, sobbing openly as Shepard let her draw comfort. 

Liara could still feel guilt pressing in on the edges of Shepard’s consciousness, and once her wildly veering emotions began to settle, she tried to give back and banish it, letting her fingers thread through the Commander’s hair as she traced over the scarred landscape of Shepard’s mind. _‘I do not blame you,’_ she said, letting Shepard feel the sincerity behind the thought. _‘You killed her so that I would not have to. There was nothing more you could have done.’_

They lingered in the meld for another minute, slowly parting as they eased back into their own bodies. Feeling weak from the joining, Liara sagged against Shepard’s chest, clutching at the human’s broad shoulders for a moment to try and regain her balance. “Shepard, thank you…”

“I think I should be thanking you.” Shepard led them both over to Liara’s small cot. It was a tight fit, but somehow, they both managed to lie down in something of a warm tangle.

“I have realized that I know you, and do not know you, Shepard,” Liara said to break the silence. “I have sensed pieces through our joinings… your kindness, your strength… but parts of you still feel strange to me. In the field, you are an unquestionable leader, something far beyond a normal soldier, and on the Normandy, you are very open with your crew. But you are also surprisingly reserved and private. If I had not looked up your service history, I never would have known anything about your life before now.”

Shepard sighed, wrapping an arm around Liara’s shoulder. “I’ve always been that way, I think. I don’t share much beyond what people see when they look at me. Mostly, I like to listen. I learn more that way.”

“You do have a habit of listening more than talking, don’t you?” Liara murmured. “Tell me something about yourself. It does not have to be anything important. Just… something beyond the soldier and the person who was touched by the Protheans. I - I find that I want to know more of you.”

“Well, you know I’m not a very good driver,” Shepard said, laughing a little. “I almost flunked out of military school before I could enlist because I was so bad in the simulator.”

“Military school?”

“You know, a pre-service academy? My mother served, so she sent me to school when she decided it wasn’t healthy to drag me from station to station every time she got reassigned. But I liked it. I always knew I wanted to join the Alliance.”

“And your mother?” Liara asked after a moment. “Is she proud of you?”

“I know she is. I haven’t been able to talk to her much, not since… I should send her a message.”

“Does she look anything like you do?”

“Yeah. I got the red hair and freckles from her.” Shepard paused, shifting a little to pull Liara closer. “She used to tell me bedtime stories. I was Captain Shepard, and I had my own crew. I fought everyone from the Blasto villains to the entire batarian fleet.” She sighed. “I only had to take the bad guys to space jail then. There was never anything about killing innocent people.”

Liara looked up at Shepard, past the firm line of her jaw and into her eyes. “My mother was not innocent, Shepard. She did terrible things, even if they were not her will. There was…” Her voice caught a little, and for a moment, the tears threatened to come again. “There was no alternative. At least this way, Saren cannot control her anymore.” Strangely, voicing her thoughts aloud brought Liara some measure of peace. Benezia was dead, but she was also free.

The two of them drifted into silence again, but this time, it was more comfortable. The sound of Shepard’s steady heartbeat beneath her cheek was soothing, and Liara’s eyes began to droop. Her limbs felt weighted down, when Shepard slowly climbed off of the cot and pulled the spare blanket up around her shoulders, she was suddenly too tired to protest. But her mouth twitched up in a smile when she felt warm lips graze the center of her forehead. This time, there would be no nightmares.


	18. Chapter 18

The next week passed slowly for everyone on the Normandy, and left Liara with an uncomfortable amount of time to think. Although she tried to share regular meals with the crew, and Shepard made a point of visiting her often, asking neutral questions about asari culture and sharing bits and pieces about her own life, Liara still found herself lonely more often than not. It was silly, she told herself, to miss Benezia after they had fallen out of contact for years. But as she went about her day, going over what little evidence they had collected and trying to find possible links to Saren, her pain resurfaced randomly, flaring up from a dull ache to a sharp, stabbing hurt.

When she was not focused on her mother or Saren, her thoughts returned to Shepard. Both of them were obviously interested in each other, but right now, with so much at stake, it almost felt inappropriate to explore their feelings. Still, Liara could not help thinking about her. She wondered what it would have been like to meet Shepard in a neutral setting, somewhere untouched by Saren and the geth and Benezia’s shadow. Perhaps then, they could have…

The sound of the door opening broke the repetitive loop of Liara’s thoughts, and she was grateful for the distraction. Her relief increased when she saw that it was only Shepard who had come to visit her again. Although she was beginning to genuinely enjoy her interactions with the rest of the crew, and it was no longer emotionally taxing to spend time with them, she always enjoyed Shepard’s visits the most.

“Coming to check up on me again, Commander?” Liara asked, smiling as she turned in her chair and stood up. “People will start to talk if you make such a habit of this.”

“Would you mind if they did?” Shepard asked.

Liara shook her head. “No. Would you?”

“No, but it’s too late now, anyway. Kaidan’s already, um, said something to me about it. Even Ashley has been encouraging me to check up on you the past week, and I don’t think it’s just because you’re a member of the crew.”

“Really?” Liara asked, not bothering to conceal her interest. “Chief Williams has been surprisingly supportive since Noveria, but I did not suspect… Well, I suppose it does not matter. What about Lieutenant Alenko? What did he say?”

“Nothing important,” Shepard said, and even though her tone was somewhat dismissive, Liara could tell that there was more to the story than she was letting on. “He just asked if I was chatting you up.”

“And? What did you say?”

Shepard grinned. “I told him yes, of course. Although ‘chatting you up’ isn’t the way I’d put it. I talk to you and spend time with you because I’m interested in you, not just because I’m interested in sex.”

Liara was slightly surprised by Shepard’s bluntness, but the words spent a small shot of electricity down her spine anyway. She shivered, and when Shepard closed the distance between them, taking her usual place against the desk, she moved closer as well. “So, it is not because I am the only asari onboard the Normandy?” she asked, wanting to pry even more details out of Shepard.

Fortunately, the Commander seemed amused by her question instead of offended. “What was it you said when I asked if you were only interested in me because of my visions of the Protheans? My interest may have started there, but it’s grown beyond that. You intrigue me, Liara.”

A blush colored Liara’s cheeks as she heard her own words repeated back to her, and she cleared her throat nervously, all too aware of how close Shepard’s body was to hers. They were almost near enough to share heat. “I know there are some... strange beliefs about my people. I am familiar with the legend of asari promiscuity, but those rumors have little basis in fact. When one of my people joins with an individual from another species, it is often a very deep and spiritual exchange.”

“You make it sound almost mystical,” Shepard breathed, and Liara’s eyes were drawn to the shape of her mouth. Not for the first time, she wondered what those lips would feel like if she found the courage to lean forward and… “But don’t worry,” Shepard continued, breaking the spell. “I don’t have any preconceptions about you. Asari are all different, just like humans.”

Liara swallowed, trying to gather the courage to ask a question that had been nagging her for a while. “I suppose you have… had experiences with others of my - I mean…” she said, tripping over her words before they could form a proper sentence.

Shepard took pity on her. “I’ve been with a few asari before, but not nearly as many as the crew thinks.”

“Like Sha’ira,” Liara blurted out before she could stop herself. 

To her surprise, Shepard actually looked embarrassed. “Was it that obvious? Anyway, that’s not going to happen again. Two ships passing in the night, I guess.” 

Liara made a mental note to ask Ashley what the human phrase meant, but was distracted again by Shepard’s closeness. She glanced down for a moment, and noticed that the edges of their hands were nearly touching at the edge of the desk. Her fingers flexed slightly, and she gathered her courage, slowly sliding her hand towards Shepard’s. “I must admit to feeling a little jealous,” she said without looking up. “I know you have no obligations towards me, and have made no promises, but…”

When Shepard closed the last of the distance, taking her hand and rubbing a thumb across the tops of her knuckles, Liara nearly forgot to breathe. She looked up, and was caught in deep green eyes. “Now isn’t exactly a great time for promises,” Shepard said, squeezing her hand a little tighter. “But… part of me wants to make them anyway. And I kind of like the fact that you were a little jealous.”

“And intimidated,” Liara confessed. “Surely, Sha’ira knows much more about human desire than I do…”

“You don’t need to know about humans,” Shepard said, and although Liara knew it was meant to be reassuring, she could not help interpreting the low, throaty tone of her voice as a caress. “Just about me. And when you’re ready - when we’re ready - I can show you. Assuming you want me to.”

“I do,” Liara whispered, and to say the words was almost a relief. “But I am not just nervous about…” She hesitated, trying to decide how best to explain. “About the physical part. For asari, there is so much more.”

Shepard’s hand slid further around hers, tracing the sensitive underside of her wrist. “You mean the meld?”

“A true union goes far beyond an ordinary melding. It is a connection that transcends the physical universe. Two become one. Thoughts and senses merge. Identities intertwine. Memories and emotions weave themselves together, becoming entangled in a single, rapturous whole. It is unlike any other experience. In some cases, it can be a truly life-changing event.” Liara stopped abruptly, feeling her cheeks flare with embarrassment, but instead of laughing at her overly-poetic description, Shepard was staring at her with a look of wonder. 

“It sounds amazing, the way you talk about it. Are you saying…?”

“No!” Liara gasped, instinctively drawing her hand away even as she mourned the loss of warmth and closeness. “Oh, no! Uh, I am not very good at this, am I? I am sorry…”

“Don’t be,” Shepard said, drawing her hand back into her lap. She gave Liara a sheepish look. “I didn’t mean to push. I wasn’t talking about _right now…”_

Liara was not sure if Shepard’s explanation left her feeling relieved or disappointed. She averted her eyes as a very vivid mental image of Shepard surging forward to pin her further against the desk popped into her mind. “I am trying to explain why I have been so… reserved,” she said, although she certainly did not feel reserved as the Shepard in her imagination took her lips in a kiss, sliding a thigh between her legs and reaching behind her neck to find her zipper. Liara shook herself before the scene could progress any further, knowing that soon, she would not be able to keep talking. “The union is more than just sex. It is the lifeblood of my species, the way we asari evolve and grow as a society. That is why I have never… uh… I mean, that is why we must choose our partners with great care.”

“Wait,” Shepard said, picking up on her slip, “are you saying this is your first time?”

Liara began to wish that she had continued with her fantasy instead of trying to talk after all. “I am only one hundred and six, barely an adult by asari standards, and I spend most of my time absorbed in my research,” she admitted hesitantly. “I never really thought about it. Not until I met you.”

Shepard’s smile helped ease a little of her embarrassment. “I’m flattered,” she said, and when she reached out, Liara accepted the invitation, lacing their fingers together again. “But I know now isn’t exactly… you know. The best time. I don’t expect anything from you.” 

“You have been very understanding with me, Shepard. Very patient. I appreciate that.” Liara sighed, staring at their joined hands. “But with all that’s happened - Saren, my mother, the Reapers - I do not know if we are ready for this.”

“These are dark times, Liara. Maybe once this is over…”

Although Shepard had said exactly what she had wanted to hear, Liara’s heart began to sink. Part of her had almost hoped that Shepard would throw caution to the wind and demand that they explore their feelings now, while they still had time. “I am glad you understand, Shepard,” she said, trying to conceal her disappointment. “There is too much at stake. We need to put aside our personal feelings and focus on stopping Saren. I wish it did not have to be that way, but we all have to make sacrifices.”

Shepard opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, her Omnitool began to buzz. A few seconds later, Joker’s voice came over the comm. “Commander? The Council wants to talk to you. Something about a distress signal?”

“Give me a second, Joker,” Shepard called up to the ceiling, heaving a frustrated sigh. Then, she turned back to Liara. “How many credits do you want to bet that Saren’s behind this, too? Seems like almost everything we investigate goes back to him somehow.”

“I am afraid I cannot afford to make that bet,” Liara said, “but perhaps this time we will be able to find something useful.”

Shepard let go of Liara’s hand reluctantly, stepping away from the desk and heading towards the door. Before she left, she paused and turned to look over her shoulder. “Liara? After this is over, I’m going to clear my schedule. Whatever assignment the Council has planned for me next is just going to have to wait until…”

“Until what?” Liara asked, even though she already knew the answer.

“Until we’ve had enough time to figure out what we could be without the fate of the galaxy hanging over us. I don’t want to miss the chance to find out.”


	19. Chapter 19

“Did you really have to give her such a big head start, Shepard?” Wrex complained as they crossed the catwalk just beyond Rana Thanoptis’s office, stepping over the bodies of several geth they had shot along the way. The metal bridge groaned under his weight, and Liara made sure to stay at least a few feet away, just in case. “That asari was working for Saren. We shouldn’t have made it so easy for her to get away.”

Once she was certain the bridge was stable, Liara followed him, popping the heat sink on her pistol. She had gotten much better at using it over the past several weeks, although she still preferred to rely on her biotics whenever possible. After tramping around Saren’s base for hours, the heat was starting to exhaust her, and it was easier to shoot and conserve her energy during the smaller skirmishes. “Really?” she asked. “That is what you wish to complain about on this mission?”

So far, Virmire had been a scramble of unexpected problems and rapidly changing mission parameters. When Shepard had first asked Liara to be a part of the ground team, she had agreed, eager to do anything that might bring them one step closer to finding Saren. None of them had imagined that the salarian distress signal would lead them right to his base, or that he was breeding an army of fake krogan to help him in his conquest. 

Of course, krogan were not the only enemies they had to face. Saren’s geth were everywhere, and the elements themselves seemed to be fighting against them. The sun beat down on their heads, reflecting off the grilled catwalk in a harsh glare and making a sticky, uncomfortable heat rise from the metal. Even high off the ground, sand blew at them from all sides. Liara coughed once, trying to surreptitiously adjust the front of her black body armor. She longed for the coolness of her loose green and white uniform instead. “I don’t know which is worse, all these geth, or the sand in my… never mind.”

“Well,” Wrex said, “if you’re looking for complaints, there’s the part about Saren finding a cure for the genophage, only to make us destroy it because he’s an evil bastard.”

Liara had the decency to feel guilty for brooding over her mild discomfort, and she did not respond with any further complaints as they stopped in front of a side door. Shepard held up her hand for silence, glancing to either side to make sure they were clear before slamming her fist on the green pressure pad. The door opened, leading into a small, dark room that seemed to extend downward.

“Oh, Goddess.”

The words were out before Liara had even finished processing what she was seeing. A large, sleek tower stood at the far side of the room, rising up from a lower level. Ethereal green light swirled around it, and Liara raised her head, her gaze drifting to the very top. Although she had never seen a working one before, she knew what it was instantly. “Shepard,” she whispered, the volume of her voice rising a little with each word, “this is it! Another Prothean beacon! Saren must have used it to fill in the missing information from the message!”

“Don’t go near that damn thing, Shepard,” Wrex grunted, completely dismissing Liara’s excitement. “Last time, it fried your brain worse than what that other asari did to you. Williams told me it nearly got Alenko, too.”

Shepard studied the beacon intently for a few moments. Then, her face hardened. “If Saren’s already seen what’s in this beacon, I need to see it, too,” she said. Gripping her shotgun, she made her way down the ramp, towards the lower level where the beacon was waiting.

Liara felt her stomach lurch. As excited as she had been to come across working Prothean technology, she was beginning to have her doubts. “Shepard,” she said, running to catch up and reaching out a hand to try and grasp the Commander’s shoulder, “perhaps we should…” But Shepard either refused to listen, or did not hear her warning at all. She moved steadily forward, almost as if drawn to the glowing green tower, staring up at it with frightening intensity. 

“Come on, let’s pull her back!” Wrex said, following them down the ramp. 

Neither of them were fast enough.

More energy poured from the beacon, filling the room and lifting Shepard up into the air. Everything seemed to hum, and Liara lifted her hands up to block out the noise. Shepard’s body jerked in front of them, going rigid as her face was cast in a sickly green light, and her mouth fell open in a silent scream that made Liara ache to reach out. She tried, but her body was frozen, unable to move. 

After what felt like hours, but could only have been a few seconds, another wave of light burst from the tower, and Shepard dropped back to the ground, flinging out her hands to try and catch herself. Able to move at last, Liara rushed forward, sliding one of her arms beneath Shepard’s elbow as the Commander picked herself back up. “Shepard, are you all right?” she asked, her forehead pulling tight with concern. She could not be sure, but she thought Shepard’s skin looked even paler than usual.

“I… I saw the vision again,” Shepard said, her voice shaking almost as badly as her legs. “Or something like it. Everything was red, and there were screams...” Shepard blinked once to clear her head. Then, with a weak, reassuring pat to Liara’s hand, she pulled her arm free and began making her way back up the ramp. 

Liara followed a few steps behind her, still worried that Shepard might collapse again after her experience with the beacon. “Shepard, perhaps you should…” Her voice trailed off as she followed Shepard’s gaze. There, hovering before them, was a series of red lights, clustering together to form an alien shape that seemed strangely familiar. It took Liara several moments to place it, but then, it returned in a flash, pushing to the forefront of her mind. She had seen that silhouette before, outlined by the last light of a dying sun in one of Shepard’s visions. Claws extended from its tapered body, reaching out to grasp...

The rumble of Wrex’s voice beside her sent the image flickering away again, although Liara felt its weight remain hanging over her for several seconds. “I get the feeling something bad is about to happen.”

“You are not Saren.” 

The voice of the hologram was low - a sharp, clipped monotone. It sent an unnatural shiver down Liara’s spine, and she swallowed, wary of going close enough to examine it. Instead, she remained behind Shepard. “What is that? Some kind of VI interface?”

“Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh, you touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding.”

Liara instinctively reached for her pistol, even though she knew it would do little good against a hologram. “I do not think this is a VI…”

The voice spoke again, the static red image of the many-armed creature pulsing with each syllable. Although it had no eyes, it almost seemed to be studying them. “There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own that you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension. I am Sovereign.”

“Sovereign isn’t just some Reaper ship Saren found,” Shepard murmured, stepping back to take in a better view of the large hologram extending above them. “It’s an actual Reaper!”

“Reaper. A label created by the Protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end, what they chose to call us is irrelevant. We simply are.”

“But the Protheans vanished 50,000 years ago,” Liara whispered, staring at the Reaper - Sovereign - in disbelief. “You could not have been there, it is impossible!” But even as she said the words, she knew they were false. She remembered the image of the giant black ship descending from the sky, blotting out the last of the light. Whatever this thing was, the Prothean beacon on Eden Prime had recorded it.

“Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation. An accident. Your lives are measured in years and decades. You wither and die. We are eternal. The pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything.”

“There is an entire galaxy of races united and ready to face you!” Shepard said, fists clenched at her sides as she stepped forward in challenge. 

The hologram pulsed again. “Confidence born of ignorance. The Cycle cannot be broken.”

“The Cycle?” Wrex snorted, eyeing Sovereign with obvious suspicion. He kept his gun clutched close to his chest. “What Cycle?” Liara remained quiet, although the answer was already beginning to tug at her mind.

“The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom. Organic civilizations rise, evolve, advance, and at the apex of their glory, they are extinguished. The Protheans were not the first. They did not create the Citadel. They did not forge the Mass Relays. They merely found them, the legacy of my kind. Your civilization is based on the technology of the Mass Relays. Our technology. By using it, your society develops along the paths we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it.”

As the pieces finally fell into place, Liara felt the sickening chill of dread rush over her like a cold shock of water. So, this was the truth. The proof she had been trying to find for decades. Confirmation that all of her theories about a cycle of extinction had been correct. This machine, this thing, was responsible for the precisely timed destruction of every known civilization in history. For the first time, Liara wished that she had been wrong. “They are harvesting us! Letting us advance to the level they need, then wiping us out!”

“What do you want from us?” Shepard snapped at the hologram. “Slaves? Resources?”

“My kind transcends your very understanding. We are each a nation, independent, free of all weakness. You cannot even grasp the nature of our existence. We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, we will endure.”

“Where are the rest of the Reapers? Are you the last of your kind?”

Sovereign pulsed again, almost as if it was laughing. “We are legion. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom.” The image - no, the memory - of death surged in Liara’s brain again, and a loud buzzing echoed in her skull, making her head throb and her ears ring. Desperately, she latched on to the thought that Shepard had to be experiencing far worse. She had not interacted with the Prothean beacon, and she was only witnessing Shepard’s visions. 

But Shepard did not seem to be in any pain. In fact, she was standing tall as she faced Sovereign, radiating determination and strength. Not for the first time, Liara was struck by the sheer power of her presence. In these moments, Shepard was like a vengeful god rather than a human. “You’re not even alive. Not really. You’re just a machine, and machines can be broken!” Her words filled the room, and even Sovereign hesitated before speaking again. 

“Your words are as empty as your future. I am the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over!”

Sovereign’s red light flickered out, and glass shattered around them as the windows lining the room blew apart. Liara brought up her arm, instinctively trying to shield her face as shards flew everywhere, scattering in all directions. For several moments, she remained that way, afraid of what she would see when she looked again.

“Commander!” The fuzzy sound of Joker’s voice coming from Shepard’s comm link finally convinced Liara to lower her arm. “We’ve got trouble.”

Shepard reached up, tapping the side of her helmet. “Hit me, Joker.”

“That ship, Sovereign? It’s moving. I don’t know what you did down there, but that thing just pulled a turn that would shear any of our ships in half. It’s coming your way, and it’s coming hard. You need to wrap things up in there, fast!”

Liara cast one last glance at the dead console that had been displaying Sovereign’s hologram mere moments before. She reached out, trying to touch the screen, but it did not respond to the pressure of her fingers. “This console is no longer functional. Ideas, Shepard?”

Shepard lifted her shotgun, turning away from the Prothean beacon and towards the exit. “Let’s head to the breeding facility. Joker can pick us up after we set the nuke.”


	20. Chapter 20

Liara tried to ignore the wetness seeping in through her supposedly waterproof boots as they splashed towards the Normandy. The sharp smell of fuel from the backup tanks and the glare of sun’s light bouncing off the geothermal taps made Liara wish that she had brought a helmet with her. It was normally unnecessary because of her protective barriers, and even cumbersome to fight while wearing one, but at least it would have done something to block out their surroundings. The thick, stagnant air was even hotter than before, and with walls surrounding them on all sides, there was no crosswind to give them relief from Virmire’s angry sun.

Shepard stopped as the Normandy’s ramp lowered, and Liara took her usual place at the Commander’s right shoulder, watching as several human crewmembers in protective black armour began descending into the water. Two of them were carrying a large, round object, and Liara recognized one of the figures as the group moved closer. “You ordered Lieutenant Alenko to oversee the nuclear device?” she asked Shepard, her brow furrowing a little. “Wouldn’t Tali have been a better choice?”

“He volunteered,” Shepard said, watching as one of the other soldiers began waving his arm to motion the bomb forward. “I think he felt bad after I sent Ashley with Kirrahe and wanted something to do.”

“Then why did you not take him with you as part of Team Shadow?”

“I thought Wrex deserved to get some of his own back on Saren after we found out what he was trying to do to the krogan.”

“You got that right, Shepard,” Wrex grunted, walking up to them with his usual heavy stride. “I want to make Saren pay for what he did.” He watched as Kaidan and the other soldier set the bomb down, apparently considering something. “But I’m not sure I want to be here when this bomb goes off. It’s one thing to let you destroy the cure and the new krogan that Saren made, you convinced me that it needs to be done, but I don’t want a part in it.”

Shepard nodded. “Fair enough, Wrex. You can report back to the Normandy. Send Tali out to replace you. She’s always good for hacking some geth.”

“You know that means you’ll have to be the muscle on Team Shadow now, Liara,” Wrex said, and Liara suppressed a smile as he gave her a relatively gentle pat on the back. “Take care of things when Shepard knocks herself out from headbutting the geth too hard.”

“I am sure I will be able to handle it, Wrex,” Liara said, waving as he headed towards the Normandy. Then, she turned back to Shepard. “You still have not answered my question, Commander. I understand why you selected Wrex, but why did you choose me for Team Shadow instead of Lieutenant Alenko?”

“Because Alenko can’t lift a fully grown krogan into the air and slam him back down,” Shepard answered, but somehow, Liara sensed that she was still not revealing the real reason for her decision.

“Lieutenant Alenko can also shoot far more accurately than I can. There is more than one way to stop a krogan.” Liara paused, debating with herself for a moment, but eventually reached out to touch Shepard’s arm, forcing the Commander to look into her face. “Why did you really choose me, Shepard?”

“I think you already know why.” To Liara’s surprise, Shepard reached up with her other hand, covering her fingers and clasping them briefly to reaffirm the touch. Although they had been affectionate in private before, this was the first public touching they had ever done aside from what was necessary for the meld in the debriefing room. Liara felt a lump rise in her throat as words began to swell within her, words she knew she should not say. She tried to swallow them down as she focused on the warmth of Shepard’s hand covering hers. 

Before Liara could say anything she might regret, Kaidan approached them, and Shepard let her hand fall, stepping a pace away as he saluted. “Bomb is in position. We’re all set here.”

“Good job, Lieutenant. Now, let’s arm it and get out of here.”

Suddenly, the comm link in Shepard’s helmet came to life again, and Ashley’s voice floated towards them, fading in and out beneath sharp cracks and booms. “Commander, can you read me?”

“I read you,” Shepard said, lifting her hand to the side of her head so that she could try and make out Ashley’s voice through the static. “The nuke is almost ready. Get to the rendezvous point, Williams!”

“Negative, Commander! The Geth… ve us pinned down on the AA tower. We’ve ta-... heavy casualties... never make the rendezvous point in time!”

“Get them out of there, Joker. Now!”

“Negative! It’s too hot - can’t risk it! We’ll hold them off as long as we…” Ashley’s voice cut out completely, leaving the three of them standing in heavy silence.

Kaidan cast a thoughtful glance back at the bomb over his shoulder. “It’s okay, Commander. I need more time to finish arming the bomb. Go get them and meet me back here!”

When Liara looked at Shepard’s face, it was set with determination. “Up to the AA Tower. Move!”

It only took Tali a minute to join them just outside the Normandy, but that minute felt like an eternity. Liara stood beside Shepard as they waited, half afraid that Ashley’s voice would come back over the comm link with more calls for help, and half afraid that it wouldn’t. She opened her mouth, debating whether to ask Shepard if she thought Chief Williams would be all right, but decided that no answer the Commander could give would satisfy her. 

“I’m here, Shepard,” Tali panted as she jogged down the ramp to meet them, pistol already in hand and Chiktikka floating beside her. “Any changes?” Even through her suit’s filter, the urgency in her voice was plain.

“None. Let’s move. We don’t have much time.”

Unlike the friendly banter Liara had shared with Wrex to lighten the mood during the first half of the mission, she and Tali were totally silent as they ghosted Shepard’s footsteps, heading towards the door to their right. The weight of Ashley’s absence hung over them instead. As Shepard stopped in front of the door, slamming her fist against the pressure pad, Liara spared one last look at Kaidan before drawing her pistol. He was crouched over the bomb, working on it with swift, sure hands.

Then, the door slid open, and gunfire greeted them before they could even pass through.

Instinctively, Liara took cover on one side of the door, pressing her back against the wall and peering over to catch a glimpse of the enemies they were facing. Her eyes widened when she saw three large krogan charging towards them, roaring as they splashed through the shallow water. One of them towered above the others, almost as large as Wrex, and he was covered from head to toe in heavy armor, clutching an assault rifle to his chest. Shepard charged towards him in a flash of blue, cutting through the water and knocking him back with a powerful grunt as their bodies collided. The krogan stumbled, but he shook off the attack in a matter of moments, tilting up his rifle and firing just Shepard’s shields dropped. 

 

“Liara, now! I’ve lowered their shields!” a voice shouted beside her, and Liara barely had time to duck back into cover as Chiktikka zoomed past her. Tali was typing furiously into her Omnitool, still crouched in a defensive position on the other side of the open door. “Take him out!”

There was no time to think. Instead, Liara simply reacted. She flung herself out from behind the doorway, throwing open her hands as light bloomed between them, gathering into a purple-black ball. With a shout of effort, she let it fly, sending it directly above the largest krogan’s head. This time, he stopped in his tracks, floating slowly up into the air and nearly dropping his rifle. The other two krogan began advancing on Shepard, but this time, she was prepared. Waiting until they were just yards away, Shepard pulled back for another charge, letting her shields flare around her as she struck Liara’s singularity.

Light exploded outward, and the water beneath Shepard and the krogan erupted like a geyser. All three krogan went flying in opposite directions, and when they finally landed, they did not get up again. Just in case, Liara drew her pistol, shooting at one of them as Shepard fired her shotgun directly into the largest krogan’s head. She heard a few blasts beside her, and glanced to her right just in time to see Tali finishing off the third krogan. 

The three of them fell back into position without a word, splashing over to the door on the other side of the trench. To their surprise, it opened into an elevator, and Liara hurried inside a few paces behind Shepard. At least, she thought, this one was empty. They had not been so lucky while fighting their way through the breeding facility. The elevator took a torturously long time to rise, and when it finally opened out onto another grilled metal catwalk, Liara took in a relieved gulp of air. She had not realized it, but she had been holding her breath.

As they stepped out of the elevator and back beneath the blazing sun, a loud rumble echoed overhead, and all of them stopped and turned towards the sky. A large geth ship whirred as it flew above them, and Liara tensed, preparing to duck back into the elevator. She recognized it immediately - a dropship, the same kind that they had destroyed on Feros. But either the ship did not seem to notice their presence, or it was intent on another target. It continued past them, painfully bright sunlight reflecting off its silver hull. “It appears the geth have sent reinforcements,” she said, following the ship’s path with her eyes.

Ashley’s voice broke in over the comm link again. “Head’s up, LT. Just spotted a troop ship headed to your location!”

As they all watched, the ship ducked behind the nearest wall, falling out of sight. Tali shook her head in concern. “Isn’t that the trench where we left -”

This time, it was Kaidan’s voice that came over the comm. “It’s already here! There’s geth pouring out all over the bomb site?”

“Can you hold them off?” Shepard asked, pacing over to the edge of the catwalk and bracing herself against the railing. Her muscles were tensed, as if she wanted to run, but did not know which direction to go.

“There’s too many! I don’t think we can survive until you get here.” There was a pause, and once again, Liara stopped breathing. “... I’m activating the bomb.”

Immediately, Shepard’s head shot up, and she let go of the railing. “Alenko, what are you doing?”

“I’m just making sure this bomb goes off no matter what. It’s done, Commander. Go get Williams, and get the hell out of here!”

“Screw that!” Ashley shouted, her voice popping and wavering through the weak connection. “We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko!” But even as she said it, all of them could hear the sounds of heavy gunfire overlapping with her words.

For just a moment, Shepard glanced at her, and Liara could see the undecided panic in her eyes. She opened her mouth, trying to speak, but it took a moment for the words to come. “Williams, radio Joker and tell him to meet us at the AA Tower.”

“But Commander, I-”

“It’s the right choice, and you know it, Ash!” Kaidan shouted. Gunfire was beginning to pour in over his connection as well.

“I’m so sorry, Kaidan,” Shepard whispered, almost too soft for Liara to hear. “I had to make a choice.” She was no longer the angry, defiant god who had faced down Sovereign, but weak, fragile, and all too human. Liara wanted nothing more than to reach out, but she resisted, staying several paces back. This was not her place. Kaidan had witnessed her mother’s death. He had comforted her after Noveria. Whatever feelings he had for Shepard, they did not matter now. Liara refused to take these last moments away from him and make them about her instead. 

Kaidan’s voice filtered back over the comm. The sureness in it made Liara’s eyes sting. “I understand, Commander. I don’t regret a thing.”


	21. Chapter 21

Liara threw herself to the ground as fire exploded over her head, raining down on her from all sides. This, she realized with a sinking feeling, was what they had heard over the comm when Ashley tried to radio them earlier - an endless torrent of geth, crawling out from behind every corner and crate and fuel tank, advancing fearlessly no matter how many warps she launched or how many heatsinks she went through. 

Thank goodness they had brought Tali, she thought as she crawled behind the nearest wall. Otherwise, all of them would have died several minutes ago. The quarian was in her element, hacking the geth almost as fast as they came. Not only could she bring down their shields, but she actually made them turn on each other, forcing them to fight until their bodies jerked and fell apart, slumping lifelessly to the ground. 

“Almost there,” Liara heard Shepard grunt beside her, raising her glowing blue shields for another charge. “Just a little further…”

Liara risked a glance around the corner of the wall. Despite Tali’s efforts, the short distance between them and the AA tower was swarming with geth of all kinds. “Shepard, there are too many of them! We need more time -”

“The others don’t have time! We move together, all three of us. Don’t bother killing the geth, just force your way past them. Kaidan’s down there giving his life for us, and I’ll be damned if I’m letting Ashley go, too!”

As if she had heard her name, Ashley’s voice came over the comm, a desperate, frantic plea. “You need to move fast, Commander, we can’t hold them off much longer!”

Beside them, Tali looked up from her Omnitool. “This is it, Shepard,” she said. “Are we making a run for it?” 

Shepard nodded once, lifting her arm over her head and motioning forward. “Let’s move!” 

Together, they burst out from behind the wall, charging the ranks of geth. Liara activated her barriers, not even bothering to toss warps at the platforms firing on them. Instead, she sprinted, using every ounce of breath in her lungs to surge forward. Her vision jerked from side to side as she tried to track Shepard’s movements, but it was almost impossible to follow her through the horde of geth. There were more than she had ever seen before, more than she had ever even imagined…

The tall white body of a geth prime stepped directly into Liara’s path, cutting in front of her before she could even raise her pistol. It stared down at her with the large, shining light of its single eye, and she came to an abrupt halt, backing up swiftly. It raised its rifle, firing at her with several heavy blasts, and her barrier wavered, flickering around her as she gritted her teeth with the effort of maintaining it.

Suddenly, a loud boom echoed in Liara’s ears, and the geth crumpled to the floor. “Watch the corners, suppressing fire!” a voice shouted from beside her. Ashley’s voice, and not just from Shepard’s helmet. She was a few feet away, and still very much alive, firing her treasured shotgun directly into any geth that dared to come close. “T’Soni! You’re here! Where’s She- oh, shit…” Liara whirled around, sprinting to stand beside Ashley as another wave of geth approached from behind them, weapons raised. “Now would be a really good time for you to use those biotics of yours!” she called out, retreating swiftly towards the two fuel tanks that were their only source of cover. 

Liara saw a flash of blue out of the corner of her eye, and felt a surge of confidence. Shepard. She knew what she needed to do. 

Throwing out her arms, she summoned another singularity field, aiming it directly between the geth and shouting with exertion as she sent it hurtling towards them. The platforms continued firing, not breaking their position even when the purple-blue ball was hovering directly over their heads. They began rising into the air, tilting at crazy angles, and several of them dropped their weapons.

That was when Shepard charged, bursting from the midst another group with Tali at her heels. While Tali slowed the pack of geth following them, forcing the platforms to turn on one another, Shepard let her biotics flare, raising her shields just in time to ignite Liara’s attack. The hovering geth exploded in a burst of brilliant blue and white, scrapmetal and wire sparking as it flew in all directions.

“Williams!” Shepard staggered towards them, picking her way over the fallen body parts of the geth and heading for the fuel tanks. “Status report.”

“You’ve cleared most of them out,” Ashley said as Tali picked off the last of the geth, causing them to seize and collapse in on themselves. “Thank God for Tali. Maybe there’s still time to go back and grab Alenko if we -”

There was another loud whirring sound above them, and all of them looked up just in time to see a swift shadow pass overhead. Liara squinted, raising her hand to shield her eyes as she tried to make out what it was, but before she could get a good look, a wave of blue energy blasted around them, knocking her back. “Get away from the fuel tanks - now!” Shepard barked from somewhere to her left, and once again, Liara found herself sprinting for the nearest gap beside the wall. She ducked into it, feeling another body slide in beside her. It was Tali, her chest heaving as she scrambled for her pistol. 

“Keelah, what was that?”

This time, when Liara looked up, she managed to make out where the rippling blue energy was coming from. Although she had never seen him before, she knew the turian hovering above them instantly. “It’s Saren,” she whispered. “We’ve finally found him.”

The hovercraft began to lower, and Saren hopped over the edge, hitting the ground with a surprisingly loud thud. There was a blur of movement somewhere off to the side, and Liara instinctively summoned her biotics and let them flicker about her hands as Shepard burst out from cover, drawing her pistol and firing directly at Saren’s chest. He did not fall. He did not stagger. He did not even move. Blue light shone around him for a brief moment, and Liara swallowed. Obviously, he was a powerful biotic despite being a turian, more powerful than Liara had expected. 

Although Saren had sloughed off her shots, Shepard remained facing him, still aiming her pistol at his chest. Saren stepped forward, but stopped several yards away, refusing to respond with an attack. Liara held her breath.

“This has been an impressive diversion, Shepard,” he called out. “My geth were utterly convinced that the salarians were the real threat. Of course, it was all for nothing. I can’t let you disrupt what I’ve accomplished here. You can’t possibly understand what’s really at stake.”

Liara could not make out Shepard’s expression past the glare of the sunlight above them, but she recognized her tall, defiant posture. All signs of weakness, fear, and doubt were gone. “Why are you doing this?”

“You’ve seen the vision from the beacon, Shepard! You of all people should understand what the Reapers are capable of. They cannot be stopped. Do not mire yourself in pointless revolt. Do not sacrifice everything for the sake of petty freedoms.” Saren paced to the side, obviously restless, moving with predatory grace, but he did not turn his back on Shepard. “The Protheans tried to fight, and they were utterly destroyed. Trillions dead, but what if they had bowed before the invaders? Would the Protheans still exist? Is submission not preferable to extinction?”

Shepard’s arm remained steady, and she shook her head, obviously unimpressed by Saren’s words. “Do you really believe the Reapers will let us live?”

“Now you see why I never came forward to the Council! We organics are driven by emotion instead of logic. We will fight, even when we know we cannot win. But if we work with the Reapers, if we make ourselves useful, think how many lives could be spared! Once I understood this, I joined Sovereign, although I was aware of the… dangers. I had hoped this facility could protect me.”

“You’re afraid Sovereign is influencing you. You’re afraid he’s controlling your thoughts.”

Liara felt her stomach drop. So, Saren was a pawn to Sovereign as well. Just like her mother had been. Just like they all would be, if the Reapers were permitted to return. She supposed it was inevitable, after what they had discovered. But how were they supposed to fight an enemy that could control their very minds?

“I’ve studied the effects of indoctrination,” Saren said, looking slightly fearful for the first time. “The more control Sovereign exerts, the less capable the subject becomes. That is my saving grace. Sovereign needs me to find the conduit. My mind is still my own… for now. But the transformation from ally to servant can be subtle. I will not let it happen to me.”

“Tell me why Sovereign needs the conduit. Tell me what it is. Maybe we can find a way to stop them!”

Saren raised his fist, clenching his talons. “The conduit is the key to your destruction, and my salvation. Sovereign needs my help to find it. That is the only reason I have not been indoctrinated.”

“Sovereign’s manipulating you, and you don’t even know it,” Shepard said, desperation edging her voice. “You’re already under its power. But we don’t have to submit to the Reapers, we can beat them!””

“No!” Saren roared, and blue light flashed around him, a physical manifestation of his rage. Liara felt her own biotics flicker, and her muscles coiled as she prepared to launch herself out from around the corner. This conversation was quickly devolving into a fight, and when it did, she would be ready. Puppet or not, Saren was the one responsible for her mother’s death. “Sovereign needs me! If I find the conduit, I’ve been promised a reprieve from the inevitable. The only hope of survival is to join with them. Sovereign is a machine, it thinks like a machine. If I can prove my value, I become a resource worth maintaining! There is no other logical conclusion.”

“You were a Spectre,” Shepard spat. “You were sworn to defend the Galaxy. Then, you broke that vow to save yourself!”

“I’m not doing this for myself. Don’t you see? Sovereign will succeed. It is inevitable. My way is the only way any of us will survive. I’m forging an alliance between us and the Reapers, between organics and machines, and in doing so, I will save more lives than have ever existed! But you would undo my work. You would doom our entire civilization to complete annihilation. And for that, you must die.”

When Shepard fired her pistol, Liara exploded out from cover. Energy rushed along her arms, swimming out from her in waves as she focused all of her attention directly on Saren. But he was already gone, leaping back onto his hovercraft and zooming backwards through the air.

“Stop him!” Liara heard Ashley cry from somewhere behind her. “Don’t let him get away!”

Liara threw warp after warp at the hovercraft, trying to blast it apart with sheer force, tapping in to every piece of rage and loss in her shredded heart to give her strength. It rocked and jolted, but Saren did not fall off. Instead, fire erupted at their feet, knocking them backwards as they scrambled to get away. 

“Grenades!” Tali shouted. “He’s got-”

As Liara picked herself up, stumbling back onto her feet, she saw that Shepard had remained upright. She was not shooting at Saren. Instead, her pistol was aimed directly at one of the large white fuel tanks, firing again and again into its side. Everything clicked. Summoning the last of her strength, Liara launched one final warp. 

This time, it hit its mark. The fuel tank blew up with a loud boom, sending balls of fire and shards of metal everywhere. Saren leapt off his hovercraft, landing back on the ground as he tried to shield himself from the blast. He managed. Shepard didn’t. The force of the exploding fuel tank sent her sprawling onto the ground, stretched out before Saren as he came closer.

Before Liara could move, could react, could even think, Saren had Shepard in his grip, lifting her up past the side of the wall with impossible strength and dangling her precariously over the edge. Liara tried to summon her biotics, but they would not come, hampered by exhaustion and fear. Her legs shook beneath her, but somehow, she managed to draw her pistol with a trembling hand. Even though she knew it was useless, and even though she had seen the way Shepard’s shots had merely fallen away before the strength of Saren’s barrier, she pulled the trigger, praying to the Goddess that she would not miss, and Shepard’s practices with her had been worth something.

The shots struck Saren’s back, and he turned, startled by the noise and the sudden jolt to his barriers. Taking advantage of his distraction, Shepard surged forward. Her fist collided with Saren’s face, and both of them fell away from the edge of the tower, scrambling over the ground as they finally separated.

This time, when Saren picked himself up, he did not try and attack again. Instead, he ran for his hovercraft, leaping aboard and speeding off into the sky. Liara watched as Shepard ran after him, firing her own pistol blindly into the air, but she knew it was useless. Saren was already becoming smaller and smaller, disappearing into the grey clouds that had finally started passing in front of the hot, blinding sun.


	22. Chapter 22

Kaidan Alenko was dead.

Even though no one said it, no one spoke of it when the bright light flashed from the surface of Virmire, the entire crew felt the loss. They all stood together on the bridge in complete silence, unwilling to leave. Knowing they had left Kaidan behind while he was alive on Virmire, it seemed wrong to abandon him in death as well.

Liara stayed with the rest of the crew, rooted to her chosen spot a few yards away from Joker’s chair, wondering why she was here and Kaidan was not. She could not bring herself to look at Shepard. Instead, she glanced towards Ashley, who was doing her best to conceal a tortured expression and failing miserably. Ashley, Liara knew, felt the same way she did, probably to an even greater degree. She sighed quietly, gazing back out into the darkness of space over Joker’s shoulder. Even the weak light from the scattering of stars seemed cold.

As Virmire became smaller and smaller, disappearing completely as the Normandy pulled away, the silence over them finally broke. Ashley spoke first, and everyone turned to look at her, including Shepard. “I - I can’t believe Kaidan didn’t make it, Commander. How could we just leave him down there?”

“He gave his life to save the rest of us, Ash,” Shepard said, but even though her voice was steady, the pain in her eyes was unmistakable. “Kaidan knew the risks going in. He knew the mission needed to come first.”

Instead of pacifying her, Shepard’s words only seemed to make Ashley’s hurt worse. She clenched her teeth until the muscles in her jaw bunched, blinking rapidly to keep from letting any tears escape. Liara felt her own eyes sting a little in sympathy. “It should have been me, Commander. You know it. I know it. Kaidan knew it, too. Why do you think he asked to stay behind? He wanted to get me out of there, even though I shouldn’t have...” Her voice broke, and she swallowed thickly.

Shepard crossed the short distance between them, forcing Ashley to meet her eyes. “It wasn’t your call, Williams. Losing Kaidan was my fault. My mistake. You shouldn’t have to live with it, too. Stop blaming yourself.”

“I’m sorry, Commander.” Ashley spoke slowly, as if she was afraid that her words would desert her again. “You saved my life, I’m grateful for that, but it should have been me. Alenko was a superior officer. I would have gladly stayed behind.”

“Ash, how are are you going to drive yourself?” Shepard asked, reaching out and clasping one of Ashley’s shoulders. She stiffened under the touch, but did not pull away. “Are you trying to be a martyr? To redeem your grandfather’s honor?”

“That’s not fair...” she began, but Shepard did not let her finish.

“What the public and the military did to him was unfair, but I don’t want to lose a good soldier over it. I’ve already lost one.”

For a moment, the two soldiers stared at each other, communicating silently in a way that Liara could not understand. Finally, Ash stepped back and gave Shepard a firm salute. “Aye aye, Commander.”

The rest of the crew remained silent for another minute, pretending they had not heard the exchange, but unable to think of anything else. Liara looked just past Shepard’s head, at an unassuming spot on the wall without any panels or lights. She wondered if death hurt. If Kaidan had suffered when he died. If her mother had suffered. Perhaps when it finally came, death was painless. She hoped so, but fragmented images of the Reapers and the Protheans kept swirling through her mind. She doubted that any of their deaths had been peaceful.

Liara’s eyes finally drifted from the wall to Shepard’s face. The Commander was still staring out of the window, either searching for the tiny, invisible speck that had been Virmire, or trying to escape her own thoughts. Her color was pale again, the same unhealthy shade that it had been after she received the cipher. The cipher… the beacon… Liara shuddered, looking away again. She had spent her whole life searching for evidence of the Prothean extinction, searching for working Prothean technology to prove her theories, but now, a selfish part of her wished that she had never learned the truth.

Finally, the noise in Liara’s head crescendoed to an unbearable level, and she spoke out, causing the rest of the crew to look at her. Shepard turned last, tearing her eyes away from the empty blackness that stretched out in front of the ship. “Commander, excuse me for interrupting, but I have an idea. I think the beacon we found in Saren’s base was similar to the one you found on Eden Prime. It may have filled in the missing pieces of your vision. I might be able to help you put all those pieces together.”

“You want to join our minds again, don’t you?” Shepard stepped forward, reaching out with both of her hands. Hesitantly, Liara began to remove her gloves, tucking them into the side pocket of her jumpsuit before lacing her fingers with Shepard’s. The Commander’s palms were ice cold. “Okay. Go ahead.”

“Relax, Commander,” Liara murmured, although she knew that nothing could dispel the tension in Shepard’s body. “Embrace eternity!”

_Fire. Descending from the sky, burning, choking. Loud, red blasts of light drowning out the screams._

_‘I should have saved him. I should have done better. I should have -’_

_Giant metal teeth. Consuming everything. Black claws, hulking shapes that blotted out the sun. Countless numbers, an endless swarm._

Liara reeled, nearly overwhelmed by the pain radiating from the vision and from Shepard. It was impossible to separate them out. She squeezed Shepard’s hands tighter, afraid that she would fall, but tried to offer comfort.

_‘This was not your fault. None of this was your...’_

_A loud cry, a warning, a plea for help, for deliverance from the end of the universe._

_The vision flashed, tilted, zoomed in on a planet baking beneath the same dying red sun. It was green, primal, overgrown, dotted with grey buildings worn down by thousands of years of rain and wind and sun. Alien, but also familiar…_

Liara opened her eyes, panting as she let go of Shepard’s hands and stepped away. She saw the Commander’s lips move, but it took several moments for her scattered mind to process the sounds. “Liara? What did you see? Did the vision make any sense to you?”

“It’s…” Liara hesitated, but the more distance she put between herself and the meld, the more certain she became. “A distress call! A message sent out across the Prothean empire. A warning against the Reapers, but... the warning came too late.”

“What about the conduit?” Shepard asked desperately. “Did you find out where it was?”

“There were other images, locations, places I recognize from my research.” Liara tried to recall the abandoned world of green and grey, knowing that she had seen it somewhere before, although the name was just out of reach... “Ilos! The conduit is on Ilos! That is why Saren needed to find the Mu Relay. It is the only way to get to Ilos!”

“How come you never told us about Ilos before?”

Liara let out a long, shuddering breath. “The Mu Relay links to dozens of systems and hundreds of worlds. How was I to know that Ilos was the one we wanted? Without the missing pieces from the beacon, the images in your visions were never clear, but this time, I was able to recognize a few landmarks. The way to Ilos has been lost for over four thousand years, but several old holos of the planet still exist. I even used some of them for my thesis.” 

“Then we need to get to Ilos,” Shepard said, her face setting with determination.

From a few feet away, Tali spoke up. “Forget it. The Mu Relay’s inside the Terminus Systems. Alliance ships are not welcome there. Neither are SpecTRes.”

“The conduit’s on Ilos,” Shepard insisted. “That’s where Saren’s headed, and we’re going to be waiting for him when he gets there.”

Liara shook her head, slightly fearful of the fire in Shepard’s eyes. She had tasted Shepard’s guilt through the meld, and however determined the Commander had been to find Saren before, Kaidan’s death was driving her even harder now. “Saren will have his entire fleet orbiting Ilos. You will never make it down to the surface without reinforcements. You must alert the Council.”

“The Council?” Wrex grunted, making a noise of disgust. “Since when have those cowards listened to us? We should go to Ilos now, hit Saren while he’s not expecting it!”

Shepard looked torn for a moment, but finally, she let out a resigned sigh. “We need all the help we can get,” she said. When Wrex still did not look convinced, she continued. “Besides, there are over thirteen million people living on the Citadel. There’s no guarantee that we’ll get to the conduit before Saren, and if the Reapers do come back before we can stop them, the Citadel is bound to be their first target. We need to warn them.”

“Commander,” Joker said, speaking up from the pilot’s seat, “there’s a comm buoy nearby. I can link us in if you want to report back to the Council.”

“Better you than me,” Wrex grumbled, still looking put out. “I wouldn’t be able to stand talking to those useless idiots.”

Shepard nodded. “Set up the link, Joker. I’ll head to the comm room. The rest of you are dismissed.”


	23. Chapter 23

Several hours later, Liara stared blankly at the screen of her terminal, letting the soft glow wash over her face. She blinked, trying to make sense of the data in front of her. Several universities on Thessia, including the University of Serrice, had tried to plot routes to Ilos over the years, but all of their plans for a scientific expedition there had been aborted. Without the location of the Mu Relay, the journey was estimated to take decades at best, and that was not even taking in to account the danger of exploring unknown worlds at the outskirts of the hostile Terminus System. Still, what little information the University’s research team had gathered would be useful when the time came for them to pass through the Relay and find Ilos.

A soft noise made Liara blink and turn away from her monitor. This time, she was not surprised by the familiar sound of the doors opening behind her, and knew who it was without even looking. She had known that Shepard would come to see her before they arrived at the Citadel. Even with the Mass Relays, it was still a little over a day’s journey from Virmire. Liara turned in her chair, standing up as Shepard approached her desk. Briefly, she thought about teasing the Commander for checking up on her yet again, but some part of her knew that it was not an appropriate time. 

“How are you holding up, Liara?” Shepard asked, taking her usual spot beside Liara as she leaned against the edge of the desk. She looked exhausted, and the line of her shoulders seemed pressed down by the weight of grief and responsibility. 

“I should the one asking you that question, Shepard,” Liara said. Feeling brave, and also wanting to offer comfort for some of the pain and anger she had sensed through their earlier meld, she reached out and placed her hand on top of Shepard’s, giving it a light squeeze. She was pleased when Shepard accepted the touch instead of pulling away.

“I just got back from a talk with Williams. She’s still beating herself up, blaming herself for Kaidan’s death.”

Liara sighed, not surprised at all. “It has been less than a day, Shepard. Give her some time. And what about you? Are you blaming yourself?”

“That’s different,” Shepard said, a wrinkle forming on her brow. “I’m the one at fault. I ordered him to stay behind.”

“He volunteered.”

“That doesn’t mean I should have listened to him.” Liara could feel Shepard’s fingers grip the desk tighter beneath her palm. “I’ve thought a lot about what you said…”

“What I said?”

Shepard turned, her green eyes glinting with more wetness in them than usual. “The question you asked me on Virmire. Why I chose you for Team Shadow. I was telling the truth - it’s useful to have you around when you can lift a fully-grown krogan into the air like it’s nothing. But then I imagined what I would have done if you had been the one arming the bomb instead of Kaidan. Would I still have saved Ashley, or would I have gone back to get you? Just because I...” She hung her head again, staring back down into her lap. 

Liara traced her thumb along Shepard’s knuckles, across the ridge of a thick white scar and over the callouses. Somehow, over the course of the last few months, she had become familiar with them. How they looked, how they felt. Silence hung between them, and Liara wondered if Shepard would continue speaking at all. 

Finally, Shepard swallowed and kept going. “I could justify my choice to the brass if I wanted. Tell them that I wanted to save more than just one life by going to help Kirrahe’s soldiers. Say that I trusted Alenko to make sure that the bomb went off no matter what, just like he said, but knew that the group at the AA Tower was going to be slaughtered by geth. And it would be true. But not the whole truth. The truth is, Kaidan deserved better.”

“We all deserved better,” Liara said. She let go of Shepard’s hand, reaching up to touch the side of her face instead, turning it towards hers. “Kaidan. Ashley.” Her thumb brushed the point of Shepard’s cheek, trying to bring some color to the pale skin there. “Us. I was in your mind, Shepard. Even through the pain and fear of the beacon’s warning, I felt your pain. Your loss. Please, do not tell yourself that you are indifferent to those under your command. It is not true.”

Shepard sighed. “I’m not indifferent. That’s the problem. I care too much, especially about you. I had to choose between Alenko and Williams this time. But what if next time...”

“Next time, we will defeat Saren. Then, it will not matter anymore.” 

“You really think it’s that simple, huh?” Shepard asked, her lips twitching into a weak, tired smile. “Defeat Saren, avenge Kaidan’s death, save the galaxy?”

“I know it is not that simple,” Liara said, returning Shepard’s smile. “But that does not mean it is impossible, either.”

“Well, if we do save the galaxy, I promise to take you on a real date,” Shepard said, reaching up to touch Liara’s hand as it rested against her cheek. Firm, solid fingers wrapped around hers, moving them ever so slightly... When warm lips touched the center of her palm, she forgot to breathe. And when Shepard placed another hot, open-mouthed kiss to the tender skin on the inside of her wrist, Liara feared her heart would stop as well.

“I feel so guilty for this,” Shepard murmured, her lips still a breath away from Liara’s skin. “Here I am, with you, on the edge of… something. But there’s so much else at stake, and people have already died to give us the chance to stop Saren. And right now, I just can’t-”

Gently, Liara pulled her hand away, feeling the loss more acutely than she had expected. The back of her head buzzed with sensation, and for a moment, she felt dizzy. Then, she blinked to try and clear her head. “I know, Shepard. Things are… difficult right now. But after this is over, I promise, we will go on that date. And the whole crew will have time to say a proper goodbye to Kaidan.”

“And to your mother,” Shepard added, leaning back a little further on the desk to put a few inches of space between them. To Liara, it felt like a mile. “She deserved better, too.”

Liara’s eyes flickered down into her lap. “I have been thinking about Benezia a great deal lately, and Saren as well. I actually feel a little sorry for him now.”

Even without a firm explanation, Shepard understood what she was trying to say immediately. “He’s become a slave to the Reapers and he can’t even see it.”

“He is trapped inside his own mind, just like my mother,” Liara whispered. “Part of him must sense his identity slowly being swallowed up by Sovereign, but he is powerless to stop it. I wonder how he first fell into Sovereign’s trap. Did he think he could somehow stop the Reapers from returning? Was he trying to change the course of the river like Benezia? Or was he simply driven by a lust for power and glory?”

Shepard’s smile flickered out, replaced by a firm frown of determination. “Whatever Saren’s reasons may have been, they’re long gone now. He has to be stopped.”

“Yes, I suppose you are right. He may be Sovereign’s victim, but he is also a threat to all life as we know it.” Liara glanced up at Shepard’s face again, feeling slightly guilty for bringing up the mission during one of their few free moments alone. She found that she missed Shepard’s smile, and wanted to see it again. “Ah, let’s not spend every free minute talking about Saren. It is bad enough that we are chasing him across the galaxy.”

“Fair point,” Shepard said. “What do you want to talk about instead?”

“Something… other than all this,” she began, unsure what topic to suggest. “Perhaps you can tell me where you plan to take me when this is over. When we finally have some time to ourselves.”

Shepard frowned again, but this time, her expression was simply thoughtful. “I honestly don’t know. I know where not to take you… nowhere crowded, nowhere busy or loud. Places like Flux or Chora’s Den are right out.”

“I am sure I would enjoy myself there as long as I was with you,” Liara said, although she was incredibly relieved that Shepard understood her so well.

“The Presidium has some green places,” Shepard suggested after a moment. “We could walk through them. Stop at an outdoor cafe, maybe…”

Liara smiled, forgetting her own guilt and exhaustion and losing herself in the healing fantasy. “What then?” she asked, hoping that Shepard was taking some comfort from imagining this, too.

“We’ll find a quiet spot by the lake. Talk. Learn more about each other.”

“And after that, we could go back to - well, a hotel, I suppose…” Liara blushed, surprised by her own boldness. “Somewhere nice. Somewhere that provides room service.”

“Definitely somewhere with a ‘do not disturb’ light on the door,” Shepard added. 

Liara stared into her eyes, reading the hunger in them, and began to question waiting at all. “And what would we do there?” she asked, even though she knew she shouldn’t.

“Anything you want,” Shepard breathed. Slowly, she began to lean forward, and for one timeless second, Liara thought their lips would brush. Then, Shepard seemed to shake herself, blinking to clear her eyes. “I should go,” she said sadly, pushing up off the desk. “This isn’t right. Not so soon after… not when we still have to…”

Liara swallowed and nodded her head, shoving down her disappointment. Now was not the time. There was too much at stake. “You are right. But… thank you for helping me to forget everything for a few moments. And I hope you know that I do want… that I am looking forward to - oh, never mind. I am not very good at this.”

Shepard gave her another smile, and Liara’s heart leapt. “I disagree. I have a feeling you’re going to be very good at this.” Then, she turned and left the room, leaving Liara alone as she tried to sort out her feelings of relief and disappointment.


	24. Chapter 24

The next day, Liara found herself wandering the lower decks of the Normandy, desperate to escape from her lab for a little while. Although she usually appreciated having her own private area to work, the knowledge that Shepard was currently speaking before the Council had her bubbling over with excess energy and a good deal of nervousness. Upon their arrival at the Citadel, Shepard had ordered everyone to remain on the ship, only allowing Ashley to accompany her to the Citadel tower. Although Liara understood the need for the crew to stay aboard the Normandy, since they might need to leave for Ilos at any moment, she wished she had been able to go with Shepard instead.

Riding down in the elevator seemed to take even longer than usual, and Liara rocked back on her heels, staring through the gaps in the lift’s sides and watching the wall crawl by. Finally, it shuddered to a stop, and she hurried out as soon as the doors were open, even though she had no particular destination in mind. The first thing she saw when she stepped out into the hangar was Ashley Williams in furious discussion with Wrex, Garrus, and Tali. All of them had identical expressions of anger on their faces, and she hurried to join them.

After a few steps, she began to hear snippets of their conversation.

“I can’t believe that snake sold us out!” Ashley said, throwing up her hands in exasperation. “As if the Council wasn’t bad enough… but to have our own Ambassador tell us to fuck off...” She made a grating, frustrated noise in the back of her throat, clearly too agitated to continue.

“That’s why I hate politics,” Garrus muttered darkly. “Politicians are always too busy covering their asses to do anything useful. C-Sec is the same. Now you see why I quit.”

Finally, Liara stepped up to the rest of the group, and they all turned to look at her.

“The Council decided that Shepard’s making everything up about Saren and the Reapers,” Wrex told her, although Liara had already guessed. “They think Saren’s going to attack the Citadel instead. They worthless pyjaks won’t send anyone after him.”

“That - that is terrible!” Liara stammered, feeling her own anger begin to bubble up. “And after everything Shepard has done for them… She has followed every order, completed every mission they assigned her, risked her life-”

“I know,” Ashley said, clenching her hands into fists at her sides. “They’ve been treating her like some kind of glorified errand-girl instead of an actual SpecTRe. But Udina’s even worse. He didn’t even care about what we’d been through, or about Kaidan. When the Council screwed us over, I thought he might actually grow a spine and stand up to them for once. But, no. That was too much to ask.”

“Well,” Liara said. “if they will not listen to the truth, we should go after him ourselves.”

“That’s impossible,” Tali said morosely. “The Normandy’s in lockdown. Apparently, Udina doesn’t trust Shepard to command her own ship. He thinks she’ll go to Ilos against the Council’s orders.”

Ashley snorted. “And he’s right. Udina isn’t completely stupid, just a traitorous bastard.”

“There’s no way around the lockdown?” Garrus asked, his mandibles quivering.

Tali sighed. “Not unless we’re prepared to blast a hole through the docking bay doors.”

“I am going to find Shepard,” Liara said, glancing back towards the elevator. “There must be some other way…”

“Better you than any of us,” Wrex said. “I saw her when she came back onto the ship, and she looked… weak.”

Liara’s stomach dropped towards her toes. There were many adjectives that she could use to describe Shepard, but weak was never one of them. Something was incredibly wrong. “We will find a way out of this,” she said, glancing around the circle, “even if we do have to tell Joker to aim the Normandy’s canons at the docking bay doors.”

“Damn right, T’Soni.” Ashley gave Liara an approving nod. “Go find the Commander. Once you talk to her, I hope she’ll give Joker the order herself.”

“Where can I find her?”

“The last time I saw her, she was near the lockers upstairs,” Tali said. Without saying goodbye, Liara turned back towards the lift, hurrying away from the others and opening the doors.

Just as Tali had said, Liara found Shepard slumped against the lockers with her head hanging between her knees. Her short hair was even more disheveled than usual, as if she had been running her fingers through it in agitation. The line of her shoulders sagged with exhaustion, and although she looked up when Liara approached her, she could not bring herself to smile. The broken look on her face tugged at Liara’s heart.

“Commander… Shepard…” she murmured, somehow feeling that using Shepard’s name was more appropriate while she was trying to offer comfort. “I cannot believe they did this to you. I am so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Shepard sighed, tilting her head back and resting it against the closest locker. “Ashley told you what happened, huh?” she said, resting her arms on top of her knees. 

Liara nodded. “Yes. She was outraged on your behalf… as am I. It is not right. You did everything the Council asked and more. Nobody else could have done what you did. The Council owes you everything - everything! Instead, they strip you of your command and ground the Normandy!”

“I don’t care if they ground me, but they refuse to send anyone after Saren,” Shepard said, her eyes narrowing as she spoke his name. “If they don’t stop him from finding the conduit, we’re all dead.”

“Perhaps we could appeal and get them to reverse their decision?” Liara asked, but even though she tried to force hopefulness into her words, she knew it was an impossible suggestion. The Council was heavily invested in maintaining peace, even when it meant pretending that very real dangers did not exist. Another petition would not change their minds.

Shepard stared down at her feet again, refusing to meet Liara’s eyes. “I pushed them as hard as I could - they wouldn’t budge.”

“So you’re going to walk away?” Liara snapped, growing slightly annoyed with Shepard’s defeated posture and tone. She had seen her Commander face down impossible odds and fight her way through situations that should have killed them all. This was not like her at all. “You will just give up and doom the entire galaxy to extinction? Where is the woman who stood before Sovereign and told it that machines could be broken? The woman who faced down Saren when-”

“That was you, not me,” Shepard said, looking up again. Weariness was written in the lines on her face, and she suddenly looked much older than she was. “He would have killed me if you hadn’t shot him.”

“It does not matter. You have saved me countless times during missions, and we both would have been killed on Virmire anyway if not for Tali and Kaidan. We have to find a way to stop Saren. Kaidan did not die so that we could just give up.”

Hurt flashed briefly in Shepard’s eyes, and for a moment, Liara feared that she had gone too far. But then Shepard swallowed, and some of the tightness in her face smoothed over. Her shoulders shifted, and this time, their set was determined. “We’re out of the game for now, but I’ll find a way back in.”

Liara smiled, reaching out and offering Shepard one of her hands. “I believe in you, Shepard. I am with you every step of the way.” 

Shepard reached out, clasping Liara’s hand and climbing quickly to her feet. The brief tug as she took some of Shepard’s weight pulled Liara a step forward, and the two of them stumbled towards each other. This time, Liara was able to look directly into the vivid green of Shepard’s eyes, watching as they drew closer and closer. Instinctively, she dipped her head forward, until there was only a breath of space between them…

The warmth of Shepard’s lips against hers sent a shock through Liara’s entire body. For a hot second, her world condensed, and there was nothing but press of Shepard’s mouth. Then, when Liara finally realized that Shepard was kissing her - or, perhaps, that she was kissing Shepard, she could not be sure - she froze, unsure what to do. But Shepard did not seem to expect anything of her. She simply held still, allowing Liara time to adjust. Several heartbeats passed before her hand raised to cup the side of Liara’s cheek, stroking along the side of her face.

Liara let out a small whimper into Shepard’s mouth, tilting her head further and parting her lips instinctively. Her entire body tingled as Shepard took the invitation, swiping over her lower lip with a soft, smooth tongue. The wordless request made Liara forget to breathe, and she clutched desperately at the material of Shepard’s shirt, opening her mouth even further so that Shepard could-

“Sorry to interrupt, Commander. There’s a message from Captain Anderson.” The sound of Joker’s voice coming over the comm startled both of them, and Liara felt an incredible loss as the kiss broke. Her heart started beating again, pounding wildly in her chest, and she raised her hand to her lips, touching them lightly with her fingertips.

“What did he want?” Shepard asked, folding her arms over her chest and practically glaring up at the ceiling even though Joker could not see her.

“Only said to meet him in that club in the wards, Flux.”

“We should probably go meet with him,” Liara said sadly. She could still feel the ghostly pressure of Shepard’s lips against hers even though the kiss had ended several seconds ago.

Shepard nodded. “Right. Hopefully, he can think of some way to help us off the Citadel.” She paused, giving Liara a smile. “Hey… thanks, Liara. For pulling me out of my own head.”

Liara swallowed nervously, unsure if Shepard was talking about their conversation, the kiss, or both. “It - it was my pleasure,” she finally stammered. As Shepard passed beside her, she deliberately let their arms brush, and Liara felt her pulse pick up all over again.

“Well, let’s go see what Anderson has to say.” She turned, glancing back over her shoulder after a few feet. “You coming?”

Liara followed, secretly glad that she would not have to be parted from Shepard so soon. She wanted to stay as close to her as possible.


	25. Chapter 25

Liara winced as she stepped past the bouncer at Flux, resisting the temptation to lift her hands and block out the loud music. The deep, steady throb of the bass threatened to swallow her up, and she was only a few feet through the door. She knew Tali felt differently, but visiting the casino always set Liara on edge. She did not like noise or crowds, and Flux was filled with both. Squinting her eyes to ease the discomfort of the flashing, multicolored lights, she pulled a little closer to Shepard, who was standing to her left.

Shepard read the discomfort in her body language immediately, letting her fingertips stroke briefly against the side of Liara’s arm. Even through the material of her white and green jumpsuit, Liara felt a tingle where the pressure of Shepard’s hand had been. She tried to relax as Ashley Williams stepped up beside them, slowly scanning the club. “Anderson’s got to be here somewhere,” she said, although Liara could barely hear her over the music. “Did he tell you where he was going to wait, Commander?”

“I got the message second-hand,” Shepard explained, and Liara blushed as she remembered Joker’s untimely interruption. Part of her still could not believe that she had finally received her first kiss. Her lack of romantic and sexual experience had never bothered her much before, but now, with what might be the end of the galaxy looming over them, she wished she had taken more chances. It was a little depressing to think that she could have been kissing Shepard for weeks, maybe even months, before this if she had simply asked. Although she was grateful that Shepard had taken the time to get to know her, Liara silently resolved not to let any more opportunities slip by.

Beside her, Shepard lifted her hand, gesturing at one of the tables. “There, in the back. Let’s go.” A large, muscular man with close-cropped hair and dark skin was looking over at them, and although Liara had not met him in person before, she recognized him from the descriptions the other squadmates had given her. This had to be Captain Anderson. 

The crowd parted effortlessly for Shepard as she moved past the dance floor and the bar, heading directly for Anderson’s table, and Liara could not resist staring for a moment before she followed. Shepard’s confident, determined stride had returned, and Liara was happy to see it again after their conversation by the lockers. 

Finally, they reached the table, and Shepard slid into the seat across from Anderson. Liara automatically took up her usual position just behind Shepard’s right shoulder, glancing over just in time to see Ashley do the same on her left. It was a habit they had fallen into during missions, since Shepard nearly always took point. 

“I’m glad you came, Shepard,” Anderson said, leaning forward a little to be heard over the noise. Even though she knew very little about him, Liara could tell that he was clever. Obviously, he had picked Flux for the privacy in plain sight that it offered, even if the loud music was distasteful.

“They pulled me off the mission, Anderson, just like when they forced you to give up the Normandy.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I wanted to warn you, but there was no way to get a message to you before you docked. I know you’re pissed off right now, but you can’t give up. They all think this is over, but we both know it’s not. You have to go to Ilos! You have to stop Saren from using the Conduit!”

Shepard sighed, resting her elbows on the edge of the table. “There’s only one ship that can get me into the Terminus Systems undetected, and it’s grounded.”

“It’s a good thing you called, Sir,” Ashley said to Anderson. “T’Soni and I were going to ask Joker to blast us out of the docking bay next.” Shepard gave Liara a sidelong look, and she blushed when she noticed the Commander’s raised eyebrow, clearing her throat and glancing away.

Anderson snorted. “I don’t think we’ll have to do anything that drastic, Chief Williams. Citadel Control’s locked out all the Normandy’s systems. If we override the Ambassador’s orders, we can get them to bring the Normandy back online.” He turned back to Shepard. “You can be in the Terminus Systems before anyone even knows you’re gone.”

Shepard’s lips twitched into an uncertain frown. “If we steal the Normandy, you’re the one left holding the bag.”

“And if Saren finds the conduit, life as we know it is over,” Anderson insisted. “The Reapers will destroy us. You’re the only one who can stop them, Shepard. I’ll do whatever it takes to get you on the Normandy and off this station.”

Shepard and Anderson stared at each other for several moments, communicating in the silent way that soldiers did. It reminded Liara of the day before, when Shepard had looked at Ashley on the bridge after Kaidan’s death. “I won’t forget this, Captain. I promise.”

“I can unlock the Normandy from one of the consoles in the Citadel Control Center,” Anderson said. “You’ll have a few minutes before anyone realizes what happened.”

Liara’s eyes widened. Despite her lack of knowledge when it came to the Citadel’s internal operations, she had not missed the C-Sec officers that constantly patrolled the command center at the edge of the docking bay whenever they disembarked from the Normandy. “That is a restricted area patrolled by armed guards. How are you going to get past them to reach the console?”

“Leave that to me. Just make sure you’re all in the Normandy when the systems come back online.”

Shepard shook her head, obviously not satisfied with Anderson’s dismissive explanation. “There has to be a better way.”

“Ambassador Udina issued the lockdown order. If I can hack into the computer in his office, maybe I can override it.”

This time, Ashley was the one to speak up. “With all due respect, sir, Udina isn’t gonna let you waltz into his office and use his computer.”

Anderson’s large shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Hopefully, he won’t be there. If he is, I’ll just have to think of something.”

“Udina won’t let this slide, Captain,” Ashley said, her brow lowering with concern. “You’ll be charged with treason - a capital offense.”

“We don’t have a lot of options. I break into the Ambassador’s computer, or I take my chances with the patrols in Citadel Control. It’s a direct violation of Udina’s orders either way.” He stared directly at Shepard. “What do you think, Commander?”

Shepard paused, considering for a moment. “You’ll have a better chance if you go after the Ambassador’s computer. If he’s there, you can subdue him more easily than a troop of C-Sec officers.”

“I was hoping you would say that,” Anderson said. A satisfied smile spread across his face. “The Ambassador has made this... personal. You ready to get the hell off this station, Commander?”

Shepard pushed out of her seat, leaning forward as she braced herself on the edge of the table. “Let’s do it.”

“I’ll take care of the lockdown,” Anderson said as he stood up. “You get down to the Normandy and tell Joker to stand by.”

This time, as they left Captain Anderson behind and made their way back through the crowd of dancers and drinkers, Liara was not bothered by the steady thump of music. She felt hopeful about their chances for the first time since Kaidan’s death. Newly energized, she looked over at Shepard, who was glancing at the dance floor with a curious expression on her face as they passed.

Impulsively, Liara reached out, lacing their fingers together. “Do you like to dance, Commander?” she asked over the noise when Shepard turned to look at her.

“Actually, I’m pretty terrible at it. But you…” Shepard paused, giving Liara a quick up-and-down that had her skin tingling. “I have a feeling you’re an amazing dancer.” She sighed, giving Liara’s hand a squeeze as they continued towards the door. “I’d ask you to dance with me if we didn’t have to go save the galaxy,” she said, and although her tone was teasing, Liara could hear the regret behind it. 

“After this is over,” Liara promised. “As part of our date. Maybe not at Flux, but… somewhere. I want to dance with you.”

“You sure about that?” Shepard asked. “I already told you I’m terrible.”

“I do not care if you claim to be terrible at it. I still want to dance with you.” 

Shepard shook her head, but she was smiling. “Your risk to take. When this is over, I’ll take you dancing.”

As they slipped through the door with Ashley a few steps behind, leaving Flux and heading down the stairs towards the nearest transport terminal, Liara kept hold of Shepard’s hand. She did not want to give up this new intimacy she had found. Not now, when they might only have a little time left. Perhaps…

Liara looked over at Shepard again, studying her profile as she began keying instructions into the orange screen of the terminal, requesting a cab to take them to the docking bay. If they succeeded in liberating the Normandy, the journey to the Mu Relay would take several hours. Even though they had not been able to dance, perhaps there would be time to take a different risk before they reached Ilos.


	26. Chapter 26

Liara took a deep breath as she lingered outside of Shepard’s cabin, trying to gather the courage to reach out and touch the glowing green pressure pad at the side of the door. She lifted her hand, but lowered it again a few seconds later when it continued to tremble before her. Biting her lower lip, Liara tried to tap into the confidence that had surged through her at Flux, but now, faced with the realization of her desires, nervousness and doubt began to creep up on her again. What if Shepard rejected her? What if she had no idea what to do? What if…

“Shepard will not say no,” Liara whispered to herself, hoping that by speaking aloud, she could banish the last of her fears. “And she said that she would teach me…” Still, the thought of simply walking into Shepard’s cabin and offering herself made Liara’s stomach twist. The sensation was not unpleasant, but it left her feeling slightly dizzy. She rested her hand against the wall, a few inches away from the pressure pad, and sighed. If she did walk in, she was not entirely convinced she would be able to keep standing long enough to ask Shepard to make love to her.

Eventually, the dizziness began to fade, replaced with the rapid, unnaturally loud thumping of her heartbeat as it jumped just above the dip in her collarbone and pounded in her head. Even if Shepard did say yes and agree to spend their last few hours together before they reached Ilos, Liara had no idea what they would do. She knew very little about how humans had sex, and hoped that Shepard’s body would be at least passably similar to hers. A soft tingling began to rise beneath Liara’s skin, and she shivered at the thought of finally uncovering the sleek muscles that were surely hiding beneath Shepard’s clothes.

That thought was nearly enough motivation for her to open the door, but Liara hesitated for a moment longer. Although she knew that Shepard would never pressure her or force her, Liara was fully aware that if she entered Shepard’s cabin, there would be no going back. This was their last chance, perhaps their only chance. “And I will not waste any more time,” Liara murmured, giving the pressure pad a determined push. She had already lost so much. No matter what happened, she wanted to claim this experience for herself, and to share it with Shepard. Her feelings were too powerful to deny any longer, even when the galaxy was on the verge of destruction.

The doors hissed open, and Liara stepped inside, a little of her nervousness fading when she saw that Shepard was sitting at her terminal. It was an almost charming reverse of their usual dynamic. The only light came from the soft blue glow of the terminal’s screen, and it illuminated Shepard’s face as she turned around to see who had entered her cabin. Her smile banished the last of Liara’s doubts and gave her enough courage to find her voice. “Shepard, may I speak with you?”

Shepard turned and stood up from her chair, but did not brace herself against the desk. Instead, she stepped forward, closing a little of the distance between them. “I was just thinking about you,” she said neutrally, obviously realizing that Liara wanted to ask her something. She folded her arms across her chest, and although her posture was relaxed, Liara could not help but notice the firm shape of her upper arms, especially since her sleeves were rolled up past her elbows. 

“I have been thinking about you, too… and what we are about to face.” Liara took a deep breath, and when she noticed that her hands were twisting together in front of her, she pulled them apart and forced herself to relax. She supposed it was natural to be nervous, but she did not want to appear as if she was afraid. “I do not know what is going to happen on Ilos. I hope we will stop Saren, of course, but part of me fears that we are already too late. There is something I must tell you, in case we fail.”

Shepard stepped even closer, unfolding her arms and reaching out to put a firm, reassuring hand on her shoulder. The touch burned even through the fabric of Liara’s jumpsuit, and she felt her legs threaten to buckle beneath her again. “We’re not going to fail. I promise.”

“Please,” Liara said, shaking her head, “I am not looking for comfort. Saren might already have the conduit. It is time to be completely honest with each other. These could be our last moments together, our last chance to show each other how we feel. I want this to be special.”

Liara saw the realization dawn on Shepard’s face - surprise, followed by a glowing excitement tinged with worry at the edges. “We don’t have to do this,” Shepard said, although she did not remove her hand from Liara’s shoulder. “Not unless you’re sure. If you want to be with me, be with me because you feel something. Not because you’re afraid we’ll both be dead by tomorrow.”

This time, it was Liara’s turn to smile. She placed her fingers overtop of Shepard’s, giving them a soft squeeze as she stared up into her new lover’s eyes. When she spoke, it was with absolute certainty. “I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Will you join with me, Shepard? Let our bodies and minds unite. Let me show you just how much I feel for you.”

Shepard withdrew her hand from beneath Liara’s, letting it stroke down the side of her arm. “Just... tell me what to do.”

Liara was a little surprised by Shepard’s willingness to let her lead, especially since she had no experience to speak of. Still, what she lacked in knowledge, she would be sure to make up for in enthusiasm. She looped her arms around Shepard’s neck, closing the short distance left between their bodies. She pressed herself tight against Shepard’s warm, solid chest, her gaze lingering on the soft shape of her lips. It would only take a brief moment to close the distance and…

Their second kiss was just as electrifying as the first. It sent warmth radiating out from the center of Liara’s chest all the way to her fingers and toes before it finally settled somewhere low in her abdomen. This time, when their mouths brushed, she did not freeze up. Instead, she let her hand wrap around the back of Shepard’s neck, automatically tilting her head and parting her lips. Just as she had hoped, Shepard flicked at them with a warm, probing tongue. 

Fingers slid down her back, brushing the length of her spine through the fabric of her clothes, and Liara let out a soft groan against Shepard’s mouth, unwilling to break their kiss, but unable to stifle her response. When Shepard finally pulled back just enough for both of them to steal a quick breath, Liara felt the loss pierce her stomach with a blissful sort of ache. “God, I’ve waited so long to kiss you…” Shepard murmured, tracing the outline of Liara’s lips with soft pecks.

“You just kissed me a few hours ago,” Liara whispered back, and the words caused their mouths to brush again.

“Still too long.”

Silently, Liara agreed, but she was too preoccupied with kissing Shepard again to bother speaking anymore. This, she decided, was her new favorite activity, even though she had only experienced it for the first time today. Kissing Shepard made her feel drunk, unhinged, desired in a way she had never known. Her hands wandered to the hem of Shepard’s shirt, afraid that she was being too forward, but desperate to feel warm, naked skin beneath her hands. “Please,” she murmured, kissing a careful trail from the corner of Shepard’s mouth to the firm line of her jaw, nuzzling into a surprisingly soft and tender place behind the Commander’s ear. “May I…?”

Shepard pulled back, lifting her arms and giving a soft nod of approval. “Go ahead. I want you to touch me.”

Even though she already knew that Shepard wanted her, simply hearing the words made Liara’s heart soar. With a fresh burst of confidence, she began tugging Shepard’s outer shirt up along her stomach, past the narrowest part of her waist and over the perfect swells of her breasts. Their outline became clearer as she began stripping Shepard’s compression shirt over her head as well, and Liara’s hands itched to cup them, to test their weight, to find out how firm they were.

Shepard seemed to read her mind, and after she had tossed her shirt aside, she took Liara’s hands in hers, drawing them close to her chest. Her pale, freckled skin radiated warmth, and Liara felt the throb between her legs grow even more insistent. She glanced down, biting nervously at her lower lip as she took in the sight of the tight brown nipples that capped Shepard’s breasts. The tips had already pulled into hard little points. “Go ahead,” Shepard repeated, guiding Liara’s hands into the proper place.

Liara let out a soft sigh as she finally cupped Shepard’s breasts, feeling the nipples press into the center of her palms. At first, she was not quite sure what to do, but when a slow caress brought out an encouraging noise, she tried it again. Eventually, her hands began to wander, exploring all of Shepard’s naked torso. She teased the tips of Shepard’s breasts, trapping them between her fingers and pulling lightly before stroking the hard pectoral muscles just above, the ones that brought out the strong line of Shepard’s shoulders. She traced down along Shepard’s bare arms, feeling the power coiled there, and even wrapped around to explore her back, enjoying the broad expanse of warm, smooth flesh that was all for her. Her lips began blazing a trail down Shepard’s neck, pausing to nibble briefly at her collarbone before finally drawing lower.

When she finally gave in to temptation and folded her mouth around the hard point of Shepard’s nipple, running her tongue around it, Shepard clutched the back of her head, pulling her close. It was a little awkward bending down to reach while Shepard was still standing at her full height, but Liara could not bring herself to care. She wanted to learn every inch of her new lover’s body with her hands and mouth, and was surprised that Shepard was allowing her so much time to explore. “God, that feels good,” Shepard groaned just above her, stroking the folds at the back of her neck. Liara felt the tips of her own breasts tighten at the intimate touch, and her jumpsuit suddenly felt constricting. “I don’t think you’re going to need a lot of lessons from me after all…”

Liara released the tip of Shepard’s breast with a soft pop. “But I want them,” she said, a plea edging into her voice. “If - when this is over, I want to spend all the time I can learning how to please you.” Her hands wandered down along the tight sheets of muscle that covered Shepard’s stomach, enjoying the way they twitched beneath her fingers. She let the edges of her teeth graze the side of Shepard’s other breast, kissing a large freckle there that she knew she would be returning to often.

“Liara…” Shepard’s hand slid beneath her chin, gently pulling her away and lifting her head so that their eyes could meet again. “Let’s get out of these clothes.” She tugged at Liara’s sleeve briefly as she straightened up, making her meaning clear.

Reluctantly, Liara took a step back, reaching to the side of her neck and finding the tab of her zipper. Her nervous fingers fumbled for a moment when she noticed how intently Shepard was looking at her, but she finally managed to pull it open, and even began to enjoy her new lover’s wide-eyed fascination as she tugged it sideways and down. A low growl rumbled in Shepard’s throat, and Liara saw her arms tense ever so slightly as the muscles of her abdomen tightened even further. Even though Shepard was being incredibly patient with her, she could sense the raw power just beneath the surface, and someday, Liara resolved to push Shepard past her breaking point. She wanted to feel all of that animalistic strength once it had been unleashed.

It took a few moments, but finally, Liara had pulled the zipper over her breasts and down along her side, peeling open the edges of her uniform and shrugging her arms out of the sleeves. Shepard’s hands were on her in an instant, gentle and firm all at once as they stroked her bare shoulders, drinking in her nakedness. For the first time, Liara understood the power of her own body. She had the ability to test Shepard’s resolve just by taking off her clothes, and while she was being looked at with such naked desire, she could not bring herself to feel self-conscious.

When the last of her clothes dropped to the floor, Liara inhaled slowly, allowing Shepard a moment to take her in. The moment did not last long. Shepard hurried to undo her own pants, shoving them down over her narrow hips and taking her underwear with them. For a moment, Liara felt the nervous fluttering return to her stomach, but it was quickly replaced by a low, heavy throb of desire as she finally got her first look at Shepard’s naked body.

She was perfect. Absolutely magnificent. Even her flaws - the scars, the small imperfections and uneven places - were perfect because she was made up of them. “Goddess,” Liara breathed, her face heating up as she struggled to find the words she wanted. “You are… I cannot even…”

Shepard smiled at her. “It’s okay. You’re so beautiful that I ‘can’t even’, either.” She reached out, obviously wanting to touch, but they were still standing a short distance apart. “Come here,” she asked, opening her arms and inviting Liara into them.


	27. Chapter 27

Liara did not hesitate. She padded forward on naked feet, adding a sway to her hips that she had not even known she was capable of, and Shepard’s eyes followed her every movement. Instead of sliding into Shepard’s embrace, Liara ran her hands over both of Shepard’s shoulders, then down along her triceps, squeezing her hands briefly and leaning in for one last kiss. Their lips met for a long, slow second before Liara finally drew back again, dropping to her knees. Shepard seemed surprised, but she did not protest, even spreading her legs another step apart.

“Please,” Liara found herself murmuring in between kisses as she grazed her lips over the soft skin of Shepard’s abdomen, following the line that bisected the powerful muscles there. “Please, Shepard, I want to…” Honestly, Liara had no idea what she wanted to do, but something was calling her to learn the rest of Shepard’s body, to discover the parts she had not had the chance to explore yet. She looked up, her cheek still resting against Shepard’s stomach, and was reassured by the hooded green eyes staring back down at her. Shepard’s hand caressed the back of her crest, running through the dips and making her gasp at the intimate touch.

“You can do anything you like,” Shepard said, folding her fingers around the back of Liara’s neck in a reassuring squeeze. Liara felt a surge of warmth at being given permission to explore, and carefully, she began running her hands up along Shepard’s thighs, shuddering a little at the power there. The very tips of her fingers drew higher, stopping just below the creases where Shepard’s legs ended, and Liara finally allowed herself a close look. 

The hair was a bit of a surprise. There was only a small, groomed patch in the shape of a triangle just above Shepard’s pubic bone, but Liara still had not been expecting it. Honestly, she was not sure how she had missed it before. It was an eye-catching shade of red, only a little darker than the hair on Shepard’s head. Curiously, she lifted one of her hands and traced her fingertips through it, enjoying the texture and the way Shepard’s stomach muscles tensed. “If you keep teasing me like that, you’re going to drive me crazy,” Shepard warned her, and Liara felt the fingers on the back of her neck tighten just a little.

Liara smiled. “I want to drive you crazy,” she said, still trailing her fingers through the soft patch of hair.

“You’re going to have to go lower for that,” Shepard said, spreading her legs even further apart.

The invitation drew Liara’s attention back down, and her fingertips followed her curious gaze. Below the trimmed red hairs, Shepard’s skin was completely bare and smooth. The outer lips were familiar, and although it was a slightly different shape, so was the little red bud nestled between them. If it worked anything like her own, Shepard would enjoy being touched there, even if it looked more like a small, hooded button than an arch. Carefully, Liara parted the soft flesh with her fingertips, wanting a closer look, and a whimper broke in her throat when she saw part of the hood draw back, revealing a small pink shaft and even more wet, glistening folds just below.

Feeling more confident after discovering that Shepard’s parts were at least passably similar to her own, Liara dipped forward, drawing the tip of one finger through the shimmering wetness that had started to coat the swollen, heated flesh. As she inhaled, her entire body trembled. Shepard’s scent was just as perfect as she was, heavy and a little spicy, but not overwhelming. Her mouth watered. She did not know if humans used their mouths for sex the way some asari did, but based on the way Shepard’s body was responding, she hoped so.

Liara drew her finger back up, gently toying with the hard little bud she had discovered, and a smile spread across her face when Shepard’s hips pumped forward slightly, searching for more contact. The low groan from above her told Liara that she had to be doing something right, and so she repeated the motion, flicking the round, exposed tip and pressing against it. When her finger accidentally slipped in a circle, Shepard cried out in surprised pleasure, and Liara quickly repeated the motion, eager to coax her lover into making more of those wonderful sounds.

“Liara,” Shepard panted out through gritted teeth, her nails biting into the back of Liara’s neck. Then, she seemed to realize that she was being a little rough, and turned the touch into a softer caress. Liara found that she missed the slight edge of pain, but she was too preoccupied to be surprised by the thought. “Keep doing that, and you’re going to make me come…”

“Tell me how,” Liara asked, placing brave kiss just above the soft patch of red hair as her fingertip continued circling. “Show me.”

Shepard’s hand let go of her neck, reaching down to brush her fingers and knuckles. Gently, she repositioned Liara’s hand, dragging her fingers away from the tip of her hard point and easing them into the wet, welcoming flesh below. The first time Liara’s fingers slipped inside of Shepard, it was unintentional. She had only been trying to map out the unfamiliar landscape, and when they caught the edge of Shepard’s opening, they pushed forward without any resistance. Liara gasped as tight, clinging muscle folded around her fingers, pulling at them, trying to draw them deeper. She pushed up, wondering how far she could go, and when Shepard let out a sharp cry and rocked her hips down, she knew she had found another way to bring her lover pleasure. 

But with her fingers buried inside of Shepard, that left the needy pink bud peeking out from its hood without any stimulation. Acting on instinct, Liara bent forward, running the flat of her tongue over the stiff point and letting out a low groan when Shepard’s hips bucked again. The clinging heat around her fingers drew even tighter.

At first, Liara just pressed soft kisses to the hard button, switching to feather-light licks when she realized that the heavy, slightly salty taste that was slowly spreading across her tongue belonged to Shepard. It was extremely pleasant, and she found herself searching for more, pulling the stiff point past her lips and drawing on it hopefully. It did not give her any more wetness, but she realized that her fingers were being coated with heat, enough to run down past her wrist. So, humans resembled asari even more closely than she had thought. Still, wrapping her lips around Shepard had caused more low groans and cries, so she continued doing it, enjoying the way the small shaft twitched against her tongue.

“Harder,” Shepard gasped above her, and Liara felt a firm hand grip her shoulder. She was not sure whether Shepard meant for her hand to push harder, or for her mouth to pull harder, so she did both, burying her fingers as deep as possible as she drew the stiff point deeper into her mouth, accidentally grazing the edges of the shaft with her teeth.

That did it. Shepard’s body went stiff, the muscles in her abdomen flexing as she shouted out something like Liara’s name. Her inner muscles spasmed wildly, and Liara could feel them draw impossibly tight around her fingers, nearly pushing them out again. The bud wrapped between her lips twitched, and Shepard’s hips fell into a hard thrusting motion. Somehow, Liara managed to follow the erratic motions, too overwhelmed to even notice the mild discomfort.

Finally, Shepard’s body went still, and Liara pulled back, feeling absolutely elated by what she had just done. Somehow, she had managed to figure out how Shepard’s body worked, and if the heavy breathing she could hear was any indication, she had done her job well. She looked up at Shepard with a large smile splitting her face, running her tongue over her lips as she gently withdrew her fingers. They glinted even in the dim light of the room, and Liara felt brave enough to bring them up to her mouth and run her tongue between them. This time, Shepard’s taste was even stronger, and she quickly slid her fingers past her lips, cleaning them thoroughly as Shepard watched.

“You’re going to kill me, you know,” Shepard groaned, dropping down to her knees so that she and Liara were on the same level again. “I can’t believe you’ve never done this before.”

Liara had spent enough time around humans over the past several months to realize that Shepard was joking, and she took the compliment for what it was, feeling her heart jump a little as she drew her fingers out of her mouth. “I am glad I was able to please you,” she murmured, reaching out to pull Shepard into another hug. To her surprise, Shepard kissed her instead, gently easing both of them onto the ground. Although Liara was a little startled to find herself being pulled forward, she trusted that Shepard would not let her fall. 

After a moment, Liara braced herself on her hands, looking down at Shepard as she rested on her back. Her hair was splayed out across the floor, and her face was slightly flushed beneath her freckles. Liara bent her head, pressing another kiss to her lips, and she made a soft noise of approval as Shepard’s tongue slipped into her mouth. When Liara realized that Shepard was actively trying to taste herself, the low pulse between her legs flared up again.

“Shepard,” she whispered against her lover’s lips as their kiss finally broke. “Please…”

She did not need to say anything else. In less than a second, all of the power that Shepard had been holding back, all of the strength, all of the animalistic need, was finally unleashed. Suddenly, she found herself being flipped, and she allowed Shepard to guide them into a roll, shivering a little as her shoulderblades touched the cold floor. But as Shepard settled over her, pressing their bodies close and covering Liara with her comforting weight, the chill faded almost immediately.

“If anything hurts, or you ask me to stop, I will,” Shepard breathed beside her crest, but as her strong hands traced along Liara’s sides, shifting inward to cup her breasts before scraping down her stomach with blunt nails, Liara knew that she would never ask Shepard to stop. This was exactly what she wanted.

Even though Shepard took her time, laying claim to every inch of her body with hands and lips, Liara could feel the impatience simmering just beneath the surface. She felt it in the sharp, possessive bites Shepard placed in a line along her throat, the ragged rhythm of her breathing, and the way her hands never lingered for too long in any one place. They toyed with her nipples, bringing them to hardness before tracing the grooves in her ribs and folding firmly around her hips.

Liara felt as though her skin was aflame. She burned. She ached, and when Shepard finally wandered lower, parting her thighs and settling her pelvis between them, Liara could not help herself. She rocked up, catching against Shepard’s hipbone and letting out a cry so needy she could hardly believe it had come from her throat. The strange contrast of rough, primal desire and tenderness in Shepard’s touch made her dizzy with want. Her face heated as wetness trailed down along one of her thighs, and she knew that Shepard had to feel it against her skin.

“Oh God, you’re already so wet for me,” Shepard murmured, seeming to read her mind. One of the hands at Liara’s hips drew lower, lower, stopping just short of where she needed it. “So ready…” Then, finally, Shepard’s fingers made contact, slipping through her folds, rubbing firmly against the tight ridge of her clit. 

“Shepard!” Liara cried out, her arms circling around Shepard’s back. She let her nails bite into Shepard’s broad shoulders, remembering how the sensation had actually been pleasant on the back of her neck before. 

Although Shepard’s touch was gentle, it was not uncertain or exploratory. Experience guided her, and Liara was grateful that she knew exactly where to go. Shepard’s fingers had her gasping, struggling to take in air. A sure thumb began painting wet circles along her clit, searching until she found the right pressure and speed, and Liara bucked her hips, unable to hold still. Fire burned somewhere deep inside of her, and pressure pounded between her legs. She wanted to crawl out of her skin, and some of the constant throbbing crept up along the back of her neck, pulsing inside of her head.

“Please, Liara, let me-” Shepard began, but moments later, she was already teasing the ring of muscle at Liara’s entrance, still drawing patterns above with her thumb.

Liara’s eyes slammed shut, and she rocked forward, digging her nails into Shepard’s broad back. Then, Shepard’s fingers were pushing forward, sinking inside of her, catching only for a brief moment before thrusting as deep as possible. There was a slight sting at first, but as Shepard’s hand began moving, curling, drawing waves of pleasure out of her, Liara could not bring herself to care. Teeth latched on to her shoulder again, and Liara pulled her head to the side, giving her more room to bite. This was what she had wanted. This was what she had craved. Shepard, unleashed upon her, claiming her completely.

It was too much. When Liara opened her eyes again, they were glossed over with black. The ache in her head and the ache between her legs were the same, and they threatened to consume her. “Embrace...” she started to say, but Shepard swallowed the second word with another kiss. Liara knew that she did not need to ask. She reached out, groping forward, searching until she sensed the bright beacon of Shepard’s soul, and clung to it.

The meld was clumsy. Instinctive. This time, Shepard’s mind was free of visions, free of Saren, free of everything except for her. Liara gasped as Shepard’s lust poured into her body, lighting her blood, stealing her breath. All of Shepard’s thoughts rushed through her head in a jumble, and finally, they began to sort themselves into somewhat coherent fragments. _‘Liara. So beautiful- mine- I love...’_

 _‘... you,’_ Liara thought back. ‘I love you.’ They were words that she had wanted to save, to use after Saren was defeated and they had some hope of a future together, but now, she could not bring herself to stifle them. She felt Shepard’s heart leap with joy in her own breast. Then, she crashed back into an awareness of her body as the movement of Shepard’s fingers started again, causing her inner muscles to flutter and pull tight around them.

_‘I can’t believe I’m the first to-’_

Their bodies shifted together, falling into the same rhythm.

_‘... I am glad it is you. I wanted to give you...’_

But words were not enough, were not even necessary. Feelings rushed by so fast that Liara could barely name them all. Need, desire, longing, and love. It was impossible to tell where she ended and Shepard began. Shepard was within her, a part of her, a mark on her heart that could never be wiped away.

When the fingers claiming her finally found the perfect spot, Liara froze for several timeless seconds. She clutched at Shepard’s mind, drawing it in close, dragging her new lover over the edge with her. Both of them shuddered apart, breaking down to fragments. This time, the ‘I love yous’ were not spoken, or even thought. They were simply known. Then the contractions started, and Liara screamed into Shepard’s shoulder as her body took over for her mind. Wetness poured from her, running slick over Shepard’s hand, and each pulse and release of her inner muscles was hot, liquid bliss. She felt rather than saw Shepard follow her over the edge, because for at least a few moments, her sight was blotted out.

Then, suddenly, the meld was over. Liara had been too exhausted to maintain it any longer. She felt a brief pang of loss, but it was swiftly replaced with warm, lazy satisfaction as her body came down from its new high. She let out a long, slow exhale, staring up into Shepard’s eyes. “By the Goddess,” she said aloud, the words breaking a little since her throat was still a little raw, “that was incredible, Shepard.”

Shepard looked down with satisfied smirk, giving her fingers another gentle push. “Ready for round two?”

“Commander!” But even as Liara laughed, she nuzzled against Shepard’s sweat-slicked throat, inhaling the scent of her hair and skin, eager for more of whatever her new lover wanted.

That was when the sound of Joker’s voice echoed through the cabin, startling both of them. “Commander? Five minutes ETA to the Mu Relay.”

Liara sighed, tearing her eyes away from Shepard’s as the fingers inside of her withdrew. She would not allow this to ruin what they had just shared. “I had better go,” she whispered, trying to keep her voice even. “Duty calls. You would not want to keep Joker waiting.”

“Liara…” A warm hand caressed the side of her face, and Liara found herself staring into Shepard’s eyes for a few more moments. 

“Shepard… whatever happens on Ilos, I just wanted to say… thank you. For everything.”

Shepard shook her head, brushing one final kiss over Liara’s lips. “Don’t thank me. Soon, this is all going to be over, and we’ll have time for… us.”

“Us. I like the sound of that.” Liara smiled, feeling a little of the pain in her chest ease. “I will hold you to your promise.”


	28. Chapter 28

Liara gazed out the window of the Mako as they lurched forward through the underground bunker, rumbling down the uneven, sloping trail that cut through the vines and earth. The abrupt drop from the Normandy onto the surface of Ilos had nearly made her vomit, but this time, she did not feel sick at all. She was too fascinated by the view. The walls were made of compact dirt, worn metal, and creeping, overgrown plantlife. Occasionally, small blue circles with glowing rims would flash by in clusters, and although she could not get a close look, Liara suspected that they were stasis pods, considering their numbers.

“I have spent my life studying the Protheans, but I never dreamed I would discover anything like this,” she murmured, a little overwhelmed. Although she knew she should be worried about Saren, Liara could not help being distracted by the history and meaning behind this place. She desperately hoped she would have the chance to study it later. Most other scholars of Prothean history would have given decades of their lives for just five minutes on Ilos. 

“This bunker might have been the last refuge of their entire species!” she continued as Shepard drove onward. Ashley Williams shot her a barely-tolerant look from over the shoulder of the front passenger seat. She had been chosen to man the Mako’s guns, since she was a better shot, leaving Liara alone in the back. “Just imagine what mysteries it might hold, imagine what secrets it might reveal-”

“Hey, try to remember why we’re here,” Ashley said, although not as unkindly as she might have. “Saren? The Conduit? The fate of the entire known galaxy?”

Liara blushed, properly chastened, and lowered her head, although she still continued to sneak glances past the window. “I am sorry. I was swept up in the moment. I just hope we have the opportunity to study this place in detail after this is done.”

“I thought Saren would have set some kind of trap or ambush for us,” Ashley muttered. She stared out of her window with suspicion instead of awe, watching the blue circles flash by. “What are all those things on the wall? Some kind of containers?”

“They look like stasis pods,” Liara said, voicing her earlier suspicions. “The Protheans probably tried to keep themselves alive through cryo-” 

Suddenly, an orange flash appeared directly in front of them, slicing through the bunker from the ceiling to the floor. Shepard swore, braking hard and swerving to avoid hitting the glowing orange light with the nose of the Mako. “Shit, what is that thing?” she barked as they finally came to a jolting stop. 

“I have no idea,” Liara said, leaning forward between the two front seats to get a better look out of the window. “It appears to be some kind of barrier.”

“It’s a trap,” Ashley said, her fingers tightening around the gun controls. “Saren must have set an ambush.”

Liara shook her head. “I do not think Saren is behind this. He commands the geth and manipulates organic beings to do his bidding. He does not rely on barriers or traps like this.”

“Well, whatever it is, I’m not going to risk driving through it or shooting at it until we figure out where it’s coming from,” Shepard said decisively, slamming her hand on the button that would unseal the Mako’s doors. “Let’s get out and see what we can find.”

Hesitantly, Liara followed Shepard and Ashley out of the Mako, meeting up with them around the other side. She could not resist taking a moment to gaze up at the walls, inhaling a quick breath. Ilos was a very strange world - dead, but alive at the same time. It was more magnificent in person than in all the holos she had ever studied, even more awe inspiring than the glimpses she had seen in Shepard’s visions.

“There’s an elevator off to our right,” Shepard said as Liara finally tore her eyes away from the pods embedded in the walls. She spoke softly, seeming almost regretful at having to tear her away from her observations. “We should go see if there’s a way to shut off that barrier.”

“Yes, of course,” Liara murmured, hurrying over to where Ashley was waiting for them with an impatiently tapping foot.

The elevator ride up to the next floor was slow, but it gave Liara more than enough time to think. Her feelings were a jumbled, overwhelmed mess. She still had not had time to process the fact that Shepard had made love to her for the first time just a few hours ago. Now that they were here on Ilos, so close to Saren and to the end of their mission, it almost seemed like another lifetime. 

Before Liara’s thoughts could wander any further, the elevator shuddered to a stop, opening onto a long, narrow bridge. Shepard stepped out first, automatically taking point, and Liara fell in at her left as usual, keeping pace with Ashley Williams. As they made their way forward, Liara was able to make something out amidst the overgrown vines. “Is that a console?” she asked as Shepard halted in front of it. 

“Yep,” she said, reaching out and brushing some of the plant life away. “Still active, too.”

“Well?” Ashley said, an impatient wrinkle creasing her forehead. “Press it, Commander! Maybe it will get rid of that barrier downstairs so we can go after Saren.”

But Shepard did not need to press the console. It activated on its own, and a glowing orange sphere projected itself in front of the small screen. A few rings and flickering patches of light rotated around its circular core. “You are not Prothean,” it said in a flat, robotic voice, “but you are not machine, either. This eventuality is one of many that was anticipated. This is why we sent our warning through the beacons.”

Ashley narrowed her eyes with suspicion. “Looks like some kind of VI program. Pretty badly damaged…”

“I do not sense the taint of indoctrination upon any of you,” the VI continued. “Unlike the other that passed recently. Perhaps there is still hope.”

Liara blinked quickly, unable to believe her eyes. When the floating orange sphere remained, she felt excitement begin to blossom in her chest. “This is incredible!” she gasped as she considered the possibilities. “An actual Prothean VI, and I can understand it! How..?”

“I have been monitoring your communications since you arrived at this facility,” the VI said. “I have translated my output into a format you will comprehend. My name is Vigil. You are safe here for the moment, but that is likely to change. Soon, nowhere will be safe.”

“Are you some kind of artificial intelligence program?” Shepard asked.

“I am an advanced, non-organic analysis system with personality imprints from Ksad Ishon, Chief Overseer of the Ilos research facility.”

“Why did you bring us here?”

“You must break a cycle that has continued for millions of years, but to stop it, you must understand, or you will make the same mistakes we did. The Citadel is the heart of your civilization and the seat of government, as it was with us, and as it has been with every civilization that came before us. But the Citadel is a trap. The station is actually an enormous Mass Relay, one that links to Dark Space, the empty void beyond the Galaxy’s horizon. When the Citadel relay is activated, the Reapers will pour through, and all you know will be destroyed.”

All of them stood in silence for several moments, dumbstruck by the information the VI had given to them. Liara shook her head in disbelief, although she did not say a word. If it was true… If the Citadel really was some kind of Mass Relay that could bring more ships like Sovereign… “Goddess,” she murmured as the shock finally began to wear off. “If that is true, and the Reapers find a way through, they will slaughter us all.”

“How come nobody ever noticed the Citadel was an inactive Mass Relay?” Shepard asked urgently, taking another step toward Vigil.

“The Reapers are careful to keep the greatest secrets of the Citadel hidden,” said Vigil. “That is why they created a species of seemingly benign organic caretakers. The Keepers maintain the station’s most basic functions. Reliance on the Keepers ensures no other species will ever discover the Citadel’s true nature, not until the relay is activated and the Reapers invade.”

“The Reapers can wipe out the Council and the entire Citadel fleet in a single surprise attack!” Shepard said, her voice rising in volume with each word.

“That was our fate. Our leaders were dead before we even realized we were under attack. The Reapers seized control of the Citadel, and through it, the Mass Relays. Over the next decades, the Reapers systematically obliterated our people. World by world, system by system, they methodically wiped us out.”

Liara felt the weight of the VI’s description settle over her. So, these were the answers she had been seeking. The solution to the great problem that she had spent years of her life trying to solve. This was how the Protheans, and every great race before them, had died. Isolated, cut off, harvested by fire and machine until none were left. “Some of you must have managed to survive,” she whispered, although she knew it was not true.

“Through the Citadel, the Reapers had access to all our records, maps, census data. Information is power, and they knew everything about us. Their fleets advanced across every settled region in the Galaxy. Within a few centuries, the Reapers had killed or enslaved every Prothean in the galaxy. They were relentless, and absolutely thorough.”

“I don’t understand,” Shepard said. “What do the Reapers get out of this? Why do they keep repeating this pattern of genocide over and over?”

“The Reapers are alien, unknowable,” said Vigil. “Perhaps they need slaves or resources. Perhaps they are driven by motives and goals organic beings cannot hope to comprehend. In the end, what does it matter? Your survival depends on stopping them, not in understanding them.”

Shepard’s face set with determination, and for a moment, Liara felt the heavy weight of her newfound knowledge lift. When Shepard took on this state of heroism, when she became something more than just a human or a soldier, it gave everyone around her strength. Liara even noticed Ashley’s expression shift to mirror Shepard’s. “You said you brought me here for a reason,” Shepard said. “Tell me what I need to do to stop the Reapers.”

Vigil flickered. “The Conduit is the key. Before the Reapers attacked, the Protheans were on the cusp of unlocking the mysteries behind Mass Relay technology. Ilos was a top-secret facility. Here, researchers worked to create a small-scale version of a Mass Relay, one that linked directly to the Citadel, the heart of the Relay Network.”

Liara’s mind began racing. If the Citadel was really an enormous Mass Relay, and the Protheans had managed to link their own smaller Relay with it, that meant... “The Conduit is not a weapon,” she blurted out, knowing she was right even as she spoke. “It is a back door onto the Citadel! That is why Saren has been searching for it.”

“How did you manage to keep it hidden for so long?” Shepard asked. “I thought the Reapers would have tried to destroy something as dangerous as the Conduit if it could link to the Citadel and disrupt their plans.”

“All official records of our project were destroyed in the initial attack on the Citadel,” Vigil said. “While the Prothean Empire came crashing down, Ilos was spared. We severed all communication with the outside, and our facility went dark. The personnel retreated underground into these archives. To conserve resources, everyone was put into cryogenic stasis. I was programmed to monitor the facility and wake the staff when the danger had passed. But the genocide of an entire species is a long, slow process. Years passed. Decades. Centuries. The Reapers persisted, and my energy reserves were dwindling.”

“You should have fought,” Shepard protested, obviously unhappy with the VI’s explanation.

“We were a few hundred against a galactic invasion fleet. Our only hope was to remain undetected. I began to disable the life support of nonessential personnel. First, support staff. Then, security. One by one, their pods were shut down to conserve energy. Eventually, only the stasis pods of the top scientists remained active. Even these were in danger of failing when the Reapers finally retreated back through the Citadel Relay.”

Liara swallowed as she remembered the alarming number of stasis pods outside. Before, she had tried to suppress the fleeting hope that perhaps a few of the pods had remained active. It was practically impossible, considering the amount of time that had passed since the fall of the Prothean Empire, but it had been a nice thought. Now, she wished the pods had been empty, no matter the scientific gains that might be achieved by studying the remains inside them. “There were hundreds of stasis pods out there!” she said, staring at Vigil in horror. “You just shut them down? You killed them?”

“This outcome was not completely unforeseen. My action were a result of contingency programming entered on my creation.”

“I bet they didn’t tell the nonessential staff about this contingency,” Ashley muttered under her breath.

“I saved key personnel. When the Reapers retreated, the top researchers were still alive. My actions are the only reason any hope remains. When the researchers woke, they realized the Prothean species was doomed. There were only a dozen individuals left, far too few to sustain a viable population. Yet they vowed to find some way to stop the Reapers from returning, a way to break the cycle forever, and they knew the Keepers were the key.”

“So they used the Conduit to get to the Citadel,” Shepard said. 

“Yes. The Keepers are controlled by the Citadel. Before each invasion, a signal is sent through the station, compelling the Keepers to activate the Citadel relay. After decades of feverish study, the scientists discovered a way to alter this signal. Using the Conduit, they gained access to the Citadel and made the modifications. This time, when Sovereign sent the signal to the Citadel, the Keepers ignored it. The Reapers are trapped in dark space.”

Shepard shook her head, looking almost impressed. “And Saren can use the Conduit to bypass all the Citadel’s external defenses. No one will even see him coming!”

“Correct,” said Vigil. “And once inside, he can transfer control of the station to Sovereign. Sovereign will override the Citadel’s systems and manually open the Relay. And the cycle of extinction will begin again.”

“Is there any way we can stop them?”

“There is a data file in my console. Take a copy when you go. When you reach the Citadel’s master control unit, upload it to the station. It will corrupt the Citadel security protocols and give you temporary control of the station. It might give you a chance against Sovereign.”

“Wait,” Ashley interrupted, “where’s the Citadel’s master control unit? I’ve never heard of anything like that.”

“Through the Conduit. Follow Saren. He will lead you to your destination.” The VI flickered again, and Liara noticed with some sadness that it was beginning to grow fainter. She desperately wanted to ask Shepard to stay and talk with it some more, but she knew there was no time. Even now, Saren might already be passing through the Conduit to gain control of the Citadel. And once he did, there would be no way to stop the Reapers from returning.

Shepard reached down, drawing her pistol again and popping the heat sink. With her other hand, she stretched forward to grab the small disk that Vigil had ejected from its console. “Saren’s got enough of a head start,” she said, shoving the data file into her suit. “Let’s go!”


	29. Chapter 29

This time, as the Mako bumped and lurched along the path, Liara could not bring herself to look out of the windows. The clusters of stasis pods became more and more frequent as they descended deeper into the bunker, and she did not want to think about what was contained inside of them. Part of her could hardly believe everything that Vigil had told her about the extinction of the Protheans, but it meshed perfectly with everything else that they had discovered so far, dovetailing with her decades of study. The Reapers. The Citadel. The Conduit. All of it made a terrifying, sickening sort of sense. The pattern was disturbingly clear.

“Skipper, we’ve got company,” Ashley said from the front seat, abruptly pulling Liara out of her thoughts. The Mako slowed to a stop at the peak of a small hill, just before the trail descended into a steep drop.

“We’ve got more than just company,” Shepard said, and Liara loosened her safety harness just enough to lean forward and gaze out of the front window.

The sight below her was amazing. A few hundred yards ahead of them, the bunker’s narrow pathway expanded out into a large cavern. The ceiling above them disappeared, giving way to roots and open air, and familiar, pulsing blue light shone throughout the wide space. Twin metal spikes jutted up toward the sky, and even though the shape was vertical instead of horizontal, Liara recognized it immediately. “There, the Conduit! It is incredible!” she gasped, pushing between the two front seats to get a closer look. 

“We don’t have time to admire the view,” Ashley said, peering through the main gun’s targeting scope. “We have to get through that relay, and these geth aren’t going to make it easy on us!”

“Geth?” Liara looked again, and this time, she noticed an entire squad of geth units surrounding the base of the Conduit. She could see the silhouette of at least one Colossus backlit by the blue light, waiting just past the tangle of giant roots, and she was willing to guess that there were several more further down. The geth did not advance towards the Mako. They simply waited, watching them intently.

“There are too many for us to kill with the Mako,” Shepard said, her voice steady and resolute. “We have to outmaneuver them.”

“Outmaneuver them?” Ashley protested. “Commander, are you sure?”

“If Vigil was right, Saren has already gone through the Conduit. He left those geth behind to make sure we wouldn’t follow him. We don’t need to kill them - just get past them in one piece. Then, the Conduit will take us straight to the Citadel.”

Although she still looked doubtful, Ashley pulled back from the scope and gripped the gun’s controls. “Right. I’ll try and keep the little ones off us if you can dodge the plasma blasts.” Without being prompted, Liara sat back in her seat and hurried to refasten her harness. If Shepard wanted to go on some sort of wild race through a horde of geth, she was going to make absolutely sure that she was buckled and strapped in.

“Let’s go,” Shepard said, and Liara felt her body lurch as the Mako surged down the steep ramp.

They only made it a few yards before the shell of the Mako rocked and shuddered as something collided directly with its nose. Without even looking, Liara recognized the impact as a plasma blast - exactly what Shepard was supposed to be avoiding. Since she could not do anything to help while Shepard was driving and Ashley was shooting, Liara lowered her head and closed her eyes. Surviving long enough to reach the Conduit would be difficult, but keeping her heaving stomach calm would be impossible if Shepard continued driving like this.

The Mako swerved again, but thankfully, the bite of the safety harness into her neck and shoulder distracted Liara from her nausea. A bright flare exploded just beside the front tire. At least this time, Liara thought, Shepard had managed to dodge properly. Gunfire and loud booms echoed in her head, and she heard Ashley cry out in triumph at least once.

When Shepard finally started driving in something that resembled a straight line, Liara dared to look out the front of the Mako again. The Conduit was rapidly approaching, but even more geth were closing in on them, trying to block their path. “We are not going to make it!” she shouted as another Colossus stepped in front of them, standing directly before the ramp leading up to the brilliant blue circle of light.

“Oh yes we are,” Shepard shouted, slamming her foot down on the propulsion. 

The Mako jolted, and there was a horrible, ear-splitting squeal of metal against metal as it collided directly with the giant Colossus. Then, something seemed to grab them, pulling them upwards into the air, lifting them higher and higher. Liara stared in awe out of the side window, watching the figures of the geth become smaller and smaller.

Suddenly, the noise of gunfire vanished. A split second later, it was replaced by a loud whooshing noise that ended with a low rumble. Liara felt herself being launched forward into the air, into nothingness, into a black void where there was no sound at all. 

The next thing she knew, they were crashing back to earth again in a blinding flash of blue, spinning out of control as loud, blaring sirens screamed around them. It took Liara several moments to realize that she was upside down. Thanking the Goddess for her safety harness, she lowered the flickering biotic shield that she had not even remembered activating. Apparently, flying through a Mass Relay with nothing but the Mako to shield her had been enough to trigger her biotics instinctively.

Just in front of her, Shepard let out a low groan, testing the movement of her head and shoulders before slamming her fist into the chest buckle of her safety harness. “Liara, are you all right?” she asked, carefully trying to maneuver herself out of her seat. She slipped, cursing slightly as her head collided with the open and partially-dented side door. 

“Yes, Shepard,” Liara said, hurrying to unfasten her own harness. She had to reach out and brace herself against Ashley’s seat to keep from falling until she was able to right herself. “What about Chief Williams?”

“Fine,” Ashley said, her voice slightly muffled as she tried to wriggle into an upright position. “Of all the times you’ve driven the Mako, Commander… this is definitely the worst.”

“Well, it’s wrecked now,” Shepard said, kicking the broken door the rest of the way open. “I won’t be driving this thing anywhere anytime soon. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Shepard exited the Mako first, falling sideways and quickly pulling herself out of the way to make room for Ashley. Once they were both outside, Liara managed to maneuver herself between the two front seats, climbing over them and lowering herself carefully out of the door. As soon as she rose to her feet, the acrid smell of smoke bit her nose. Several small fires were burning around them, and as Liara gazed around, she realized that they had crash landed in the middle of the Presidium. Its usual bright lights had gone out, and there were no other people in sight.

“Goddess, what has Saren done?” she murmured, looking around in shock. 

“I don’t want to know,” Shepard said, drawing her pistol. Liara quickly checked her own, relieved to see that it had survived their less than graceful exit from the Conduit. “Come on. Avina’s over there.” Shepard gestured with her hand towards Avina’s console, which had somehow managed to survive all the destruction. “Maybe she can tell us where Saren is.”

Liara’s eyes widened in surprise. “She is still active? How?”

“Guess that thing is too annoying to shut off,” Ashley sighed. “I hate VIs…” After their conversation with Vigil - however enlightening it had been - Liara was inclined to agree. 

Cautiously, the three of them approached Avina’s console, and as they drew closer, she spoke in her usual placid, inflectionless voice. “Critical failures detected across all monitored systems,” she informed them. Her face was still smiling, but her hologram jolted erratically, occasionally even turning her entire body around to face in the opposite direction. “The Presidium is experiencing severe system malfunctions across the entire level. All non-emergency personnel must evacuate immediately.”

“Give me a rundown of the damage,” Shepard said, and Liara half-expected for Avina to ignore the question. Although she was still somewhat functional, she had obviously been badly damaged.

Avina managed to answer, but her head twisted awkwardly to one side as she gave her report. “We have lost all primary power to the level. Environmental controls are not responding. Class three fires are burning in sectors 2, 3, 6, and 7. Civilian casualties are high. I am also detectiving numerous unauthorized synthetic life-forms throughout the station. They are believed to be hostile. Please approach with caution.”

Ashley let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t think we’re going to get anything useful out of it, Commander. We need to figure out where Saren’s headed.”

Shepard glanced at Ashley and shrugged. “Can’t hurt to ask. It would save us some running around.” She turned back to Avina. “Do you know where Saren is?”

“Former SpecTRe agent Saren Arterius is nearing the vicinity of the Council Chamber. A warrant has been issued for his arrest, though Citadel Security is unable to respond at this time.”

Liara let out a small gasp. The Presidium was obviously in terrible shape, but if there were not even enough active law enforcement agents left on the Citadel to go after Saren, that meant things were much worse than she had thought. “C-Sec is unable to respond? If all law enforcement agents have been evacuated or killed... Shepard, ask Avina where the Council is.”

Avina answered without being prompted a second time. “In accordance with standard emergency procedures, the Council has been evacuated to the Destiny Ascension.”

“What about Captain Anderson and Ambassador Udina?” Ashley asked. “What happened to them?”

“I have no information on the status of specific individuals. Once the current crisis has been resolved, a complete accounting of casualties and survivors will begin.” 

“Come on,” Shepard said, turning away from the VI. “We know where Saren’s going, and we need to stop him before it’s too late. There’s an elevator over there. Maybe we can catch him in the Council Chamber.”

Liara and Ashley turned to follow her towards the elevator, but not before Avina’s eerily pleasant voice called out after them. “Please begin emergency evacuation procedures. This is not a drill.”

It took an uncomfortably long time for the elevator to reach them, and Liara started to wonder if it was even slower than the Normandy’s lift. Finally, just when she was about to remark that it was probably broken, the doors opened, and the button to their right flashed green. Liara hurried inside a step after Shepard, turning in time to see the doors close behind Ashley.

Haltingly, grudgingly, the elevator began its ascent, rising high above the Presidium and giving them a bird’s eye view of the damage. “Holy shit,” Ashley said, leaning forward to get a better look, “Saren must have brought an entire army of geth with him. Everything’s burning and torn to pieces.”

Although she had never been particularly fond of the Citadel, Liara felt a stab of anger and sadness as she stared out over the wreckage. The station was home to millions of people, and if Avina was to be believed, they had not even been able to count the number of casualties. Before Liara could put her thoughts into words, the elevator shuddered to a stop, freezing half-way up along the Citadel Tower. 

As soon as the elevator stopped shaking, Shepard drew her pistol, her face falling into a grim, resolute expression that Liara knew well. “Saren’s locked the elevator,” she said. “Suit up, we’re going outside!” Liara hurried to check the seals on her suit, although she had inspected them before their landing on Ilos. She did not want to take any chances. Beside her, Ashley did the same.

A shot fired, and the sound of shattering glass exploded around them just as Liara activated the artificial gravity feature on her boots. She jerked her head up, watching as clear, jagged shards of glass drifted out into the air, hovering for a moment before they fell toward the ground. Air rushed through the interior of the elevator, and Liara shivered, although not entirely from the cold. She had never been very fond of heights.

Once the way was clear, Shepard stepped out through the broken elevator door, climbing sideways onto the surface of the tower itself. Her boots made a clunking sound, sealing to the side of the tower and locking her in place as she reoriented herself. After a moment’s hesitation, Liara followed, stepping out into the abyss and trying not to look down as her boots gripped the wall. Instead, she faced forward and up, towards Shepard, the Council Chamber, and Saren.


	30. Chapter 30

Liara panted as they stumbled around one of the small, circular gardens that dotted the top of the Citadel Tower, struggling to catch her breath. They had run into the ‘army’ of geth Ashley had predicted as soon as they stepped out of the elevator. Liara had long since lost count of the geth units they had destroyed, and her hands were numb inside her protective gloves from the constant energy pulsing through them.

Fighting their way up through the elevator shaft had been bad enough, but running into the defensive turrets positioned on the side of the tower was even worse. Liara had nearly been killed by one of the blasts, and only Shepard’s quick reflexes had prevented her from being blown to pieces. Part of her had hoped that the geth’s numbers would taper off the closer they got to the Council Chamber, but the large group they were currently fighting was quickly putting an end to that delusion.

“Liara, on your six!” Ashley hollered, firing off another round from her shotgun. Although Liara had found Ashley’s attachment to her ‘boomstick’ silly at first, the sight of it filled her with relief now. That shotgun had saved her life more than once in the past few minutes. She whirled around, launching another singularity without even bothering to look. Sometimes, the split second it took to aim was too big a sacrifice. Two geth units began floating into the air, lifted by pulsing purple light, and Liara let out a small breath of satisfaction as she saw a blue streak charge towards them. Shepard was looking out for her, too. Seconds later, the geth flew in opposite directions, falling to pieces as they dropped to the ground.

“I think we’re clear,” Shepard yelled back, jogging towards them at a fast clip as her shields recharged. Even though Liara’s heart was already pounding from adrenaline and physical exertion, she felt it jolt just a little more at the sight of her lover. Shepard’s movements were surprisingly captivating to watch even when she was not fighting.

“Right, Commander,” Ashley said. “We’re almost there. Saren has to be near the podium...” As one, the group turned and headed for the stairs, sticking close to the railings just in case they needed to duck back into cover. Liara stayed a step behind Shepard, pistol gripped firmly in her hand. 

Finally, they reached the top of the stairs just in time to see a dark shadow slip over the top of a glowing red screen. Liara came to an abrupt stop, lifting her gun when she saw Shepard and Ashley do the same. Although she still preferred to use her biotics whenever possible, she was becoming more and more accustomed to the feel of her pistol.

“That’s never been there before…” Ashley muttered under her breath, gesturing toward the wide red terminal at the edge of the walkway. Cautiously, she moved to get a closer look.

“Don’t.” Shepard held out her arm, blocking Ashley from passing. “Wait.”

They waited. First for one heartbeat, then two. The warning sirens still blaring around them faded into the background. Each second that ticked by made Liara’s hand shake a little more. Somehow, the anticipation was worse than facing Saren head-on. 

Suddenly, a familiar whirring sound grew in their ears, and Saren shot up from underneath the walkway, swinging his arm as he rose into the air. Liara did not even think. She simply responded, throwing up her barriers as a spiraling red ball flew towards them. The blast came a split-second later, knocking all of them backwards as smoke and rubble exploded where they had been standing moments before.

When the ringing in her head finally stopped, Liara opened her eyes and scrambled desperately for her pistol, which had slid a yard away in the explosion. Thankfully, it was undamaged, and she wrapped her fingers around the handle, ignoring the way they ached. When she dared to look up, she caught sight of Shepard crouched at the edge of the walkway, her back pressed against a low wall near the railing. Quickly, Liara ducked into the nearest cover she could find a few steps below.

“I was afraid that you wouldn’t make it in time, Shepard,” Saren called out, still hovering above the red screen at the edge of the walkway. His pistol remained outstretched in front of him.

“In time for what?” Shepard yelled back, keeping her back pressed against the wall and her head down. Although she was too far away to offer Shepard any real protection, Liara watched both of them closely, preparing to fire a shot or a warp as soon as the fighting started again.

“The final confrontation. I think we both expected it would end like this. You’ve lost. You know that, don’t you? In a few minutes, Sovereign will have full control of all the Citadel systems. The relay will open and the Reapers will return! You survived our encounter on Virmire, but I’ve changed since then - improved. Sovereign has upgraded me.”

“You let Sovereign implant you?” Shepard snapped, daring to peek past the wall. “Are you insane?” Liara felt her stomach drop. Suddenly, she was grateful that her mother had died with some of her own mind left. The insidious effects of indoctrination were horrible enough to witness, but at least Benezia had not been implanted like Saren.

“I suppose I should thank you, Shepard. After Virmire, I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said. About Sovereign manipulating me. About indoctrination. The doubts began to eat away at me. Sovereign sensed my hesitation. I was… implanted to strengthen my resolve.” The pause between Saren’s words only lasted for a moment, but it was enough. With slowly growing horror, Liara realized that part of the real Saren was still trapped inside his own mind, scrabbling at the walls to get out. Was this how her mother had felt before…? “Now, my doubts are gone,” he continued. “I believe in Sovereign completely. I understand that the Reapers need organics. Join us, and Sovereign will find a place for you, too.”

“Sovereign’s controlling you through your implants! Don’t you see that?”

“The relationship is symbiotic. Organic and machine intertwined, a union of flesh and steel. The strength of both, the weaknesses of none!” Saren’s empty hand raised, his talons curling in on themselves, and Liara gasped. Was it her imagination, or were they longer than before? And was his skin darker? “I am a vision of the future, Shepard, the evolution of all organic life! This is our destiny. Join Sovereign, and experience a true rebirth.”

Shepard’s voice took on a pleading edge as she called out over the railing. “Sovereign hasn’t won yet. I can stop it from taking control of the station! Step aside, and the invasion will never happen!”

Saren shook his head in disbelief, his pistol lowering a fraction of an inch. “We can’t stop it, not forever. You saw the machines, you saw what happened to the Protheans. The Reapers are too powerful.”

“Some part of you must still realize this is wrong,” Shepard insisted. “You can fight this!”

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe there is still a chance for…” Saren’s voice broke off, and his empty hand shot up to his head, clutching it in pain as he cried out. “Gr- gahhh! The implants!” he groaned between swift pants, his body wavering on top of the hover-platform. “Sovereign is too strong! I am... sorry. It is too late for me.”

Shepard stepped out from behind the low wall, her pistol hanging loosely at her side as she stood before Saren. “It’s not over yet,” she said, reaching out her hand. “You can still redeem yourself!”

Saren simply stared at Shepard, and even from her distance, Liara could see the resigned, almost peaceful expression on his face. It was an eerie contrast to the rage that had been there before. He lifted his pistol, tucking the barrel just beneath his chin. “Goodbye, Shepard. Thank... you…” 

There was a brief spark of blue, and a quick blast barked over the constant wail of the warning sirens. Saren jerked, and his head fell forward against his chest. His grip went slack, and his pistol clattered as it fell from his talons. Then, Saren’s body slumped, tipping over the edge of the hover-platform and disappearing out of sight. 

Moments later, the loud shattering of glass had Liara sprinting from cover, towards the walkway and Shepard. She arrived only moments before Ashley, who had taken cover on the other side of the platform. “I… cannot believe it is over,” Liara found herself saying as the three of them peered over the walkway, looking down to try and make out Saren’s body amidst the plants and broken shards of glass. “I never expected Saren to kill himself.”

“Maybe it was better this way,” Shepard said, holstering her gun and stepping back from the railing.

Ashley nodded. “Better than being a Reaper slave, ma’am.” Her eyes flicked towards the red terminal. “Think that’s the Master Control Unit? 

“It has to be,” Shepard said, activating her Omnitool. “Guess it’s time to try that data file.” They crossed the short expanse of the walkway and stopped in front of the glowing screen. Liara watched hopefully as Shepard synced her Omnitool with the terminal, typing commands into her wrist. “Vigil’s data file worked. I’ve got control of all systems.”

“See if you can open a communications channel,” Liara suggested, taking a step closer so she could look over Shepard’s shoulder. “We have no idea what is going on outside the station.”

Shepard continued typing into her Omnitool, and a few moments later, a thin, grainy voice came through the terminal. It was faint, and the audio cut out every few seconds, but it was still somewhat understandable. “.... the Destiny Ascension - main drives offline, kinetic barriers down to 40 percent! The Council is onboard, I repeat, the Council is onboard!”

It took a few moments for Liara to feel the weight of the distress call, but when she did, it crashed down onto her all at once. The Destiny Ascension was the flagship of the Citadel fleet, the most advanced ship of its kind. If it was about to be destroyed by a single Reaper, what hope did the rest of the fleet have?

Suddenly, the comm unit in Shepard’s helmet cut in, broadcasting Joker’s familiar voice. “Normandy to the Citadel, Normandy to the Citadel! Please tell me that’s you, Commander.”

Shepard raised a hand to her ear. “I’m here, Joker.”

“I caught that distress call, Commander. I’m sitting here with the entire Arcturus fleet. We can save the Ascension! Just unlock the relays around the Citadel and we’ll send the cavalry in!”

“You can’t sacrifice human lives to save the Council, ma’am,” Ashley interrupted before Shepard could give Joker an answer. “What have they ever done for us?”

Liara felt a brief stab of something like betrayal. Aside from a few comments when she was not focusing properly on the mission, Ashley’s attitude towards her had improved immensely. But now, it seemed she had regressed back to their old opinions - except this time, Liara was not afraid to speak up. “This is bigger than humanity, Chief Williams. Sovereign is a threat to every organic species in the galaxy!”

“Exactly! We can’t throw away reinforcements trying to save the Council. We have to hold them back until Sovereign is exposed!”

“By then, it may be too late,” Liara insisted. “I know the Council did nothing when we needed them most, but this is not about them. If the Destiny Ascension falls, so will the rest of the Citadel fleet, including all the civilian refugees of every species that managed to evacuate onto the other ships.”

Ashley’s determined expression faltered for a moment. “I…” She glanced at Shepard, who was watching both of them closely. 

“Their civilians are no different than ours, Ash,” Shepard said. “We all have to do our part in this war. We can’t let the Citadel fleet take all the casualties and ride in at the end to clean up and take the credit.”

Ashley averted her eyes for a moment, looking almost guilty. Then, she gave Shepard a crisp salute. “Aye aye, Commander.” She turned towards Liara. “T’Soni, I - thank you. You were right. Those civilians are people like Garrus and Tali and Wrex. And you. I don’t want to see them die just because I hate the Council, not when the Alliance can help.”

Liara did not answer, but she smiled as Joker’s voice came back over the comm. “What’s the order, Commander? Come in now to save the Ascension, or hold back?”

Shepard lifted her hand to her helmet again. “I’m opening the relays now, Joker. We need to save the Ascension.”


	31. Chapter 31

Once the comm channel cut out, Shepard stepped past the terminal and peered over the edge of the walkway. Saren’s corpse was still there, sprawled unnaturally on the ground, surrounded by shards of broken glass. “Make sure he’s dead,” she ordered, and Liara and Ashley turned as one, retreating back across the bridge towards the stairs. 

When Ashley reached the place where Saren’s body had crashed through the protective glass separating the walkway from the small garden below, she swung her body over the railing, balancing on the edge of the bridge. “Well, T’Soni?” she asked, looking back over her shoulder. “You coming?”

Liara was a little surprised by Ashley’s idea of a shortcut, but compared with scaling side of the Citadel tower while fighting off hordes of geth, jumping seemed easy enough. When Ashley leapt down onto the grass, she followed, landing with a soft thud and catching herself on her hands. Thankfully, there was no glass where she had fallen.

In the few seconds it took for Liara to right herself, Ashley strode towards Saren, drawing her shotgun as her heavy boots crunched through the grass. Liara managed to catch up just before Ashley fired, and she could not suppress a quick flinch at the noise. Blue sparks jumped around Saren’s head where the bullet had pierced him, but he did not move.

Liara lifted her hand to the comm that was attached to her crest, touching it with two fingers as she linked to Shepard’s helmet. “Shepard… he is dead,” she said softly, and together, she and Ashley began to turn away, heading back towards the stairs.

Suddenly, more sparks began to dance around them, red this time, crackling and shrieking like tongues of lightning. There was a low rumbling sound, and the bridge above them started to quake. Liara whirled back around just in time to see Saren’s body writhe in agony, consumed by the eerie, unnatural threads of glowing light. There was a scream, although Saren’s corpse did not even seem to have a mouth anymore, and the light formed a crisscrossing network of tiny red lines across his entire body.

Liara stumbled away as fast as she could, popping the heat sink on her pistol and glancing around desperately for cover. A flash of red exploded around Saren, sending her reeling backwards just as the walkway above began to screech. The force of the blast pushed her out of the way as it collapsed, but even before she had picked herself up, she was screaming Shepard’s name. Her eyes caught movement beneath the wreckage, and Liara allowed herself to breathe again as Shepard rolled over onto her side.

A loud roar came from above them, and Liara shouted in surprise as she watched Saren lift several feet off the ground. His body began to shift, writhing as it stretched and twisted into unnatural proportions. Saren’s talons became giant, dagger-like claws, his neck stretched to an impossible length until only steel imitations of vertebrae left, and his inner workings were nothing but metal and electricity. 

“I am Sovereign,” he shouted in a voice layered with other voices, “and this station is mine!” Then, with almost impossible speed, he leapt onto the nearest wall, clinging to it like some kind of deadly insect.

Liara threw a warp on instinct, feeling the energy shoot down along her arm and leave her hand in a powerful blast. Her blue light collided with Saren’s red, but he shook off the attack quickly, leaping for another wall. “Liara! Ashley! Get that thing down!” Shepard barked as she swung her gun over her shoulder, firing at Saren and ducking behind the nearest stone block at the same time. Fortunately, there were several scattered throughout the garden. Liara followed her example, tucking behind one of them.

Saren leapt to another wall, and Liara caught a glimpse of Ashley peppering him with her shotgun. Unfortunately, it was not very effective at long range, and it did not even make a dent in his new, powerful body. She heard Ashley swear in frustration. “It’s got shields!” she yelled. “Damn it, where’s Tali when we need her?”

“Then we’ll have to do this the hard way,” Shepard called back. “Liara! See if you can lift it!” 

Liara popped out from cover just long enough to launch a singularity at Saren, but even though it blossomed into a purple ball of light, he remained clinging to the wall, completely unaffected. “I can’t!”

“Try a different way!” Shepard urged her, ducking just in time to avoid a series of red, fiery blasts from Saren as he leapt back to the ground. “Damn it, he can throw fire, too!”

“Shit,” Ashley swore, “and overload shotguns! I’m popping my heat sink, but-” Saren roared again, and another blast cut off the rest of Ashley’s words as she flew backwards towards the nearest wall. Then, the metallic husk turned its attention on Shepard, launching itself towards her as she raised her shields and tried to back away.

Gritting her teeth, Liara dove out into the open again, refocusing her attack. She tugged at the threads of energy surrounding her, twisting them into something useable. Instead of summoning a singularity, she simply concentrated on lifting Saren into the air, hauling him up off the ground.

It was the only opening Shepard needed. Just as they had done a thousand times before, she charged forward in a streak of blue, igniting Liara’s biotics and throwing Saren towards the other side of the room. Shepard started firing before he even hit the ground again, and from somewhere she could not see, Liara heard Ashley do the same. Obviously, she had picked herself back up. “His shields are down! I think we can-”

Saren flew back to his feet, screaming his rage towards the ceiling before taking another giant leap and clinging to one of the walls. “Not anymore!” Liara called out, diving out of the way as another red explosion sent her staggering and make her barriers waver.

“Liara, lift him again!” Shepard ordered, sprinting towards her across the grass as crackling red energy scorched the spot where her feet had been a split second before. There was a small crack in her visor, and her armor had taken several dents from her charge, but she was still moving.

Liara’s adrenaline spiked, and somehow, she summoned the strength to rip Saren away from the wall with her biotics. He went into an uncontrolled spin, tilting sideways in the air. As Ashley and Shepard started firing at him, she yanked her elbow back, using the last reserves of her energy to toss another warp in his direction. As soon as its edge touched the blue light surrounding Saren, there was a loud blast, and his shields flickered out, dying away a second time. “I’ve got it!” Liara yelled, “his shields are down! We have a sho-”

Abruptly, the biotic field snapped, and Liara was thrown backwards, collapsing into a heap on the ground. The world spun, and she could not make sense of the colors swirling before her eyes. Limply, she tried to raise her head, but all she could see was towering blackness scattered with thick wires. Fire and metal scorched her eyes when Saren loomed over her, his jawless head hanging down as he raised his talons for a swipe.

Before he could make contact, blue exploded around them, and Liara felt the familiar hum of biotics wash over her in a rush. Then, Shepard was standing over her instead of Saren, head and chest thrust forward as she collided with him. Saren jolted backwards, his entire body sparking. He was only stunned for a split second, but it was just enough time for Shepard to aim her pistol. This time, since Liara had shields down, the shot pierced his chest. 

Saren fell to the ground beside Liara with a soft but sickening thud, the grass cushioning his landing. He jerked, seizing up as red light poured out from his open ribcage, enveloping his entire body. As the red glow rushed over him, his body began to dissolve at an incredibly rapid pace, burning down into tiny pieces of black ash. Although there was no wind inside the Citadel, they blew away under some power of their own before crumbling out of existence. 

Liara let out a slow breath, taking the solid, reassuring hand that Shepard offered her and stumbling back onto her feet. She spared a quick glance at the faint black outline that had been burned into the grass. After everything they had been through, Saren Arterius was finally dead.

Before they could even take some relief in their victory, the entire tower around them began to rumble, shuddering as tremors tore through the walls. Something large and black loomed just outside the window, hurtling towards it at deadly speed. “Go!” Shepard yelled, trying to shove Liara into a run, but before they could even take a step, the entire world ripped apart at the seams, exploding into fire, and then darkness.

. . .

Liara could not remember closing her eyes, but when she opened them again, pain lanced through her skull. She turned her head a fraction of an inch, burying her face in her arm and returning to the safety of the darkness. After several breaths, she began to take stock of her injuries. One of her legs ached, but it seemed to respond when she tried to bend her knee. Her right cheek stung with some kind of cut, and her entire body felt bruised. 

“Liara, can you hear me? Please, wake up!”

For a brief moment, Liara’s heart leapt. She knew that voice. But then, disappointment settled in. “Ashley,” she slurred, forcing herself to open her eyes despite the pain and struggling into a sitting position. Even that small movement exhausted her, and she slumped backwards against something cold and metallic that seemed to be jutting out of the floor. “Shepard? Where is…”

“Thank God,” Ashley said, crouching beside her. “Here, I’ve got medigel.”

Liara shook her head, lifting a hand to prevent her from administering it. Instead, she pressed a button on her own Omnitool, sighing with relief as cold, blissful numbness began to seep beneath her skin. “I… had some…” she said haltingly. “Where’s… Shepard?”

Even though Liara’s vision was still blurry, Ashley’s frown did not go unnoticed. “No sign of her yet. One of Sovereign’s giant tentacle things crashed right through the damn tower. It tore up everything in its path. Was Shepard in front of you or behind you when the blast hit?”

Liara’s throat began to close up with dread. Shepard had been behind her, pushing her, urging her to run. Just like Therum, only this time, they had not been quick enough. Liara turned her head, and finally managed to look at what she had been leaning against. It was a giant black wall of metal, covering more distance than she could make out in her half-delirious state. “Goddess,” Liara said, her strength returning as she tried to push herself to her feet. “She is somewhere under there! It is crushing her! We have to-”

“Don’t move,” Ashley said, forcing her to remain seated with a hand on her shoulder. “You just took a heavy dose of medigel. I’ll go look for her. She has to be around here somewhere.”

“She is not dead,” Liara murmured, mostly to herself. “She cannot be dead. Not now. Not after…” Overtaken by another wave of dizziness, she slumped against Ashley’s side, not wanting to touch the metal of the Reaper ship again. Lights began floating in front of her eyes, and for a moment, she thought she was imagining things until she heard a different voice call out in their direction.

“Captain, we’ve found them! They’re in here!”

As Liara’s vision cleared again, she looked up to see a figure crawling towards them. For a moment, she prayed that it was Shepard, but as it drew closer, she realized that it was actually Captain Anderson. His uniform was scuffed and torn, but mostly in-tact, and he did not appear to be injured. “Shepard,” Liara said, praying that he would understand and go look for her in the wreckage, but Anderson stopped beside them.

“Take it easy. It’s over, you’re safe now. Where’s the Commander?”

Liara glanced forlornly towards the giant, black metal arm stretching across the ruined Council chamber. She did not need to say another word.

A few moments later, she felt arms slide beneath her elbows, lifting her to her feet. Ashley had taken her right side, and one of the rescue workers was supporting her on her left. After a brief moment of vertigo, she found her balance and began limping forward without them, trying to walk through the wreckage. Her leg still ached, but she did not care. Shepard still had not been found, and she would not rest until she had been reunited with her lover, or discovered her body.

“Liara, wait,” Ashley called after her, gently tugging her back by the arm. “Let the rescue team look. You’re about to fall over, and…” Suddenly, her voice trailed off, and Liara watched as an expression of surprise and joy broke over Ashley’s face. Liara whirled around, but she already knew what she would see - a shock of familiar red hair. Moments later, Shepard crested the wall of black, her armor dented and scuffed, but still holding together as her combat boots thudded over Sovereign’s remains. 

As Shepard picked her way over the scrapmetal and burning rubble, heading directly towards them, Liara felt hot tears stream down her cheeks. She opened her mouth, trying to call out, but found she could not form any words. Shepard was alive. And now, they had all the time in the world.


	32. Chapter 32

“I guess it just feels kind of strange,” Shepard said to Liara as she pressed the green pressure pad beside the door to her cabin. “I expected our first date to be on the Citadel. You know, somewhere fancier… definitely not the same ship we’ve been stuck on for the past several months.”

Liara smiled. “Well, despite the constraints you had to deal with, you have fulfilled your promises admirably so far. You took me to a place that was not crowded, where we could talk and spend time together. You even provided food, although I would hardly call the Normandy’s mess a café.” 

Still, she thought, the wine had been a nice touch. She had only taken a few sips, enough to draw a pleasant warmth to her face and loosen her tongue a little as she and Shepard talked - about themselves, about the crew, about everything except for stopping Saren. That was one subject neither of them wanted to revisit yet. Although it was a relief to know that the galaxy was saved - for now, at least - they were too exhausted to continue thinking about him or the Reapers.

Shepard reached out, taking Liara’s hands in a light but warm grip, and she felt a pleasant shudder run down her spine. “At least I dressed up,” Shepard said, and Liara let her eyes wander up and down the sleek lines of the Alliance uniform that Shepard had dragged out of her closet.

“And I certainly appreciate it,” Liara murmured, surprised by her own boldness. Suddenly, she realized just how much she had changed since meeting Shepard and becoming a part of the Normandy’s crew. Not only could she hold her own in just about any combat situation, but most of her shy awkwardness had faded away. She could talk to new people without being afraid. She had made friends. She had fallen in love. And now, she felt no hesitation as she ran her fingers down the crisp sleeve of Shepard’s dress uniform.

“Well, you’ll get to appreciate it a little longer, because I still have a couple more promises to fulfill,” Shepard said. 

Liara felt a slight pressure at her back, and allowed Shepard to guide her through the door. It closed behind them with a whoosh, and Liara smiled as she turned to look at Shepard again. “Is this our hotel for the evening?” she asked.

One of Shepard’s hands reached out to trail along her side, following its curve before settling at her hip. “Something like that. But not yet. I don’t want to waste that dress you picked out.”

A soft purple blush heated the points of Liara’s cheeks, although the effects of the wine had long since worn off. The clinging, long-sleeved purple dress she had selected was an impulse purchase made on the Citadel during one of their shore leaves. She had used the last of the credits in her dwindling bank account to buy it. Liara had not needed to touch them in several months, since the Normandy provided for her most basic needs now. Upon discovering the dress in a shop window, she had snatched it up, secretly hoping she would find an opportunity to wear it for Shepard. “I am glad you approve, Shepard,” she murmured, pleased by the compliment. “So, if we are not retiring to our ‘hotel’ yet, what do you have planned next?”

Shepard gave her a slightly sheepish grin, and Liara felt her heart skip a beat. It thrilled Liara to know that such a fierce, hardened soldier could still be a little embarrassed in front of her. Somehow, Shepard was even more endearing and lovable because of her contrasts. “Well… I believe I owe you a dance. If you promise not to laugh, I promise to deliver.”

Liara’s eyes widened in surprise, but she gave Shepard a pleased smile. “I would like that very much, Shepard. After all, you did promise.”

“Just don’t be surprised when I step on your toes,” Shepard said, walking over to the room’s sound system and switching it on. Music began to play - not the violent, throbbing rhythm of flux, but something more subdued, with a slower beat. When Shepard returned and opened her arms, Liara stepped eagerly into them. She slid her arms around Shepard’s neck, sighing a little as strong hands settled at her waist. “I really don’t know what I’m doing,” Shepard admitted as they began to sway back and forth, only vaguely following the rhythm of the music. “I’m much better at the kissing part that comes afterwards.”

“Well, that is certainly enough incentive for me to stay,” Liara said with a smile, letting her fingers play through the short wisps of hair at the back of Shepard’s neck. She remembered back to their first encounter on Therum, and realized with some amusement that she had been fascinated with Shepard’s hair even then. Now, however, she was allowed the luxury of running her hands through it. 

They fell into silence after a while, eventually lining up with the music and following each other’s movements a little more smoothly. Shepard had not been lying about her lack of abilities, but Liara found that she did not care. Warmth began to blossom in her chest as she realized how precious this moment was. They had barely escaped from the Citadel Tower with their lives. But Shepard was here, solid and alive in her arms, and even though she still had no idea how to dance, Liara was incredibly grateful.

“You know, you’re the first person I’ve danced with since I was a teenager,” Shepard admitted, breaking the silence and pulling Liara just a little closer. “I knew I was terrible at it, so I never tried.”

“Well, since you were my first kiss, my first sexual experience, and the first one to take me on a date-”

“-and the first to drag you on a quest to save the galaxy,” Shepard added.

“Yes, and that… It seems only right that I should have one of your firsts as well.”

Liara felt the hands at her hips begin to slide a little lower, curving around the swell of her backside to pull her even closer. “So… would you be interested in repeating any of those firsts you mentioned? You know, aside from saving the galaxy?”

“Which one did you have in mind?” Liara asked, her voice dropping to a low murmur.

“All of them,” Shepard said as their faces drew closer together, letting the words die away as their mouths sealed together in a kiss. 

Shepard’s lips were warm and firm against hers, and the kiss was so passionate that it stole the breath from her lungs. Liara parted her lips instinctively, whimpering as Shepard’s tongue slid forward to tease her own. Her desire had been simmering ever since she had stepped through the door to Shepard cabin, but she had not realized how badly she needed Shepard until this moment. 

When Shepard’s arms wrapped tighter around her, Liara melted into them, tightening her hands at the back of Shepard’s neck for extra support as her legs began to buckle. It was not enough, and she threaded her fingers through Shepard’s hair, desperate for more contact. Meanwhile, Shepard’s fingers found the zipper at the back of her dress, slowly easing it down. “Shepard, please,” Liara gasped when their lips finally tore apart. “I need you…”

Shepard smirked, tracing the pads of her fingers down Liara’s already sensitized spine as she continued to unzip the dress. Soon, Liara felt them graze the dip at the small of her back, and the fabric began to slip down off her bare shoulders. “Already?” she teased, tracing soft patterns as she pushed the back of the dress further open. “Don’t you want to keep dancing?”

“I had a different kind of dancing in mind,” Liara insisted, pulling back her hands so that she could thread her arms through her sleeves. A moment later, the fabric of the dress pooled around her feet. She stepped out of it, pressing her naked body closer to Shepard’s and tugging at the hem of her uniform shirt. “And I think we have waited long enough for this.”

Liara saw Shepard’s eyes darken visibly at her words, and although she knew humans could not initiate melds like her species, the contrast was striking, and incredibly arousing. Without another word, Shepard tugged her shirt over her head, almost ripping it off and popping the shiny brass buttons in her eagerness. Liara’s breath hitched as Shepard’s powerful torso was revealed, and her fingers itched to explore it, to trace every line and muscle, to feel the definition. The pants came next, but before Shepard even undo the button, Liara brushed her hands aside, wanting to do this part herself. 

Carefully, she unzipped Shepard’s pants, shivering a little at the noise as its metal teeth pulled apart. Then, she skimmed her fingers over Shepard’s firm abdomen, hoping the tension coiled there was a positive sign. Finally, she tugged Shepard’s pants down to mid-thigh, and would have dropped to her knees to make sure they fell all the way to the ground if Shepard had not put a hand on her shoulder. Liara stayed upright as Shepard stepped out from the last of her clothes, leaving them where they had fallen, but a few moments later, she found herself being backed swiftly towards the nearest wall.

“Someday,” Shepard murmured as she trapped Liara against the cool surface, her lips hovering less than a breath away, “we’re going to do this with both of your legs around me.”

A low whimper broke in Liara’s throat. Just by looking, she could tell that Shepard had enough strength in her arms to lift her up and support her weight. But then she was lost in another kiss, responding heatedly as Shepard’s tongue pressed back into her mouth. She stroked it with her own, and even sucked at the tip, running her hands up and down the broad expanse of Shepard’s back. Her breath hitched when one of Shepard’s hands reached down to grip her knee, dragging it up to hook around her waist. The new position left Liara feeling completely and deliciously exposed.

“Shouldn’t we… bed…?” she asked, even though the last thing she wanted to do was leave this spot. There was something appealing about being taken just like this, swiftly and forcefully against a wall. “I do not think I can continue to stand-”

Shepard silenced her with another short, hard kiss. “You were the one who didn’t want to wait. Now, I don’t want to wait, either. I can’t make it to the bed.” Liara buried her face in the crook of Shepard’s neck as the grip on her knee tightened, holding it in place. Shepard’s other hand slid down along her body, cupping between her legs, and Liara felt a low groan vibrate in Shepard’s throat. “Oh God, you’re already wet…”

The words made her throb against Shepard’s fingertips, and Liara let out a soft cry as she felt her lips being eased apart. She was wet, even though they had just started. Something about Shepard made her body respond in ways she had not even known until now. “For you,” she murmured into the warm skin of Shepard’s neck. Then, she gave into temptation and began to place a line of kisses along the column of Shepard’s throat, grazing her new lover’s pulse point with her teeth. 

“Liara,” Shepard said in a shaky whisper, “I want to-”

“Yes,” Liara whispered back just beside Shepard’s ear. “Please. Take me.”

Slowly, Shepard’s fingers began tracing circles over her clit, pushing back the hood and trapping the tight ridge in a steady grind. Liara’s hips bucked forward, and she used her knee around Shepard’s waist to try and rock into the blissful touch. Although she had only experienced sex once before, she was already eager to lose herself in the sensations, to join their minds in another meld, and feel the bliss of another orgasm. 

“There are so many things I want to do to you,” Shepard panted as she continued rubbing the point of Liara’s clit, switching directions just when she began to grow accustomed to the speed and pressure. “So many things I want to show you…”

“Like what?” Liara asked. Although she was quickly losing her ability to hold a conversation, she was incredibly curious. She just hoped her brain would be able to process what Shepard was saying while her fingers continued working their magic.

“I haven’t gone down on you yet. That’s definitely happening later tonight. I would have done it the first time if Joker hadn’t interrupted us.”

Liara shivered at the thought of Shepard’s tongue sliding through her most sensitive flesh. “And? What else do you want to do to me?”

“Besides finding out how you taste when you come in my mouth? I want to push you back on the bed and take my time kissing every inch of your gorgeous body. I want to find out what makes you whimper, and what makes you scream.”

Liara coated Shepard’s fingers with another pulse of heat as they began to drift lower, abandoning her clit and drawing slowly towards her entrance. “What else?” she asked, almost begging to hear more. 

Both Shepard’s hands and voice hesitated for a moment, as if she was thinking better of what she wanted to say. But then she leaned forward, placing her lips just beside the edge of Liara’s crest. “And if you’ll let me, I want to find out how wonderful it feels to slide my cock inside of you.”

The words were shocking, and Liara did not fully understand them even after they were processed by her translator, but she felt herself respond to the thick, syrupy desire in Shepard’s voice. “How?” she breathed as Shepard began to press inside of her, not penetrating, but circling over and over again with her fingers. “I thought only males of other species had...”

“I can wear one. One that lets me feel how tight and wet you are for me, just like I can feel you around my fingers.” Liara felt the muscles along Shepard’s back tense a little. “Would you like that?”

Although she still did not fully understand, Liara was prepared to try anything her new lover had in mind. She was a maiden, after all, and there were a whole host of sexual adventures she could explore with Shepard. She trusted her new lover to guide her, to help her discover what was pleasurable for both of them. “Yes,” she said, and as a reward, Shepard’s fingers finally slipped past her entrance, curling forward to find the same sensitive spot that had brought her so much pleasure last time. 

Liara tightened her knee around Shepard’s waist and let her head fall back against the wall. The fingers inside of her started moving, pushing as deep as they could and scraping against her front wall every time they pulled back out. She gasped and began to rock against Shepard’s hand, a little afraid of how swiftly her body was responding. Although she was still new to sex, the heat coiling in her lower belly and the pressure between her legs were unmistakable. 

“Goddess, I already want to,” she panted when Shepard’s thumb settled over her clit, flicking it as her other fingers continued thrusting. Liara’s vision began to blur as buzzing energy tickled at the back of her head, and even without being able to see them, she knew that her eyes were already swimming with black.

“You don’t need to hold back with me,” Shepard insisted, grazing her lips against Liara’s temple. Her other fingers hitched Liara’s knee up higher so she could get a deeper angle with her thrusts. “Meld, come, take whatever you need. We have time now, remember? All the time we want.”

Although she had not needed convincing, Shepard’s words were enough to tear down the last of Liara’s walls. She exploded out of her own mind and into Shepard’s, too desperate to wait any longer. Later, she knew, they would find their way back to the bed. They would take their time learning each other’s bodies, coaxing out new responses with each kiss and caress and delighting in their discoveries. But now, she simply needed Shepard as close as possible, inside of her in every way.

_‘Goddess, I almost lost you, I-’_

Liara had not meant to let the thought escape. It had been lingering in the back of her thoughts, shoved down by desire, but as she reconnected with Shepard’s mind - a mind she was already becoming familiar with through their melds - it rose to the surface again.

 _‘No, I’m here,’_ Shepard thought back, halting the movement of her fingers for a split second to offer reassurance. _'Right here. For now and always.’_

Liara clung to that promise with everything she was, pulling Shepard into a place beyond words, a place where only their feelings spoke. Their bodies awakened to each other, joining again as Liara managed to force a hand between Shepard’s legs, wanting to share some of the pleasure she was receiving. Her fingers were too eager, a little inexperienced, not quite hitting the right spot until Shepard’s hips shifted to help her. But finally, the two of them settled into a fluid, rocking motion that had both of them crying out into each other’s mouths as they kissed.

Release hit Liara first, but she dragged Shepard with her a split second later. She could barely tell the difference anyway, with so many different sensations traveling across the living thread that bound them tight together. She could only interpret fragments - Shepard’s warmth tightening around her fingers, her own wetness spilling over Shepard’s roughly claiming hand, waves of bliss shuddering through both of them as they crashed over the edge.

Before her contractions had even faded to aftershocks, Liara felt a hot mouth kissing down the slope of her chest, nipping at her collarbone, sucking the point of her nipple. She arched against the wall, trying to lower her foot back to the floor and regain some of her balance, but soon, it was draped over Shepard’s shoulder instead of around her hip, and the dull edges of Shepard’s teeth pinched the skin just beside her navel. “Shepard, what-” she began aloud, but could not finish as the fingers inside of her began moving again, stealing her words and reinforcing the strength of the meld.

Then Shepard’s tongue was teasing out the hard ridge of her clit, forming a seal with her lips and drawing it in, and Liara could not hold back any longer. She screamed, her hips bucking forward shamelessly as she searched for more contact, more heat, more pressure. The fingers inside of her thrust up and forward again and again, stabbing at the same full spot that always brought her so much pleasure. Another shout tore from her throat, and she clung to Shepard’s mind, drawing in all of her lover’s desire and need and allowing it to ignite her own.

This time, when Liara’s orgasm hit, it was shattering. She would have slumped to the floor if Shepard’s other hand had not been holding onto her thigh, helping to keep her upright. Her inner muscles fluttered wildly, squeezing down around Shepard’s fingers as the ridge of her clit pulsed between Shepard’s lips. And all the while, the steady, reassuring presence of Shepard’s mind was within hers, joining them together. Their feelings did not have to be spoken, or even thought. They were simply shared through the meld.

Finally, she slumped bonelessly against the wall, breathing heavily as Shepard’s mouth finally released her. She made a few soft noises of protest when the fingers inside of her drew back, but allowed her foot to be lowered back to the floor as Shepard stood up. “Come on,” she said, taking Liara’s hand in hers even though both of their fingers were still wet. “There’s a nice, comfortable bed with our name on it, and this time, I’m not missing out on Round Two.”

“I think we are already on Round Three,” Liara said as she followed Shepard on weak, trembling legs. “But I may have forgotten how to count during the past few minutes…”

“Who’s counting?” Shepard said, sitting back on the mattress and pulling Liara down with her. “I plan on making love to you until both of us are too exhausted to move.”

Liara smiled, feeling strength return to her shaking limbs. The low, insistent throb between her legs was back, and she wondered if it would ever go away. Shepard had awakened something powerful within her, and somehow, Liara knew that nothing would ever be the same for her again. But the changes were wonderful, and she wanted to continue exploring them.

“That might take a while,” she said as Shepard eased her onto her back, spreading her thighs and settling comfortably between them.

Shepard smiled up at her. “Good. I want it to take a while.” Then she lowered her head, and Liara forgot everything else as she felt a warm tongue press against her entrance, swirling in circles. She sighed and raised her hips, giving herself over to pleasure and forgetting everything else. Shepard was right. They had all the time they needed.


End file.
